@geoff1000: Maybe it's because I wasn't raised with tech—maybe it's because I've got a lousy memory for faces and names—either way, I have trouble getting the overlap down. And if there's anybody out there who only cuddles "Other" then dang that's awesome for me and I wanna find them!
@DarrenWalker I kinda get your point. If I wanted to cuddle a one-legged Jewish woman who played the bagpipes, and I didn't care about travelling, the Internet is ideal tool to help me find them. The site is more geared to people who have a wide taste, and narrow distance range ; than a narrow taste, and wide distance range.
I would suggest an option to hide profiles from search results without having to block them.
Maybe there should be a two-step verification process in order to have your account active? Like requiring email and phone number - that might prevent people who have been banned from just making another account, and maybe a deterrent to future inappropriate behavior.
@sunnysideup Good idea, but people can take out multiple email addresses, and buy "burner" mobile phones. I think that's how some people create multiple accounts.
If there was a trusted third-party organisation, it could be asked to verify the person's identity, and issue a unique code number for the CC site ( and a different code number if one was wanted for a different site ). If CC then decided that person was bad, and banned the code, the transgressor wouldn't be able to get another CC-access code from that organisation.
As far as CC is concerned, it would be as valid as Social Security number ( we each only have one ) ; but it wouldn't be traceable back to the person's identity.
The difficulty is always that the more robust the identification, the easier it is to misuse it. As a generalisation : females don't want to be stalked, and males don't want to be "outed" to their coworkers.
I second @Parad0x ’s idea. I’ve got a decent number of people blocked, but in all but a couple of those cases I really just don’t want them in my search results.
@mark I think it's come up before but I think many of us who are mainly focused on cuddling topics would like the ability to mute certain non-cuddling topics from showing up in our forum feed. It'd be great to cut down on the negativity seen in political topics popping up recently as well as all the greedy pros postings that's been a common theme in the pro cuddling section. Thanks so much for the consideration.
I think off-topic threads are OK, as long as the subject line is accurate. Think of the headlines of newspaper articles, allowing you to skim through and be selective. Or magazines on a rack, with accurate titles.
Some threads can though, just drift off, like any conversation ; sometimes in a good way.
I blocked someone expecting the block to not let them tag me but my username still shows up in blue as a link.
Right before I left Facebook in 2018, if I didn’t wanna be tagged, all I had to do was right click on my name and click “remove tag”. My name would not disappear from the post but at least clicking my name would no longer follow a link to my profile. I wish the same were possible on CC.
@mark ~ I think it would be nice if one of the two things happened upon being blocked: 1. An opt-in feature that allowed for a notice when blocked and by who. 2. A drop down reasoning menu for why blocking that would be available to the blocked person so they might learn why/potentially learn from it... Blocking due to: Don't want them in my search results Don't want them viewing my profile Don't like their forum contributions Don't want them contacting me Reason not listed/Other Declined to state
I think the blocking feature is currently only useful against someone sending repeated Private Messages. It's probably important to keep that.
Most people say they just want selective people to be invisible on a search. I think most people who have blocked me are male, and since my profile says only "cuddles women" they wouldn't find me anyway.
I just spotted the "notes to self" feature on a member's page. 👍
I don't know if this is the best place to give this visibility, but @mark can you please add the state next to the city on the message page so that both can be easily selected and searched for time? I used to long-press the state then drag to highlight the city to, then tap the web search button in the pop-up bar then type "time" after the search to see current time for the location. Without the state there and selectable, it's a lot more steps or the city can be in multiple states. Yes I know I can go back to the profile to do that but I usually don't check the timezone until necessary in a message. Thanks
@mark - any possibility of adding an "ignore specific users" function on the forums?
@Sideon It's called "intelligence". Also useful when reading posts, instead of misinterpreting them, then complaining about some imagined meaning.
Most websites allow customers to sign up to "marketing information".
How about a feature by which non-pros can tick a box, saying that they are happy to be contacted by local pros ?
Pros could then know the "dry" areas of the country / world where they could usefully set up, or tour into. Imagine a map of green dots ( clients looking for pros ) and red dots ( pros ), it might save a lot of difficult searching and cold-calling. The map would of course be imprecise, like early GPS signals were degraded for civilian use.
Clients ( / pros ) could set, pros ( / clients ) as "not a good match for me" ; and they would stop appearing on each other's maps.
Clients could similarly know areas of the country where they could usefully visit, perhaps on a long road trip, rather than having to choose a new location and run a search.
@Sideon 👍
It would be very beneficial for Pros & Clients, if there was a calendar on profile that showed the availability of the Pro. Saves time on determining what will work best for both parties. & may encourage more bookings by creating a sense of urgency to get the time slot you want!
Thanks for the consideration!
The following post is the first specific suggestion for improvement to the site to come from a bundle of recent threads. There are many ideas in those threads and further specific suggestions will follow in due course. Most of these ideas are not mine: my contribution has been to combine and crystallise them into a usable form.
GREEN PAPER How to Fix Our Problems
What are some things you would change or do to make Cuddle Comfort better and more enjoyable?
Some Data on Join Dates
How to Fix the Cuddling Community’s Problems
This particular idea was discussed in this thread:
WHITE PAPER I – Improved website useability for dummies
WHITE PAPER I - Improved website usability for dummies
Or
Increasing Revenue and Reducing Harassment by Improving the Distinction Between Professionals and Enthusiasts
Table of Contents Problem – Professional / Enthusiast confusion Solution – Part A – Profile Solution – Part B – Search Implementation, Cost and Timescale Revenue Conclusion
There is considerable anecdotal evidence from the forum that some members confuse Professional and Enthusiast cuddlers. Some men, new to the site, are even unaware that Enthusiast women exist. This gives rise to frequent disturbing events for Enthusiast women. These include questions or remarks that are inappropriate for an Enthusiast; being offered money to cuddle; and, what seems to be the most upsetting, the assumption that an Enthusiast can be ‘booked’. People joining a cuddle website should not face harassment of any kind and certainly not like this.
Furthermore, some prospective Clients for Professionals also have a disappointing experience - they are attempting to pay for cuddling (creating revenue for Cuddle Comfort) and are being rebuffed. Many will obviously find their way to a professional cuddler soon enough, but some will be put off and not return. This problem therefore results in a modest loss of revenue.
This situation arises partly because of preconceptions held by some new members and partly because most new members do not know much about the cuddling community. Although Enthusiast and Professional profiles are distinguished on the site, that distinction does not appear to be clear to everybody who is being presented with all the new iconography of an unfamiliar website.
Professional and Enthusiast profiles are currently identical apart from four details. • Pink professional P or Pro on Professionals’ thumbnail photos • Rate instead of the quote near the top of the profile • Pink Professional button on the profile • The phrase ‘Request to Book’ rather than ‘Send Message’. (The Request to Book and Send Message buttons are identical apart from the wording.)
A two-part solution to this problem is proposed.
1) Profile identification button
At present there are three alternatives for the space below the Age, Gender, Location line on a profile. (If you’d like to remind yourself of how it looks, just click on any suitable profile.)
"I like to cuddle while writing long forum posts.” [blank]
Fee: 80/hour - Can be: Guest, Public Professional (pink button)
"I like to cuddle while reading long forum posts.” Moderator (blue button)
Instead of a blank space underneath the quote, it is proposed that we have a blue button saying either Enthusiast or Buddy or Cuddle-buddy, similar to the Professional and Moderator buttons. This would replace the current system of “negative information” to denote Enthusiast.
Blue is easy because it is the colour currently used for the Moderator button and contrasts well with pink. The Moderator button could remain the same blue, or be changed to a lighter blue, or be changed to a muted green. (Green is not suitable for the Enthusiast button because of the potential impact for people with colour vision impairment.)
The buttons could also be different shapes Perhaps rounded corners for one and square corners for the other.
This button would be a default option, and obviously would be overridden by Professional or Moderator tags.
2) Thumbnail photo
At present, the profile thumbnail photo of an Enthusiast has no text.
It is proposed that an E or Enth or B or Bud or C or C-B (whatever matches the word on the main profile button) should be added in the bottom right hand corner to contrast with the P or Pro. The colour would be blue to match the main Enthusiast button on the profile.
Separately, it is proposed that the P or Pro be replaced with the professional’s headline one-hour rate. The colour would remain pink. Thus, Professional profiles would therefore have numbers and Enthusiast profiles would have letters, which would provide a greater contrast. It also makes the point that some cuddlers charge and some do not, which may be helpful to new members who are not familiar with the terminology.
Separately, it is proposed that these symbols could be moved from the bottom right hand corner to the top left hand corner. This may make them slightly more noticeable.
3) Messaging button
At present, the messaging buttons are all blue although they have different wording. It is proposed that they could be amended to be the same colour as the Professional/Enthusiast button. In other words make the ‘Request to Book’ button pink.
As with the identification buttons they could also be different shapes, rounded corners for one and square corners for the other.
At present, clicking on the magnifying glass icon anywhere on the site takes you to the Cuddlers page. This page has two buttons, whose location varies depending on various factors like zoom level. Firstly, an icon with four squares and the word “Cuddlers”, which brings the table of cuddlers (sorted by last online) to the top. Secondly, another magnifying glass or “Filter” button, which brings up the detailed search function. One of the search function options allows the user to search for Enthusiasts, Professionals, or both. Note that the word Enthusiast is not used, only the word Professional.
Clear as mud? Thought so. If you’d like to take a look at the page itself to remind yourself how it all works, this would be a good moment.
It is proposed that on the Cuddlers page two additional buttons be added: “Professionals Only” and “Enthusiasts Only”. The options would then be:
Four squares / Cuddlers – displays currently selected search results as now.
Magnifying glass / Filter – search function as now
Professionals Only – displays results similar to Cuddlers, except only with Professionals’ profiles
Enthusiasts Only – displays results similar to Cuddlers, except only with Enthusiast results
This would have two advantages. Members would be able to search more easily for their desired audience; and it would make it much more obvious that there are different types of cuddler.
All these proposals can be implemented by site coding changes. There is no external cost, and no regulatory or other consideration. They can take their place along with routine site maintenance and improvement. They could be implemented simultaneously or consecutively in any order. Any of them could be rolled back without much difficulty.
Other than the costs of implementation, these proposals are likely to increase site revenue slightly because prospective Clients who are currently landing on Enthusiasts will be more likely to find themselves in communication with Professionals. Bookings should therefore increase a little. Moreover, the site will become slightly easier to use and navigate and that should also have a minor positive effect overall.
Slight changes in these proposals could be incorporated to help promote site revenue. For example, the button for quick-searching Professionals could have added phrasing such as “including any Professionals currently making special offers”. This button could have preferential placement on the page.
These proposals should have a slightly positive direct impact on site revenue. Hopefully they will reduce the amount of accidental harassment experienced by female members in particular. And by making the site a little more user-friendly they will help everybody, especially new members, find their way around more easily.
@CuddleDuncan , nice work compiling all this! I like the final result.
Thank you @CuddleDuncan
Can you add a filter to filter out Cuddlers that smoke? Personally, I can't cuddle around cuddlers that smoke pot and it would be very helpful to me that there be a filter to sort out those who are 420 friendly
I think there should be a feature to search for text in profiles.
Like if someone writes in their profile they cuddle in a few towns in New Jersey but they will be in New York for a week, you have no way of knowing without a search that can find that in a profile.
Some people visit other states or areas in their state for a time for a vacation or just to travel to meet other cuddlers.
Just a thought!
It would also be useful for a search for hobbies or other text people may want to find maybe related to cuddling.
It is a useful thought.
There is a second location field that people in the situation you describe can use. I think it makes you show up in search results in both areas. It doesn't really help cuddlers going on tour, but it does for just a single trip.
@Gary @Mark
I would take it a step further for travelers. Some sites include a page with upcoming travelers/visitors listed along with their travel dates. This may be useful to help more people plan ahead to connect.
@nycuddlerny You can search profiles in a general kind of way using Google.
For example, to find both enthusiasts and professionals who mention video games in their profile, search for:
site:https://www.cuddlecomfort.com "cuddle buddy in" OR "professional cuddler in" "video games"
This excludes profiles that are marked as private though.
This site is unique. There are many dating sites of many varieties and people have gotten familiar with the whole online dating routine and the goals of dating. Consequently, they think of physical interaction in terms of relationships and they see this site through that prism. But establishing and maintaining relationships is extremely difficult: commitment, marriage, "working at it" bills, divorce, arguing, jealousy, drama, drama, drama. Cuddling by definition is not like that at all. After two people decide they are compatible, the cuddle partners get together and they cuddle. It is peaceful and simple. When the cuddle ends, it is over and hopefully there is a good memory for BOTH. If they never meet again, that is o.k. This is what most can't understand. There has to be a catch. Life if hard. Let's make this hard. Let's play hard to get. Let's troll. Let's display our superiority. Let's say, "Cuddling is not real. We need pain and drama." Well, for some, cuddling is real. We don't want pain, just to cuddle. It's not the site, but that people just don't get it.
Without reading all 58 pages of the comments today 😃, I wonder how many of these suggestions have been implemented. I agree with the OP‘s suggestions of getting rid of the fields for religion, work, car ownership, and maybe even drinking and smoking, and I see those haven’t changed in over four years. Was it determined they should remain?
I don’t care if you drink or smoke (tobacco, cannabis, or otherwise) as long as you don’t smell like those substances and are not under the influence of them during our cuddle session in any way that would prevent you from being in a condition to freely grant consent without subsequent remorse.
I know there is a URL you can use to search all of the discussion posts a member has made (putting the person’s username at the end of that URL), but I keep forgetting what it is, and I think it would be nice if it were simply a link on each person‘s profile.
I think this site would be better if there weren’t so many highly sexualized photos of pros. I don’t think they’re appropriate on a website meant for non-sexual cuddling.
For me it is important to know if a potential cuddler smokes because I am highly allergic to cigarette smells. And it's well known that smokers are often incapable of detecting smells that a non-smoker can. Such smells can stick to clothes or furniture for days or weeks. That being said, however, I believe answering most of the profile questions is optional.