I'm a man who would like to do it professionally, ok with other men but ok to lay down some rules?

brecks

I'm a man who has thought about doing this for some time, need some extra cash right now and think this would be a great way to help others. I know that pro men generally aren't as requested by women as are pro women by men, and I personally am not insecure about cuddling other men, however, I have always considered myself a very dominant man and do not like the idea of certain things that would make me feel not dominant, like being the little spoon. Am I being too inflexible here? I know some people might think this is toxic masculinity, but I am straight male and being in that position for example feels a little too sexual and submissive for me and grosses me out, but the idea of cuddling men does not, even though I am a straight man. Men of cuddlecomfort looking for male providers, is this something you would be ok with?

DaringSprinter

Not a man, but I do have a question.

If being the little spoon feels "a little too sexual" for you, how is it that being the big spoon doesn't?

That's my only concern—obviously you can set any boundaries around your own body you'd like (and speaking as a short individual, I wouldn't mind being the small spoon).

brecks

@DaringSprinter Good question, should have explained in the OP as I wondered if that may come up. As a man I feel that I attach my masculinity to my sexuality (among other things), and being vulnerable/submissive to another man for me negatively affects my masculinity and thus makes me feel more sexually insecure. Or who knows, maybe I'm just subconciously a little bisexual but only prefer more submissive men. I know another question somebody might have is "why is he so concerned about sexuality if he is going to be offering a professional service?" but I think we can all agree that cuddling and sexual thoughts can often go hand in hand but while we can't stop those thoughts we can control what we do with them, and that is what creates a professional boundary.

I do know that I can set any boundary I please, I just wondered if somebody may feel that it's unecessarily unaccommodating.

DaringSprinter

The reasons may sound a little iffy, but frankly they're no one's business but yours. In your shoes, I'd present it as "If you want to be held (rather than doing the holding), come to me." Or something like that.

SuperManCuddles

@brecks Boundaries and preferences may differ from person to person. If you don’t feel comfortable with certain positions, you are not required to do them. It personally would not be a deal breaker for me.

quixotic_life

@brecks ~ I think if you frame this as you being the type who enjoys holding others in a nurturing embrace (such as being the big spoon) you'll apeal to both women, and men, who are looking for cuddler who works to intentionally create a safe space for when they're feeling vulnerable.

Of course I could be wrong, but as a woman, that kind of stance would make me much more likely to hire you than the "only cuddles women" type.

Good luck ~ 🕊

JohnR1972

For what it’s worth, I agree 100% with @SuperManCuddles

I personally don’t have any interest in cuddling another man (no judgment- just something I am not interested in) but I have never associated big spoon vs little spoon with dominance. Whenever I cuddle, I am more frequently the big spoon but not always and I do enjoy being held whether it is laying on a bed or couch or just reclining against my cuddle partner in more of a seated position. But again, it is a matter of personal comfort / preference and nobody should feel compelled to cuddle in any position that makes them uncomfortable for any reason. Just be sure to discuss this topic in advance with potential cuddle partners so you are each aware of the others preferences / boundaries.

Sideon

@brecks - unless you actually sign up to be a Pro here, you won't be "making a little cash." I'll leave this post up, but fair warning this thread may be moved out of the General Forum.

Interesting ideas, that positions denotes submission or dominance. Maybe start with the foundational principle that cuddling is about consent: yours, theirs, and how you navigate those two realities together. Conflating sexuality into the mix does not serve the discussion considering this is all about platonic cuddling.

Sideon

Moving to Professional Cuddling forum.

CuddleDuncan

@brecks

I think we can all agree that cuddling and sexual thoughts can often go hand in hand

I don't. I disagree most emphatically.

I don't have sexual thoughts when I'm cuddling my nieces. I didn't when I was cuddling my cats. During cuddle workshops I never have sexual thoughts. Probably the closest I ever got to cuddling a man was sort of half-hugging my mate when he was crying his eyes out after his dad died. Didn't have any sexual thoughts then either. When cuddling girlfriends and partners I almost never had sexual thoughts because sex and cuddles and kind of opposites: do we want to have sex tonight, or a cuddle?

I've been very fortunate in that my Cuddle Comfort-type cuddling activities have all been with lovely women, both professional and enthusiast. I've had fleeting sexual thoughts on a handful of occasions out of dozens and dozens of cuddling sessions. In the vast majority of sessions nothing like that crossed my mind.

In fact, a detail that's just popped into my head is that I have far more often (proportionately) had sexual thoughts during business meetings than I have during cuddling.

As a young man I would have had had sexual thoughts while cuddling a new girlfriend, but the sexual thoughts would have been there whether we were cuddling or cleaning out a drain. They were nothing to do with the cuddling.

As for the being little spoon, it's up to you what positions you do or do not do during a session, and there is no need to explain. If it comes up you could say something like, "Well, this is your time to feel that you are being cared for by me, that's what a cuddle session is all about. It's hard for me to do that from the little spoon position, so why don't we try XYZ instead?"

In the world of professional cuddling that I first encountered, no professional would have dreamt of being little spoon. Completely inappropriate. So, for a position to not do, you're in good company!

SuperManCuddles

@JohnR1972 Thank you! I 💯 percent agree with your views on cuddle positions and consent. I am mostly the big spoon 🥄 but it also feels great to be held/the other person giving platonic affection (usually this happens due to my cuddles partners request but feels relaxing 😎 too).

Babichev

@brecks - I don’t mean to burst your bubble but I seriously doubt you’re going to succeed as a pro cuddler. You don’t have the right frame of mind and even those who do usually have a difficult time getting clients. I’d suggest you read through all the threads having to do with male pro cuddlers first. And if you still want to give it a try, be sure to apply for and be approved for a professional account before you even hint at asking for compensation for cuddling because that is strictly against the terms of service. If you get suspended for asking for payment before you have pro status that will work against your application.

Not trying to discourage you, just trying to tell it like it is.

If you need extra income right now there are probably other more reliable ways of getting it.

shadow1992

I enjoy being the big spoon and little spoon and I love cuddle therapy because I can make a difference in someone's life and I don't have a problem with cuddling other men I like being held and my hair being played with and the power of consent is always a must its important to respect everyone boundaries