Keeping a cuddling relationship platonic

respectful

A woman told me about a situation where she had started cuddling someone, who felt that if they continued meeting he would basically fall in love with her -- so they stopped cuddling, which was pretty sad for both of them. Neither person was a professional.

She asked: "Please tell me it's possible [to have a cuddle buddy]!! Have you had experience with that kind of thing? They like you too much or vice versa? Can you get past it?"

Any thoughts?

When two human beings know each other more and spend more time together it is possible to develop feelings, but you need to set boundaries in the begning and keep reminding each other time to time that it's only cuddling what they want.
I have many friends who are very close and dear to my heart, they are special to me but I always clerify time to time that we are just great friends.

UKGuy

What's better than falling in love? It's only a problem if it's not mutual. But that situation is not restricted to just the cuddling world. It's universal. And if it's not mutual, which is extremely common, you have to either agree to be just friends, or if that is too difficult, to split up.

cuddlebugTM

Some people don’t know how to be good friends with the gender they are attracted to without turning it into something else . Just because you enjoy spending g time with someone doesn’t mean you should date .

I’ve had many friends I cuddled with that it never became more . They key is both respecting boundaries and being clear about your friendship .

andy8502

andy8502

Interesting excert from the movie when Harry met sally, of course men and women can be friends Harry was wrong ?

pmvines

My whole life my best friends have always been girls and women. There have been times where there has been attraction between us. In fact the first girl I ever fell in love with was my best friend in high school. Sadly she committed suicide. We both grew very close and eventually couldn't ignore our feelings but didn't act on it because we were already both so damaged, and we didn't want to damage what we had. I do believe attraction between friends can be quite normal, its a matter of what you choose to do about it. In the rare instance where anything was acted upon it changed the dynamic and eventually the friendship ended, or diminished , once the relationship or hooking up part ended, which was sad. I fully admit that I am an amazing friend but am a horrible boyfriend, so I would much rather have a friend who loves me than an ex who hates me

ubergigglefritz

@pmvines , first of all, I'm sorry about your best friend from high school =( Suicide is a horribly tragic thing that affects so many people...

Second of all, I feel you on your last sentence. I often feel like I make a better friend than girlfriend, so, single I remain

pmvines

@ubergigglefritz I appreciate the sentiment, it has been a long time and I am at peace with it. I have lost many best friends, souls mates, and lovers from suicide, murder, drugs, fatal accidents, and disease. It is something I have come to learn to cope with. Nothing ever lasts forever.

ubergigglefritz

Appreciate every day... I am lucky to not have experienced too much loss of the human kind, but I did lose one of my closest friends unexpectedly in 2012. He was only 45 years old.

Today I will love you
Today I appreciate
Because today may be our last
And tomorrow I'll just miss you

It requires some amount of self-control. So far, I have not had a cuddle buddy, but I have cuddled platonically with 3 women a couple of times. I developed feelings for all of them at least at some point of time. None of them were even remotely my "type" - it still happened. Thankfully, all of them would be happy to cuddle with me if we meet again (at least I think so!), as I have been able to keep it platonic.

The key phrase here is "self control". Cuddling by its very nature promotes bonding between the 2 (or more!) individuals. So I expected such feelings and prepared for them. I believe that I can also do it with a long term cuddle buddy.

I think it depends on the situation and also the personalities of the people involved. If feelings do get involved, it is important to discuss it with the cuddle partner. It's always important to be very open and honest with your cuddle buddy. That is the key to having a successful and long-lasting cuddle arrangement.

amsmith

I think it also depends on the person. I know for a fact that unless I monitor my thoughts and feelings very closely, I become very attached to people very quickly. Thankfully I have a good bit of introspection and I can do it. A person also usually needs to have a lot of experience with the other gender so they don’t misinterpret anything.

respectful

@amhunt That's a good point about monitoring your thoughts and feelings.

The person I've cuddled the most is a professional who seems to have temporarily disappeared, and I miss her a lot, so obviously there's some level of attachment ... but it's within healthy bounds though. It's OK to miss someone who you've become friends with.

Morpheus

Pretty much every female that I’ve had any type of platonic relationship with eventually tried to take things in a sexual direction. I’m already in a relationship and don’t want things outside of my relationship to escalate to a sexual level. This is why I like pro cuddles so much, they generally respect boundaries.

@Morpheus It is interesting that you've had that experience. Most of my life I've always had guys as friends (and girls too). I never personally had to deal with things progressing past a friendship (unless of course we were both interested, but usually we were both just happy being friends). That would be an awkward situation to be in. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that.

ubergigglefritz

@Morpheus I feel you. I have gotten so frustrated in my life all the times I've merely been friendly and hoping to make a friend, and ending up with a man insisting I'm in denial about our connection and that there's something more we need to become. Sigh. It's hard to find real deep friends as an adult... Platonic cuddling is a great way to have connection and that trusted boundary.

Morpheus

I do have plenty of platonic female friends. I should rephrase my comment. I meant more that any female that I’ve had more of a physical relationship with such as platonic cuddling, want to take things to a sexual level. The good female friends that I have now, beyond hugs, we don’t have a physical relationship. I would love to have more female friends where I can have platonic cuddles with.

@Morpheus Maybe you could look to see if there are any Facebook cuddling groups in your area or even meetup.com groups. I looked today because someone else mentioned it and I found out that there are actually cuddle parties in my area on both Meetup.com and the Facebook groups. It is something to look up. You might find some more cuddle buddies.