This just sounds sad

nene

I just logged on to this website out of curiosity. I read dozens and dozens of comments. It just sounds sad. Why not just go out and join a club or church and meet people the normal way? What kind of people and experiences do you really think you’ll have this way? It’s so desperate. I would no more want to cuddle with a stranger than I would a stray dog.

Cuddling is an intimate thing you share with someone you KNOW. It’s a nonsexual way to share intimacy with someone you care about. How can you do that with a perfect stranger? I get having sex with a stranger more than I do this. At least with anonymous sex you both know exactly what you’re there for. It can only get weird cuddling with someone you don’t know because you can’t really be sure what else they may want.

Go to a bar, get on FB, go on outings with organized groups and find someone that way. This is just too awkward for words.

TangibleTony

Some people don't have time to go to bars and clubs. Some people don't have the money, or whatever means. Some people don't have the courage.

I can't speak for everyone here, but I've gone out every night this week to socialize and meet people. Some people have more than one net cast, so to speak. I'm about to head out the door as we speak.

Lastly, I have a relationship where we don't have the means to be tactile all the time. Sometimes more than one relationship is required to meet someone's needs.

If going out to bars and clubs works for you, that's awesome! But everyone is different.

TT

Brandi

Such a negative perspective to have! Of course everyone has boundaries. And it does take bravery and courage to cuddle a stranger, but in no way is it pathetic or desperate.
Youd just have to try and take a part of the cuddle community to fully understand that, But I don't beleive just anyone can understand.

Hey, I like stray dogs! And non stray dogs appreciate affection too! Bad metaphor; bad attitude!

pmvines

@nene You, like us, are here by choice. You are also welcome to choose to not be here.

Lovelight

lol. I read a few sentences and haven't read anything more ridiculous in a while. Well let me complete the read so I don't jump into my conclusion too quick.

And done the read. Well... how does meeting someone off of here any different from meeting them any other place? One still needs to communicate, practice precautions and develop a connection even if one's best friend introduce the two. Now how fast or slow all this is and can be established is up to the people involved. Sites like this were designed to allow people to be able to express how they feel and what they want since solely relying on just the 'real' world can be difficulty and tedious. Welcome! Hope you come to better understand what this place is really and expand your perspective more.

respectful

@nene Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's always interesting hearing a point of view from the "outside".

It feels very different from the inside.

From my view, it is really quite incredible connecting with a stranger in such a close (and rapid) way. They aren't a stranger any more after we cuddle!

Here are some quotes from people who have had cuddles (from "karma" comments -- a way of giving feedback after a cuddle):

"The experience was peaceful, and made me feel like the world is an okay place to be in."

"My stress melted away. I was energized for the rest of the day, my mood was better and it just left me feeling great."

"The entire time was a supercharged, filled with love and a sense of connection to another human."

"I never imagined it would be possible to feel so comforted and content."

"Being held close was a transformative experience which helped wash away a lot of my pain."

"After our session, I felt nourished: mind, body & soul."

Does any of that sound appealing? If you can get past the awkwardness, the rewards of cuddling are potentially amazing.

respectful

@nene ... and responding to some specific things you said:

"Why not just go out and join a club or church and meet people the normal way?"

We do those things too.

"What kind of people and experiences do you really think you’ll have this way?"

People: open, kind hearted, interesting / fascinating people with all kinds of different life experiences.

Experiences: Intimacy, affection, closeness, feeling valued and accepted, letting my guard down in a safe environment, feeling trusted ...

"How can you do that with a perfect stranger?"

Great question. I can see where you are coming from, but the actual experience of people here is that it is entirely possible to show non-sexual physical affection to someone you have only known for a little while. But note that many people have quite a few chats first to make sure they feel comfortable with each other.

"It can only get weird cuddling with someone you don’t know"

Telling other people how they must feel isn't always the best approach! You are talking to hundreds of people for whom it did not get weird at all, and has been a very positive experience.

Here is a fascinating description of someone's first cuddle who had lots of doubts beforehand -- it might be interesting to read.

UKGuy

@nene - the ways of meeting people you mention still exist but many people nowadays meet online. And today meeting online is no less 'normal' than the other ways, and in fact has certain advantages. You can get to know a person and find out if they have common interests before meeting them, thus saving a lot of time, effort and expense.

ubergigglefritz

I went to my first cuddle party last weekend. Talk about an open, welcoming, and friendly environment... You don't get that at a bar or club, lol. Genuine cuddlers are the best group of people in my experience. There's something about being in an environment without feeling any judgment or expectations. Just be you, and know you will be accepted. That's what I provide my clients. There is a LOT of underlying emotions and expectations in established relationships. There is something amazing about being physically close with someone where all of that is absent.

PinkLipstick22

Honestly, because finding other people who share cuddle interest is a special and wonderful thing. I've met many high quality and really awesome people through my cuddle journey that are either rare or very difficult to spot in a club or bar situation (which I do hit up weekly and more often at my regular haunts for the great music and friends I know there, btw). Of course, not everyone will connect in this way, but personally I find the odds here many times greater than connecting through a dating website or a meetup group, per se.
It's a different thing, and it's special and wonderful to have this resource. I'm sorry you find it "sad", but perhaps widening your horizons would allow more goodness into your life. If not, feel free to do what works for you and those of us who find value in this resource will continue.

Wishing everyone many cuddles this week!

@PinkLipstick22 - Great post! Well said.

PinkLipstick22

@SJSpooner, thank you!

cranefritz

Amazing that in this day and age there's still people willing to spend time to become member of a group only to bash their activities and preferences, especially before actually trying them. That was a thing back in the 1400 and 1500's, but now?

angela10

I wouldn't call it sad. Finding someone that connects with you on different levels and enjoy platonic cuddling is a good thing. It's better than going on dates and ask for a cuddle. Men on dating sites see "cuddle" as a sexual advance. It's great when you do find that perfect platonic cuddle buddy.

@nene I’ve met all different types of wonderful people who use this site for all different reasons. There are those who travel constantly who still would like the chance to cuddle up to someone warm and open. There are people just out of relationships who want and need to be held. I’ve met people from all walks of life, and those who are here seeking genuine comfort seem to find it. I enjoy bringing that to people.

I’m not sure what prompts someone to join a website just to make a forum post about how “sad” everyone there is. Perhaps you could benefit from a snuggle and a little open-mindedness

The way I see it it's a practical issue. If I want a fridge I'm more likely to go to an appliance store than IKEA. Because sure, IKEA might have some kitchen ware, but there's no guarantee it'll be what I'm looking for and there's less choice when it comes to my final purchase.

When I browse the members on this site I know that they're all looking for the same general thing as me. If I went out to a bar I know most people there would be looking for sex if anything. As for church and hobby groups, I don't for one second diminish their value, however they don't exactly seem ideal for striking up that initial conversation of wanting physical affection. It also sounds like you're confusing cuddling with wanting a SO, which isn't the case. I'm not looking for a romantic or sexual partner and that is all I would get if I were to pursue this in most public arenas.

Also, messaging random people on Facebook, I would argue, is sadder. Because at least the people on here are advertising their desire for cuddles. Hitting up random strangers who are just trying to exist would be creepy.

I just read your comment, and it sounds so sad. I don't understand how you can go out to a church or club and talk to complete strangers. Why can't you meet people on the internet the normal way, and get to know them gradually before meeting in person?

im800mhz

What I call sad is registering on a forum and then bashing what interests those members have and share in common. The only thing sad is the OP, which to me says "troll".

If cuddling isn't for you, why would you even bother coming here? Practice what you speak to others.

Lovelight

Right y'all.

Morpheus

OP is a troll, no doubt. I agree with the Bigbossman

Sideon

"This is just too awkward for words."

And yet, you said so much.

Mike403

Well... because cuddling with a dog and being licked and slobbered on just doesn't do it for me.

pmvines

Free to come, and free to go

Well I'm actually not looking to meet anyone. I'm just here to give casual hugs, snuggles, and cuddles to people. I think that hugs and so on have a therapeutic element to them. Sometimes people just need a hug because they are going through a hard time. It's great that this site can be a resource for people who need that form of support.

alexb2

@nene "Why not just go out and join a club or church and meet people the normal way?" Internet dating has been a thing for over 20 years now. Your basic statement is absurd, if you think all life activities have to be done face to face, you are missing out on a lot of opportunities. People use computers or phones to arrange meets, because its quick, easy, saves travel time and cost, helps weed out creeps, and often allows you to filter out unsuitable people with the minimum of drama. I know this is not a dating site, and is a more niche activity, but surely you can see the benefits arranging meets over the internet brings.

Sashamcgee

Hmm very interesting to take the time to tell an entire website full of people who love to cuddle that they are sad because of it .... next you should join fetlife and tell them how awkward it is that they like bdsm or foot play. Or you could join a dating site and message everyone and tell them it's sad they are looking for love on the internet. Oooooor you could have kept your opinions to yourself or at least not on here!

Happy cuddling ?

pmvines

What the above young lady said multiplied by 3

angela10

@Sashamcgee well said!