Provocative photos in profiles

I came across a blog post by @HugsFromFei called Why Keeping it Platonic Counts.

Some quotes:

To us, G-rated doesn’t simply mean that nothing overtly sexual occurs, but that even the intention, and energy of the space does not have a hidden or underlying erotic tone.

Our marketing seeks to be exceedingly clear about the platonic nature of our work. We use terms like “affectionate”, “warm”, “nurturing”, “soothing”, “relaxing”, instead of “desire”, “exciting”, “sexy”, “attractive” or “romantic” -- see the difference? All this to make sure that we are on the same page regarding what our service entails.

Personally I really appreciate that kind of emphasis. Something I love about platonic cuddling is that it is safe; it's a precious thing to have an environment of closeness, intimacy and affection with no sexual overtones at all.

All that to say ... think carefully about the message your profile photo might give people. If it features a lot of cleavage, visible underwear, etc. (or bare chests for men), it starts to wander away the "platonic" realm.

My own reaction to those kinds of photos is sometimes: "In spite of how beautiful they are, I would hesitate to cuddle that person," just because of the kind of message it gives.

I suspect sometimes professionals might be wanting to attract more clients by using these kinds of pictures, but the clients they attract might not be the most desirable kind anyway if what drew them was the suggestion of something sexual.


  • I’m no professional, nor have I sought any, but I have actually said no to people before the convo started due to shirtless pictures.

  • @respectful - I agree with you 100%, and I wish that this site was more diligent about prohibiting overtly sexual photos such as you've described. I've noticed boudoir photos and provocative photos by women that are definitely sexual, even if no excessive cleavage is showing, and regardless of what they are wearing. The sexual intent is still obvious. Shirtless men are prohibited from cuddling, so allowing men to post shirtless photos sends a mixed message. I really wish such photos would be prohibited on here.

  • [Deleted User]GameStriker4481 (deleted user)
    edited April 2018

    Yeah I agree, people need to be more mindful in the photos they post.

  • edited April 2018

    On the flip side, I am drawn to photos of people who look warm, friendly, open, kind etc.

    People can look inviting without having to be provocative!

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)
    edited April 2018

    I have a picture where I am snuggling one of my cats. Hopefully that doesn't come off the wrong way. I just wanted to show myself in my natural cuddling environment. :p

  • @MoonlightSonata That pic just makes you (and the cat) look like nice and relaxed. :)

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @respectful Thank you for taking the time to look. I am glad that it gives off a vibe of being calm and relaxed. That was what I was going for. And also to show that most of the time I am at home snuggling with my cats. :)

  • @amhunt - I'm with you on that one. There's one guy who has posted a pic of himself from the neck down in a bathrobe. Creeepy!!!

  • @BlueIris Perhaps he is attempting to market his personal line of menswear?

  • @BlueIris That is too creepy. Like ew. Like a onesie is acceptable, shows a sense of humor! Not a bathrobe!

  • I agree (and fei is awesome). Profile photos should have nothing to do with being sexy or showing cleavage. I need to get new photos, but at least mine isn't currently attracting too many of the wrong type of people :-P lol. I want to be very careful so my new ones emote openness and comfort, without any of those sexual undertones :-P

  • Ehm....I just saw two profiles from newbie men at a beach setting so they were shirtless.
    Still...why from the 100s of pictures that a person has of himself, why would someone pick that as a profile picture?

    I would not cuddle a person with a profile pic like that just because it makes me doubt their intentions.

  • A new pro told me 2 of her pics were flagged and removed. I remember the pics and they weren’t bad at all.

  • edited April 2018

    @Spongymarble - there is a new profile of a lady in a two-piece bathing suit, so if shirtless men at the beach are to be questioned so should women in bathing suits. Also, I think it's a big assumption that everyone has 100's of photos of themselves to choose from. Personally, I have less than half a dozen recent photos of myself as I am not into selfies.

  • I don't have pictures of myself either, but I still picked a picture in real clothes :-) But even still, I have received comments for not having such a good picture :-P

  • @UKGuy I do question the women who do that as well! I didn't report any bathing suit pics to be fair. I just wouldn't cuddle with peeps who present themselves like that.

  • edited April 2018

    @BlueIris "I've noticed boudoir photos and provocative photos by women that are definitely sexual, even if no excessive cleavage is showing, and regardless of what they are wearing."

    Yeah, it's more about intent ... there are bathing suit photos that I actually think are fine, because there's nothing too sexual being broadcast. It's just good to think about how it will be interpreted.

    I hope this thread doesn't make people feel paranoid about their photos! It's usually pretty obvious what people are trying to communicate.

  • I go to the beach all summer long. Families with kids all around. Womem in one piece and bikini bathing suits with their kids, men in bathing suits, some in t shirts, most without, especially in the water. Not a hint of sexuality anywhere, unless a bunch of singles are in a secluded spot soaking up some sun, discretely.

    I guess it's a matter of perspective and your POV on what's provocative and what's not.

  • Still not really appropriate for this purpose..

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