Video: How to Cuddle With a Girl

For those of you who are new to cuddling and perhaps a bit nervous about what to expect, here's a video demonstrating some good cuddle positions.


  • Thanks @BlueIris
    As someone that's pretty rusty this was very helpful.

  • edited June 2018

    The cuddles were good, but I thought the message was a bit off, especially for people seeking cuddle buddies for platonic or low-pressure cuddling. There's this pick-up-artisty vibe that unfortunately seems to be the default for men giving men advice about women: you have to know how to do it "properly" to "build attraction" using your "moves." Big spoon is more "masculine"? Lol. Right, you have to make sure you are telegraphing enough masculinity if you want to cuddle with a girl. Better watch more videos.

    Tangent: I happen to love being little spoon, and the women I've met tend to love being big spoon; go figure. Being held in someone's arms can be protective or nurturing for the person being held, or even comforting for the person doing the holding, like holding a teddy bear. Many women have gifts of nurturing to give that the men in their lives have not been willing to receive. Go figure. So, a woman spooning a man can be a gift to both (as can a man spooning a woman, or an anything spooning an anything).

    Saying that the goal is to "touch as much as possible" is kind of silly/cute/sweet/adorable if you have two people who are both very cuddly and comfortable with each other, and you can both acknowledge to each other, "hey, it feels great when our bodies are in contact, how can our bodies be in even more contact?" :D The way you cuddle should be based on what you both want; it should be mutual and natural, not unilateral and based on what some guy on the Internet said women like or something. How about asking your partner what they want? If you don't know someone very well, or either of you is uncomfortable for any reason, or your friend or partner is not as cuddly as you, then going for a tighter embrace or pulling someone's legs onto your lap without asking is not going to create increased intimacy.

    If you are truly new to cuddling, focus on building comfort and connection. Ask permission before doing things. Share vulnerably and authentically (e.g. if you are nervous, say you are nervous). Be curious about your cuddle partner; ask what they like, what their past experiences with cuddling have been... stuff like that. Show that you are a human being who sees them as a human being, and that you are safe. Practice giving your partner what they want, and receiving what you want.


  • I liked the video and thought it was useful. I also thought @frankparker9 made some great points about it, and I agree with his criticisms.

  • ... I don't think these cuddles are good for a platonic vibe. these seem more like when, I quote: after you've had sex or going to sleep.

    the whole bedroom setting is way more intimate as well. no problem with the couch poses though. very doable and... I guess, even natural.

  • People need this...? I thought cuddling was one of those things that everyone just “got”, instinctively.

  • The three positions are basically my main starters when new folks cuddle with me. The closeness of course is often requested and these three positions are great for it plus some others I can think of as well. Great video!

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