Summary of a video by @HugsFromFei (from a blog entry at Cuddle Santuary).
A skilled client:
1) Is aware of their expectations, wants & needs.
Sometimes the expectations we have aren't realistic; for example, that the person providing a service can read our minds. If we are aware of what we really want and can communicate that, then it increases the odds of finding what we are looking for.
2) Is thoughtful when choosing a service provider.
A skilled client looks deeper than what is most convenient, most accessible and cheapest. They might experiment or interview several people until they find the right fit - because they believe that there is somebody out there who has what they need.
3) Educates themselves and asks questions.
Instead of just believing the service provider knows best, a skilled client takes the experience into their own hands. I love it when a potential client interviews me as well, because I know that they are empowered and we can meet where we intersect - I know that they're going to get what they want.
4) Is able to adjust the service provided.
An inexperienced client might tolerate whatever they are given, assuming it is the best they can get; perhaps blaming themselves or the provider for not getting what they actually want. A skilled client looks at the provider as a collaboration partner, making requests and giving plenty of feedback so that adjustments can be made.
5) Trusts the practitioner's expertise and can let go and let in.
This is about allowing yourself to be vulnerable and really receive. The ability to receive is a skill, which involves willingness to feel needy in the moment and not being embarrassed that the session is all about you.
On the other hand, for some people the feeling that there is a reciprocal connection is what is most important.
6) Is comfortable with the client/practitioner relationship.
A skilled client understands that the agreement that exists between client and provider is actually a gift: for example, with a therapist the client doesn't have to work to make themselves likeable or interesting; it is the therapist's job to give them attention and acceptance.
This includes seeing the provider as human and making room for their limitations.
7) Knows how and when to schedule future sessions.
Experienced clients don't feel embarrassed about the frequency (or infrequency) of sessions.
8) Knows how/when to terminate the service.
A skilled client can thank the provider and end the service for whatever reason without embarrassment. A good practitioner is going to celebrate the fact that they know what they want and doesn't want to hold them back.
So that makes me a semi-skilled client.
I still find it hard to describe in words what feels nicest to me. I can give feedback OK, but I also don't want to sound critical by correcting someone too much if they're not getting it ...
I think a skilled client is considerate of the fact that we have a life outside of cuddling, and a 1st time request may not get scheduled the same day. We may not see the request in time, the client needs to be patient and keep communication in messages, at least let us know if no longer need to schedule.
when I look at this list, I can think of a few in mind i have had the pleasure to cuddle with that can match most of these on the list. if not all on the list. what a humbling thought.