Horrible First Messages and Why You Didn't Like Them

BlueIris

A common theme on CC is frustration expressed by those who message a lot of people and don't get replies. Equally common are complaints about horrible first messages. If you're writing first messages like these, this may be why you're not getting any responses.

Post your most memorable horrible first messages you received on here and why you didn't like them.

Here's one I got a few months ago and needs no explanation: "Hello my beautiful Queen. I would like to talk sexy if you don't mind." Well, I did mind. I reported him, and he was banned.

pmvines

F--k You Mother F----r!!!!!
That one was in response to a comment i made on the forum he didn't care for. He blocked me as well lol

CuddleStella

Not a horrible first message but really strange when i got a first message from somebody who just said

I might get erection due to cuddling is it normal becuase it feels me shy

and nothing after that.

also as a pro, it's offputting when folks message "i don't plan on booking you because i don't pay for cuddles but i just wanted to say you're cute/gorgeous/HOT!" and then also "wanna hang out sometime? (outside of a scheduled/booked time) i just wanna get to know you. can i have your [social media] username?"

CuddleStella

also, i'm not too keen on anything reminiscent to "whats up/how's it going beautiful?"

makes me feel like i'm being pursued as a date, not as a professional cuddle service provider. lol

SnugglewithSam

Honestly getting "Hey how's it going" is actually quite common for me and it's my least favorite because it often produces the hardest conversations for me to run with. And to me I don't like responding to that because it usually means they saw my picture and decided to put the minimal amount of effort into reaching out (and it feels like it's a mass reach out). Conversations starting out like this are not fun or memorable for me. Even just reaching out with a "I'd like to have a session with you" is easier to make a good conversation from than this (and not just because they want to work with me).

Also, usually if I get a "Hey how's it going" as a first message it usually means that I have to do the legwork of starting the conversation with someone I know nothing about but has raised their hand to wanting to talk to me. This is hard to do as many profiles also have nothing in them-- no picture, no bio, nothing-- so I can't even look at them and start my end of the conversation with something interesting and memorable about them.

I would much rather you read my profile and ask me a question about it/make a kind comment about it OR if you were considering a session with me to just answer the questions I ask you to in my profile so we can start a conversation. I'm happy to chat (even if I can't be super regular about it, I'm pretty busy these days but I try to be responsive as much as possible), but I need more to go off of than a "Hey how's it going." We all have more interesting things to say than that here. Even a "Hey you seem interesting what got you to start cuddling?" is a better starter.

AndiCuddles

I don’t have a ‘specific’ worst first message, but there are 3 things I don’t care for (note: I’ll still respond, but it puts me a little on guard) —

1.) Calling me ‘sweetie,’ ‘darling,’ ‘gorgeous,’ and the like. For older men, I give them a little bit of a pass because I understand that that was more common and more acceptable in the past. But it either makes me feel like I’m being hit on OR that I’m serving someone coffee in a southern diner. Both just feel odd to me.

2.) Anything about my body. I have up VERY recent pictures (all but my tatto pic is under 3 months old) and I update them frequently. I don’t want to hear how hot I am. I don’t want you to ask if my pictures are ‘real.’ I don’t want you to ask my weight. I realize that a big factor for many people who hire me is my pictures. And I respect that — I respect it by having good, but legit pictures of me on my profile. So, in general, I know if you’re contacting me you quite probably find me attractive (or at least not hideous). But commenting on my body from the get-go makes me feel like an object. There are far more interesting things about me than this flesh-prison that I’ve been assigned. ?

That being said, I don’t mind comments that say something like, ‘You have a very kind-looking face.’ Because I think that says something about my personality. And it says something about my personality which makes me good at my job.

I also don’t mind when a client genuinely gives me a non-creepy compliment during a session. Things like, ‘Your hands are so soft!’ Or, ‘Wow, you have really blue eyes!’

So, I’m not anti-compliment. But there’s an acceptable way to do it — one that makes me feel like a unique person and not an object.

3.) I don’t love it when the first message contains major abbreviations. For example, I’ve gotten the message, “hru?” Please write at least a sentence! Abbreviations are fine later when we might be short on time. But for a first message... well, it gives me the impression that you’re about to waste my time.

BlueIris

@AndiCuddles - I don't like the "sweetie" stuff, either, coming from an unknown man. It's very telling about what kind of manners they have, and it's condescending unless, like you said, you're in a diner! (I have no problem with a waitress calling me sweetie!) Not a single one of my good clients or guys who I met on here and ended up as friends behaved that way in their first messages. Do these guys greet a new female doctor that way?

I don't buy "it's a Southern thing," either. All the true Southern gentlemen I know don't call women they don't know "sweetie." Once you get to know me, you can use all the terms of endearment you want. It's just not good, coming from a stranger.

I also prefer complete sentences.

mickcuddle

@AndiCuddles Apropos of almost nothing, a comment. When I was a young adult, and a fifty year old waitress called me “Honey,” I found it highly disturbing. Now as I approach 70 years, when. 24 year old server in a restaurant (they do seem to be younger these days) calls me “Honey,” I’m impressed that she is speaking to me in a friendly way.

AndiCuddles

@mickcuddle That's so funny because I can totally understand your perspective -- yet at the same time, I have almost the opposite reaction! When I was younger it seemed more innocent to me, but now that I approach 40, I feel like it is either overly-intimate or a bit of a pejorative disguised as a compliment!

mickcuddle

@AndiCuddles That may be a gender thing. At my favorite neighborhood breakfast - lunch place, most everyone calls me by my first name. A couple of the servers call me Honey or Sweetie once in a while. But there’s a 22 or so year-old body builder type with heavy fake silver chains around his neck, sometimes a host, sometimes a busser, (looks more like a bouncer) who calls me Chief. He gave me a really odd look when I called him Bruiser.

Well I haven’t received any horrible first message as of yet.. but not sure if no response to a greeting if considered as horrible response than I had couple of those . Including one instance where I saw myself being blocked too .. Since then I have further improvised on my greetings or connects as I or for that matter anyone would not want to even unknowingly hurt anyone with loose words

cuddlerforu24

Not a first message but it was close enough .
The Cuddler wanted a photo

So I sent one

“ OH NO !” “ that’s too far away I can’t see you “

“Closer”
“ CLO......SER”
“ come closer to the camera ,let me see you!”

I though Hannibal lecter was talking to me , and I was a young Jodie foster.
I didn’t like it too much I thought the Cuddler was going to silence me like a little lamb I was wondering .

waywardchild80

Here's one for you:
"When can we get together?"
Nothing else just that. I also get tired of the "how are you" type messages that @SnugglewithSam mentioned.

rob241

"Hey can I have your e m a i l so we can take this to specific contact"