When not to report and how to report more effectively

edited February 2019 in General

As many of these seem to happen fairly often, I've decided to make a list of some of the things people are reported for that aren't report worthy followed by a few things to help @Mark and I out in certain circumstances when making a report.

When not to report someone:

  1. Messaging a member (Pro and non-Pro alike) that never responds or doesn't respond instantly. This does not mean they are a fake account or that it is harassment or discrimination. No member is required to respond to messages as everyone is free to choose whom they wish to respond to. Everyone has lives outside of the site and even Pro aren't monitoring their accounts 24/7 though many generally have regular check-in times once a day, once every other day, or sometimes multiple times throughout the day. Messaging a member followed by stalking their profile to check their last login to see if they've checked for your message is creepy. If you do this and then get upset and report them for not responding after you see they've logged in recently your report will be dismissed. Unless you've booked a session and they are late for it, they will respond when they are able to.

  2. Members (Pro and non-Pro alike) that don't respond yet haven't logged in for months are not fake accounts. Some people come to the site to check it out and then never return instead of deactivating or deleting their account. Yes, by default members do get emails when someone has sent them a message on Cuddle Comfort which some will return to check them out while others ignore them.

  3. New Pros may get flooded with welcome messages from 1-to-several pages worth of members all messaging within hours or minutes of being listed. That said, established Pros may also have members they regularly meet with or talk with and come back to the site with pages of new messages as well.

  4. Creating a new account to report someone followed by then deleting the new account is the fastest way to have a report dismissed. While each report is handled with the same weight as the rest, making a dummy profile to report someone and delete that profile then holds no weight on what's being reported.

  5. Getting a rude response from a member after asking inappropriate questions is not harassment on their part. Conversations are kept on the site for a reason and are personally checked by myself or Mark during investigations. If explicit language is being used and site rules are being broken though, please report them for an investigation to be started into the matter.

  6. A member visiting your profile is not harassment. Simply viewing another member's profile once or twice is not cause to report someone for harassment. Someone repeatedly viewing your profile yet never messaging you is creepy though.

  7. Members not listed with a Professional tag on their profile are not bound by the Pro Cuddler Contract meaning that if you set up a session with them and pay for a motel/hotel to meet and they don't show, while it is rude, we cannot force them to reimburse you.

  8. Pros requesting or requiring deposits in advance aren't all scammers. While I won't say all aren't as some do make it that far to get a Professional tag, Pros stating that they require a deposit can be for a number of reasons. For some it's how they ensure a potential Client is serious about holding a session date/time they may otherwise be able to schedule with someone else and don't want to risk losing money if you don't show -OR- they've had issue(s) with you in the past about cancelling and still want to book with you yet are being cautious about booking with you -OR- they could require it of all first-time cuddlers (first time seeing them) or new site members who have no photo and limited-to-no information about themselves filled out on their profile.. again doing so as a precaution to being stood up. When in doubt, best to check for Karma to show they have met with other members as we do not verify or do background checks on any site members. We have seen a trend of scammers though that state requiring half of a typically $100-180/hour session fee paid via iTunes gift cards or the like and these members should be reported as scammers.

When reporting someone:

  1. If you are going to report a member that has managed to bypass a ban, please be sure to include what their previous username was or roughly what you think it was to help us out in confirming. We do a number of bans daily and while some faces may look familiar, what username they went by isn't always something that can be recalled and can take awhile to dig through accounts to find this info.

  2. If communication does leave the site and a member begins making non-platonic requests or statements or they are sending inappropriate photos to you, please do not delete the messages as screenshots of these will need to be submitted upon request when you report someone. This is why communication should remain on the site as this then takes time to paused the investigation to request and then wait for the evidence to be submitted. Members quick to try taking communication off-site to email, text, kik, snapchat, etc... tend to have non-platonic reasons for doing so and think that by taking communication off-site fast means they can then talk freely. Also, CuddleComfort is a website.. not an app. Any member saying the "app" isn't working for them followed by proceeding to give another means to message is trying to take communication off-site in a way they think is clever. We've had members that try to collect girls' phone numbers and then harassing them by doing this trick or by saying they want to book a same-day session with a Pro.

Finally, false reports, while the site doesn't currently have site guidelines on this topic, I have seen plenty of members report others on a wide range of ridiculously fake to serious allegations simply because another member chose not to respond to their messages or, after multiple messages exchanged, decided they didn't want to speak with them anymore for one reason or another and not all of them where for negative reasons but sometimes for personal ones. Nothing will make a moderator want to ban a member more than someone who deliberately makes false reports thinking they'll get someone banned when none of the site rules have been broken and has therefore wasted our time.

Ending this on a positive note though, thank you to those that do report members who either aren't suited for this site or are otherwise breaking the site rules. All of you are who help keep this site the way it is and for those who strive to use it as intended! So a big thank you to all of you and keep up the awesome work!

«1

Comments

  • edited September 2018

    Getting a rude response from a member after asking inappropriate questions is not harassment on their part.

    I would go further and say getting a rude response for whatever reason is not report worthy. You should just block them.

    I'm tempted to remove the 'Harassment' option and let people choose 'Other' instead. I think too many people see that option and assume personal squabbles or general rudeness should be reported.

  • Thanks for the guidelines! While one of my requirements for booking is a phone call/ video chat I always text prior to it so I have a “paper trail.” Also, I really appreciate you bringing up the deposit issue. This is something that I am beginning to implement with new clients. I only schedule one client per day so if that person fails to show it not only ruins my day but takes the chance away from someone else having the opportunity to schedule that day. I have even offered to apply the no show fee towards a future session. I feel like this policy helps to put us in a more professional light. If you have a hair/dr/ therapy/dentist appt and don’t show, you are charged. I want my time to be as respected as any others. Thanks so much moderators!

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    What about Pro’s that bail?

  • @Spoonie Yes, pros are people too. So bail they will. If practical, I have one or two backup pros with whom I will communicate (not scheduling though. That would not be right). to increase the chance of having a session.

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    I understand. But you missed my point. Some pros expect compensation for last minute cancellations. But if a pro bails, there is no compensation.

    I get it. Life happens. I’ve been cancelled on three times at the (almost) last moment. One time I was already in the car. I never made an issue of it and I eventually cuddled with all three.

    Ive been fortunate in that the women I have connected with here have been terrific. But there are a vocal few on this site who loudly proclaim their rights yet struggle to see anything from the other side.

  • edited September 2018

    If a pro bails you are not out potential money whereas if you bail on a pro she is out potential money (as well as the site as they take a cut). I think that is why there is no compensation as a customer. And if you pay for a room or whatever then that is on you I suppose. However I believe the original post addresses this is something you can report unless I misread it.

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    How do you know what Im out? How do you know what I did to make time for a cuddle that is cancelled. The answer is you don’t.

  • edited September 2018

    @Spoonie @pmvines In the Pro Cuddler Contract under the Cancellation Policy it states:

    1. If you cancel within 24 hours we ask that you offer the Client compensation in the form of a discount for their next session with you.
    2. If you cancel within 24 hours and your session includes a rental space arrangement prepaid for by the Client, we ask that you pay the full price of that rental cost. In the reverse scenario we ask the same of the Client in order to compensate you.

    The reason why it says "we ask that you offer the Client compensation in the form of a discount" is because while Cuddle Comfort is meant to bring Pros and Clients together, Pros are still only contracted to certain guidelines to using the site for conducting their business and us dictating their pay rate or forcing a discount isn't something we can tell them to do.
    And to clarify about the statement of rental space reimbursement.. this is if the space (hotel, motel, clubehouse, etc..) being rented was solely intended for the session. It does not mean if you are traveling and will already be staying at a hotel/motel and would otherwise already be paying for the place.

    Other than that, @pmvines had it partially correct with:

    If a pro bails you are not out potential money whereas if you bail on a pro she is out potential money (as well as the site as they take a cut).

    EDIT:
    And to add to the other side of the statement.. I have been cancelled on and ghosted by a couple Pros. It's not a great feeling as I like to ensure that my home is presentable and will spend hours making sure it looks well enough for a visitor so they feel comfortable and while I'll have things in order regardless if the session happens or not, it can be a lot of work on the Clients' side for those that do the same. When traveling, I like to get a decent hotel if I'll be hiring a Pro so they are comfortable coming to the place. Traveling or not though, I arrange plans so that I'm not in a rush to go or do anything else but can simply enjoy the cuddle session. So if a Pro should cancel last minute or not show, simply put it hurts as it was something greatly being looked forward to.

  • @Spoonie: I understand your point of view perfectly. I have been jilted last minute more than once. But I don’t believe that there is any way we can be recompensed for our loss of time and effort.

    And @pmvines There is a considerable expense in just planning for a session from a client point of view, especially if one takes time from work (which is usually the case for me).

    I believe, though, that there is no sympathy for the buyer. It’s similar to going to the store to buy something and finding that it’s out of stock. Can we ask for a concession of some sort? Not really. The only thing we can do is report it (complain) if we believe we have justification, I suppose.

    Fortunately I have found wonderful reliable pros that make up for it. Even among favorites, though, some can require more effort to schedule than others. I could report her. But I opted for patience. And I received a wonderfully rewarding cuddling session.

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    Right. Sounds great. I cant say it never happens. Ive never had it offered to me.

    As for what pmvines had “partially correct”, I guess the other side of it is he had it partially wrong. ?

  • I suppose 50 percent right is better than 100 percent wrong. I'll take it!

  • [Deleted User]Wine66 (deleted user)

    Thanks for the reporting guidelines update.

  • edited September 2018

    Being new someone (who has quite a bit of karma) asked what happens to their deposit if I should cancel. If I CANCEL you get 100% of your deposit back. If YOU CANCEL within 24 hours of cuddle you get 100% of your deposit back. If I have to cancel last minute whether its 1 min or 24 hours my client will be compensated because that is taking the time from them to look for another cuddler and its just the right thing to do. I tried to put myself on the clients side and out of respect for someone that has chosen me to cuddle with, I don't want them walking away thinking they lost out on something, I want to make it right, and fair and I hope to cuddle with them in the future.

  • Hey @reurbo this is a helpful post. What's your feeling on suspicious or possibly fake profiles that aren't blatantly wrong? For example, that long run of six or seven different tall, young Native American veterinarians from tiny Simpson, Louisiana that we had.

    I recently reported a profile because it had a picture lifted from multiple porn sites, along with plagiarized text in the "About" section. It was a whole block of text that you see everywhere: "My friends think that I am a curious, faithful, thoughtful and intelligent person. I’m a very outgoing person. It will never be boring for my beloved to be next to me. I am a positive and friendly person. " A Google search of the quoted text will show you how widespread it is.

    This morning, a new profile appeared here with that exact same text. Nothing overtly wrong with the profile itself. Worth bringing up for closer scrutiny? Person could be a fake, or just a real person who is not very original. ;-)

  • If we see a client that isn't a Professional, but they've listed their rates and hourly requirements such as discounts for more hours or mention clients pay for hotel rooms, do we report them or ask why they're charging for sessions if they are not a professional on the site?

  • @quietman775 if there is a reasonable suspicion of a fake or scam account, or series of accounts, then please report the profile to let us check if those suspicions are valid. Majority of those profiles that have a stolen photo and the copy/paste About Me are profiles of people no where near where they say they are and are banned.

    @SunnySmileGirl please report any member listing their rates, either on their profile or in messages, that isn't listed with the Professional tag on their profile. We confirm the report before temporarily suspending their account with instructions on how to apply to be listed as a Pro and, if approved, their account has the suspension removed and they are listed with the Professional tag.

  • @Spoonie I’m sorry to hear that you have had any bad experience with pro, much less more than one. I can only speak for myself but I do offer compensation for canceling. I currently don’t live alone and if it happens that my roommate is ill and therefore home that day I have to cancel. I always offer to either come to them or reschedule and offer extra time free of charge. I also understand that life happens. I don’t always ask for compensation for missed appointments, this is more so something I put in place for new clients as we’ve not yet developed a relationship yet. I do know that quite often my clients will take time off work to see me and I appreciate that. I believe everyone’s time is valuable and should be respected as such. I hope you can find some reliable cuddle buddies!

  • [Deleted User]JinxedT (deleted user)

    If a pro does not turn up for an appointment without notice, is this grounds for reporting.
    This happened me with CrystalChanel, who I suspect is not a genuine cuddler and possibly a man masquerading ( they avoided taking calls and when there was finally an answer it was a mans voice). I did report to the website, but got no notice back. I appreciate your thoughts

  • I unfortunately had to cancel last minute on a client due to business matters. I offered him a full hour free to make up for his time lost. He was very happy to know that I would even consider offering him free time and attempted to pay. I refused and let him know that this is how it should be. Money and time loss on my side, but it was worth my time to give him the make up for the last minute cancellation on my part and loss of his time for keeping the appointment.

  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)

    @Suzanne I wouldn’t say it was a bad experience, but rather a delayed good cuddle. I have had a few last minute cuddles but every one of them was rescheduled. I understand that life happens and my feeling at the time was each cancel was legitimate. No extra time was offered or asked for. But each cuddle was enjoyable.

    The larger point I was making is that it is a two way street. A few posters here insist on being paid but arent as interested in compensation for the man if they cancel. They better solution is to be a little more understanding of each other. A delayed cuddle is much better than a partial payment and a lost customer.

  • @Spoonie , I agree completely!

  • [Deleted User]Keira (deleted user)

    @reurbo and @Mark I'm a new professional cuddler, Can I message one of you with questions?

  • I haven more no shows then cancellations without apology or notifications. This cuts into my career schedule. The time I cut out of my daily work schedule, tome for prep (run home, shower before every cuddle, clean sheets, turn on air, prep cuddling area, brush teeth) is additional time plus post cuddle, shower etc. I don’t like carrying around a persons scent even if they smell great. So for a 1 hour cuddle, it’s two hours out of my day.
    Last minute cancellations or no shows affect me. Mostly happens with newbies and first timers.
    I’ve only had to cancel once and I offered free session time. He was happy and tried to pay but I refused.

  • @JinxedT It looks like you worked out whatever the misunderstanding was with CrystalChanel, seeing as how you left her 5-star karma a month ago. That's good. Since you can no longer edit your earlier post on this thread, maybe it would be good form to post an update retracting your suspicions that she is not a real person or is perhaps a man masquerading. Just a thought.

  • I felt bad when I reported someone and y’all needed the screenshots. Because kind of reactionarily I had deleted the offending messages off my phone. Like “eww gross my eyes get it away” kind of thing. Now I know to screenshot first, but thanks so much for taking the time to try to start looking even if I messed up it actually working.

  • is there any reason why we wouldn't be able to karma someone we cuddled with the system isn't giving me the option also we are friends on cc website and have talked so it should be a option

  • One reason may be the amount of msgs on the site between you and the other person. You have to have a minimum of 3 each between you in order to enable the karma button.

  • [Deleted User]curiousgeorge1 (deleted user)

    Better to always err on the side on the side of caution and report anything questionable. Let Mark sort it out.

  • I report the second anything sexual is implied or mentioned. No hesitation. I don't put up with it.

  • @curiousgeorge1 - "Better to always err on the side on the side of caution and report anything questionable. Let Mark sort it out."

    Yeah, I'm kind of feeling the same way. I just went through this about a guy who contacted me who has a diaper fetish. I vacillated between reporting or not and then decided to do it, simply explained exactly how the conversation went, and I trust that Mark will know how this needs to be handled. No freakout, no accusation, just the facts. The TOS clearly state that indulging a fetish while cuddling is a violation.

This discussion has been locked.