How do you handle safety?

Worthy

I’m still pretty new. What information do you feel is reasonable to ask for before meeting someone? For me it especially applies if someone has no picture and very minimal information on their profile. I definitely want to chat with them to feel the vibe but for me so far, I think it’s reasonable for them to give me their first and last name and for me to perhaps do some checking on cyberspace so that I (hopefully) know they are a real person. It seems some take offense to that. After we’ve been chatting, I will give you my name and you are free to do the same, even though as a woman I am much more vulnerable than a guy is.

I can relate, first thing I do is ask for a picture and most times people are happy to oblige. In a few cases, I’ve been given a hard time about it so I politely decline their offer to meet or to take things offline. Some people are probably not who they say they are and I don’t have time for that. Safety first.
I had a woman tell me that was such a “dude thing to do” lol ??‍♀️ Guys are usually ready with theirs!

hogboblin

I ask for a blood sample. I cover the cost of shipping, because that only seems fair.

Once I have the blood I’ll heat up a bit of metal and plunge it into the sample. If the blood does anything peculiar—like jump into the air while shrieking—I refrain from cuddling that individual.

ColouredCrayons

@hogboblin sounds like a reasonable plan

hiricky

Ask for a pic, msg, talk and phone and meet in public on a coffee shop for quick 5-10 min for introduction. That usually helps me to evaluate if we are compatible for session.
It's been a great experience on this site, I never had any issues and I am really thank full to all the individuals and community for that:))

BoomerSpooner

@hiricky Agreed. I have found this to be the case with a lot of pros and as an enthusiast I have no problem with this as it makes perfect sense.

Brailleangel

I usually like to chat online for a week at least before a public meeting. I will not cuddle without a public meeting first.
Also, because I can't see, I have a trusted individual transport me to any public meetings and sit close, but not with me and the person I'm meeting with. Though it is really awkward for some people I meet with.

cuddlerforu24

@hogboblin , I do the same . As for the blood . Also , I ask if they were on a Norwegian scientific expedition to the Antarctic continent . If so, I know the blood sample will shriek after the hot poker test , do I don’t bother

Melancholy

I always exchange numbers before meeting.
I wouldn't give legal name to someone I barely know though.

mickcuddle

If I don’t trust someone enough (and them trust me) to exchange names and reliable contact information we ought not to be meeting for anything as intimate as a platonic cuddle. Call your mother and ask her what she thinks about you meeting a stranger about whom you have no verifiable information in a hotel room to cuddle in your jammies. If like me, you no longer have a mother to ask, I’m betting you already know how she would answer. In honor of Mother’s Day, stay safe.

Worthy

@melancholy , you would cuddle with someone you barely know but not give out your last name?

Worthy

I’ve also checked someone’s professional license. I am of course happy to provide any and all the information I would ask of someone else after we have the chance to chat for a bit.

UKGuy

Listen to this song before meeting them:

DelicateOrchid

Because I was raised by a major crimes detective I know safety measures to take in most any situation .
Meet in public.
Document in your phone their license plate number, make, model of car.
Have a trusted friend or family member receive their info and if you do not contact your friend/family member within a certain amount of time, police can be contacted and the plate number of the individual can lead to who you may have last been seen with in a worse case scenerio.
Also this is wise for cuddlers a who want to report any men they meet who do not understand the meaning of the word consent and try to ask for non platonic cuddling you do not wish to engage in.
Even if the case goes no where,it is always wise and encouraged to report men who disrespect your body or push your limits and boundaries .
Be careful if a man says he’s an “enthusiast” , normally a huge red flag.
Sorry guys, but you know who you are and I am ignorant or naive.

BoomerSpooner

@DelicateOrchid Just curious about the enthusiast comment when women and men alike use that term. Why do you say that?

DelicateOrchid

Also it’s wise to ask for ID to be shown.
Any man unwilling to show ID, red flag because those will generally be the limit pushers.

BoomerSpooner

I am always wary of non-pros who charge. It is against the rules of the site.

vibert

I don’t take safety that seriously. I mean honestly police can track you down through your IP address, phone number, email. I’m not saying there aren’t retards on here willing to try stuff, but no one is getting away with anything these days. Nothing is as anonymous as you think

HoneyBooBoo

I take it seriously. Robbery, carjacking and scams aren't so rare. Gather as much info as you can, provide a little as you can. If you have doubts, turn around and go home.

clarence_worley

@vibert Just because it isn't anonymous doesn't mean that females (we are lying if we pretend it isn't mainly females) shouldn't take extra precautions. They should have as much documented information as possible. If a cuddler is assaulted she is going to need every bit of evidence that her intentions were just to cuddle. That there was nothing sexual even alluded to. Because if she does decide to go to the police it will be an uphill battle for her. And it sucks so bad that this is the case, but I'm willing to bet the police would hear about 'cuddling' and just think it was code word for 'prostitution' .

calineur

@Worthy I am no safety expert, but I do have an opinion and experiences to share:
Coming from a man's/customer point of view:
1. When I first started cuddling, I requested a brief face to face meeting close to my place (when I hosted). If she agreed I took it as a sign that there was no threat. It worked out great and we had an excellent cuddle session.
2. With another cuddler out of state on a business trip, we both felt comfortable enough from chatting online/phone texting that we simply met at my hotel room. Had an amazing time and our second and third visits were overnight/sleeping visits.
3. On another occasion, however, a cuddler requested for discretionary reasons to come directly to my house (I offered to host). I requested a brief face to face meeting anywhere she chose but she refused, even displaying irritation at my request. I canceled the meeting as she showed no compromising attitude at all. I have no idea if I was just being paranoid, but too many others show a willingness to comply for me to worry about those that don't.
4. My most recent cuddle was with someone who, after I sent a brief greeting, viewed my profile and requested right away that we meet to cuddle. It was her first time. I hosted, we had a nice time and I hope to see her again soon. I had no feelings of safety issue so no public meet was requested and as it turned out not needed. It was even nighttime.

AnnJ

I have a phone text/call system in place. (They all know where I am going and how long I am suppose to be there.)
If I do not message my safety net by 15 min after the cuddle time was suppose to start, they text me.
If I do not answer with in 5 min, they call.
If I dont answer, they dont stop calling until I answer.
If it is now 30 min past and they haven't heard from me, they all show up to save me.
I have never had to have them start calling me so far. (knock on wood)

Biblioromantic

I agree. I have a friend IRL who's also on the site. When I set up an appointment, I tell them the screen name of the person I'm meeting, where and when we're meeting, etc., even if we're meeting at a public place, and I always, always require a public meetup prior to a cuddle session. The one time I met privately with a cuddler, we drove from the public meetup to his hotel separately, and I called my friend to tell him what was up, shared my location on my phone, and texted him the room number from the bathroom after I'd arrived. He knew exactly where I was in case I needed help. I called him from the lobby when we finished the cuddle, and we chatted until I was driving in my car and several blocks away so he knew I was safe and 100% okay.

Other things to try: search the heck out of the phone number people give you if they want to text. Sites like whitepages.com or phonevalidator.com will give you the service provider, the name of the person who's listed on the contract, and the city and state of their address. You can also type a phone number or email address into the search bar on Facebook, and it will show the profile of anyone who set up their FB profile with that contact info. FB is a gold mine of info.

Flip side: If you're a girl, don't EVER give out your real number or email address. Sign up for phoner or another anonymous texting app and pay the $5 to get a secondary, anonymous number. Get a separate, anonymous email address just for potential cuddlers. Ask potential cuddle buddies for a photo so you can recognize them; it's the quickest, easiest way to know if the person who approaches you is the person you're expecting to meet. Meet in public at well-known, well-lit locations. Tell a friend or family member who you're meeting, when, where, and when you'll be back. Drive yourself to the meetup location so you're sure to have a safe place to escape to as well as transportation to get away in case things go badly. During the cuddle, leave your valuables (except your phone, obviously) in your car's trunk to keep them from getting stolen or lost. If you absolutely must ride in someone else's car, take photos of the license plate and text them to a friend before you get in the stranger's car. And trust your intuition. If anything's off or you're uncomfortable, don't wait. Trust yourself, and get the hell out.

Worthy

I continue to be astonished at folks who think I will meet with them without vetting them. I wonder how many women out there are willing to meet with a complete stranger without knowing their full name and getting some kind of real life verification? A guy just told me I should know he is safe because he is Indian and it’s Indian culture. Well, good luck buddy!

BoomerSpooner

@Worthy Deadly viruses and bacteria grow in cultures as well as good. Just food for thought for anyone who plays the culture card again.

I insist on e-mail, & texting for @ least a week. I, personally, am not interested in cuddling w/ strangers. People who do not trust cyberspace enough not to put a picture on, are not automatically untrustworthy or lying, as many strongly suggest. They, like me, may not trust cyberspace. Potential cuddlers do not need to take it personally.

If I am cuddling, I must meet in person 1st. Just b/c a pic is sent, does not mean the pic is of the person, I've been chatting w/. I send a picture of cuddlers license plate, along w/ all other pertinent info 2 a friend, just in case. A woman can't be too careful.
KLT

Worthy

@KLT , makes perfect sense.

I try to be the most dangerous person on the website, That way I can ensure I'm never the one having to worry about safety. Heavily recommended and highly effective.

@vesnyr: [mock indignation] Hey, no fair stealing my techniques! I was here before you. I've got dibs.

BashfulLoner

@vesnyr @DarrenWalker you two may think you are considered dangerous, but believe me you are not the most dangerous. I have a very particular set of skills and peculiar tastes. I am the unstoppable force and the immovable object, i am the still in the night, the mystery in every shadow. I can ride sun rays in and out of everyplace i choose to be. To be safe be nice too me.

CUDMELU

Sorry, I can't answer your question, but few thoughts on this subject.

Safety is a personal perception. It's a difficult thing to judge someone by meeting for few minutes. Can you confidently identify a serial killer or an abusive person by meeting for 15min at a coffee shop?

Yes, I have met strangers for cuddling or while buying/selling selling items. So far nothing crazy has happened and majority were great experiences. There are some great suggestions on this thread and many I could not have imagined.

My only thought would be to terminate the contact the moment you feel uncomfortable. You are the best judge of what is likely coming.