Straight men cuddling with other men...?

[Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)
in General

I want to start a discussion here. I, a straight (possibly bi-curious) guy, am curious to see if it would be enjoyable/nice to cuddle with another guy.

Have any straight men on here had this experience? What did you think of it? If it's a good idea, what should I have to take into consideration that I wouldn't have to if I was cuddling with a woman?

Discuss.

«1

Comments

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited September 2018

    I find it very hard to believe any straight guy would cuddle another guy. I/We have just not been socialized to believe that is acceptable. It's totally different to a woman cuddling another women. Maybe there are some societies in the world where it would be considered acceptable but certainly not in the UK or USA, the two places where I have lived. How would a woman feel if her boyfriend or husband said he was cuddling other men?

  • [Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)

    Yeah, I'm just trying to how much of my hesitance to the idea is because I really don't want to, or that I've been conditioned to believe that it's "wrong". I am single, so I'm just on here looking for cuddles (I would NEVER do it behind a SO's back), but I'm wanting to see if this is something I would enjoy.

  • cease2existcease2exist

    What do you have to lose? If it's something you're open to, give it a shot.

  • [Deleted User]TripleC (deleted user)

    I don’t even like a man to give me a massage, but I do sometimes if a female massage therapist is not available. I would rather cuddle a cat or a dog than another man. I’m just being honest.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Personally I think it makes more sense, on a platonic site, to cuddle with somebody you know you're not going to be tempted to go too far with. It's not fair that society lets girls hug and cuddle, but conditions boys to keep away from one another. There's nothing wrong with getting the human contact you need from another man.

    These social rules are stupid. Why can't two guys curl up and watch a movie? Girls do it all the time and there's nothing "creepy" or "wrong" about it.

  • floaties16floaties16

    I think safety is the only thing to keep in mind. Also if you want to cuddle men you should select that you are open to cuddling “everyone”. That way when a man is browsing for cuddlers your profile will show up.

  • [Deleted User]str8cuddle (deleted user)

    Cuddling is a natural activity for humans and primates. It does not need to be sexual to be enjoyable. People cuddle their children without wanting to have sex with them. I grew up in a cuddling affectionate family. My dad was a cuddler to all of his kids and I enjoy cuddling my sisters and brothers during home movies and we're all adults. I am a straight guy and I enjoy cuddles with my straight guys friends and we are never tempted by sex.

    I do not envy guys that are brainwashed by the American culture, that keeps men affectionately alienated from each other. This culture has brainwashed men to keep the burden on women and pets, to fulfill _all _of their platonic touch affection needs. Tragic childhood experiences is also a culprit.

    Like myself, I know a number of straight men who enjoy cuddling male friends and are totally not bothered or uncomfortable with it. It is a sign of security in one’s self and manhood.

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited September 2018

    @str8cuddle - For a man to describe himself as straight, but cuddles only men seems odd to me. Why are you excluding women? And why do you have a photo showing your bare chest? I'd find it equally odd if a woman described herself as gay but cuddled only men (which by the way I have never seen).

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @UKGuy: Doesn't it seem more logical for someone looking for no-sex to cuddle only people they're not sexually attracted to? Most people on this site aren't that logical, I grant you. Maybe @str8cuddle is secretly a Vulcan.

  • AndiCuddlesAndiCuddles
    edited September 2018

    I know I’m not this thread’s target audience (so I feel a bit guilty commenting), but I really appreciate how this discussion is going.

    I agree with @DarrenWalker and @str8cuddle. Anthropologically, the taboo of straight men touching men is culturally ingrained. From studies I’ve seen, the UK is the worst about this and the US is second worse. Iberian peoples seem to be some of the most open to male/male non-sexual touching.

    I’ll see if I can find the study tomorrow. I found it really fascinating.

    If we could break this social construct, I think it would greatly improve the happiness in our country.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    I’m not offended by any man who says he doesn’t want to cuddle other men. I’m not even bothered if you say tha it’s “icky,” if that’s the word utra-straight dudes are using these days. But you cross a line for me when you suggest that is unnatural or unacceptable. True, it’s not a common practice. But own your values, don’t put them om everyone, please. And to suggest that someone who self-identifies as straight is not really straight because he prefers to cuddle men borders on hate speach.

  • TallMuscleGradTallMuscleGrad

    First off I want to acknowledge and congratulate @MichaelFJudd for his open mind and bravery to discuss personal topics, with many strangers. I too am Straight and cuddle both genders. Each person brings something fun/new to the table. It has helped many friendships grow stronger and we both usually feel encouraged after. With any cuddle buddy boundaries (respect of personal preferences, goals and limits are important) and smart to discuss prior. I wish you well during the exploration process.

  • [Deleted User]snughugs (deleted user)

    I think it's such a shame that many straight men are socialized to believe that there is something inherently wrong with cuddling another man. Everyone is allowed their own preferences of course but it's so unfair when someone has their sexuality questioned due to who they show platonic affection towards and in what way. I honestly wouldn't mind a straight male partner cuddling other men - actually, it would probably be better because I wouldn't have to overcome the jealousy aspect that originates from the fear of things turning romantic or sexual.

  • bradj94bradj94

    I’m gay and I have cuddled my straight male friends before without it leading to anything sexual whatsoever. They were comfortable enough in themselves to do it and if you are too, I say go for it. You have nothing to lose. I know society wants to make us think a certain way but honestly, not everything has to be sexualised. Just go into it with an open mind.

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    Naw I'm good

    -dont hate me for my opinion-

  • [Deleted User]ram84 (deleted user)

    I’m a straight British guy and have no issue with cuddling men, and I think it’s a sad state of affairs that it is ingrained in our culture that it’s not something normal to do. I also think it can sometimes be a sign of closet homophobia; we’re fortunately mostly beyond people being openly attacked based on their sexuality here, but I still think there’s a lingering fear among men of being seen to be acting in a “gay” way, because subconsciously they still see it as a bad thing rather than normal.

    Personally when cuddling with men I see it more as a brotherly sort of affection. I wish that was something that was expressed more here in the UK as it is in some other cultures. I have a couple of friends that I’d love to be able to snuggle up with on the sofa watching a film, or walking down the street holding hands and just enjoying that for what it is. The fact I have to hold back on that because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable is ultimately one of the reasons I’m on this site.

  • calineurcalineur

    No. And... No.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I feel more comfortable having close snuggles with a woman. Not really because I am sexually attracted to women nor due to societal pressures. Just a preference. No real reason or rhyme to it. I think if you feel inclined to try something you should, so the OP, if it feels right go with it.

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    @calineur i feel you

    -dont judge me for my opinion-

  • 11rollover11rollover

    @Navyman1010 ,
    Isn’t feeling him cuddling?
    Just teasing.

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010

    You know what i mean lol

  • 11rollover11rollover

    I couldn’t resist. Thank you for your service BTW. :)

  • StarCaptSilasStarCaptSilas

    I've cuddled by close dude friends before--emphasis on "close". These are guys I've known for YEARS and we've got a pretty strong "Fellowship of the Rings"/"Bert and Ernie" style friendship. We're guys that just have a close friendship with one another and there's no sexual or romantic context. The same is with two gal friends of mine. We're really, really close and there's no romantic context to our relationship (with one gal-friend, in particular, I've noticed an increase in "are you two a couple?" type questions from strangers and friends alike. She and I are literally just Merry and Pippin.)

    So yes, depending on the context of the relationship I'm open to cuddling my guy friends, especially if everyone (guy and gal friends alike) are doing a cuddle puddle.

    Outside of that? I personally am really particular about the guys that I cuddle. In the past I've cuddled dudes and they got really handsy with me and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've had a similar run-in with one gal friend who tried getting handsy while in a cuddle puddle and it really irritated me.

    So! TL;DR -- Sure, it all depends on the context and trust of the friendship.

  • TallmannTallmann

    @MichaelFJudd
    Great discussion topic.
    I’m bi and currently feeling pretty celibate. I’m open to cuddling all genders and have done some thinking around this issue.
    As a man it is most difficult to find a straight man who will cuddle you. It is less difficult to find a woman to cuddle. Even less difficult to find a gay man to cuddle who won’t try to make it sexual. Easiest of all is finding a gay man to cuddle after sex ??.
    The first three cases are more likely to happen with a friend you’ve known for a while.
    I’ve recently had two cuddle sessions with a new friend, a gay buddy and they were nice. No sex, just buds. I met him through Grindr. I have a profile for cuddles. It doesn’t work very well but...I got one.
    I’m not sure why you specifically ask about straight men but I recommend considering cuddling bi or gay men. It’s more likely to happen. As for what to consider, you’ll find it’s much easier between men. Removing gender differences eliminates so much political, cultural, societal baggage. But for the most part all the same advice applies: be respectful and kind. If it’s an overnight, there might be more snoring. ?

    My Grindr profile:

  • SimmonSimmon

    Straight male here who cuddles anyone he is fond of. Certainly need to be closer to do such a thing with a male friend, because I don’t want to cause any discomfort, but we all need cuddles. Be that positive change, and let the people in your life feel your affection. Just my 2 cents.

  • [Deleted User]Shan79x (deleted user)

    I say go for it. You don't know if it's for you if you don't try. Nothing to loose just be safe. Perhaps pop a double hammock at a park.

  • CUD_maleCUD_male

    During cuddle workshops, there are tim s when cuddling another male occurs, normally ok time.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I would give it a go. I have had everyone checked off in my profile for quite some time. Whether it will actually happen, well, that's another thing.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    I would love to cuddle with a straight man. Granted, I'm gay, but cuddling is a platonic thing, and it would be great to enjoy that male energy I like and share affectionate touch with a likeminded buddy who loves me for who I am.

    I understand how a straight man might not want to cuddle with another man, though, and I hold no judgement against the guys here who have said "no." I have to admit that I have reservations about cuddling with a woman. I wonder if it's that I'm homosocial as well as homosexual. I just prefer the company of men. I don't really want to have a gal pal or to be a woman's gay best friend. I'm open to it, though! I figure if I want to find a man to be affectionate with me and not expect me to have sex with him, then I ought to be open to being affectionate with a woman who doesn't expect me to have sex with her.

  • MrFirefighterMrFirefighter

    All these supposedly straight men cuddling men. Give me a break. I ain't buyin it for a second. If you want to be gay, bi, or curious, just own it. But to pretend there isn't some other element at play here I call BS. Spoken by a TRUE straight man and every other 100% straight man on this planet.

    Prepare for all the "I'm straight but I cuddle men" nonsense to follow.

Sign In or Register to comment.