I'm really uncomfy w/ cuddling strangers

I think we can all agree being female anywhere is a safety risk, even for the pro cuddlers, more power to you. I grew up in the inner city of LA full of stress. I knew the importance of cuddling when I met a homeless elder on skid row and gave him a hug. The gift was just as much for me, because that hug had healing powers. It was the first time I ever hugged a stranger with so much acceptance. I was also very safe w/ my friends and drunk as shit, so that's probably why I did it...But on this platform made exclusively for hugging strangers. I can't. It gives me anxiety. I might end up deleting me profile

BoomerSpooner

Not trying to be flippant because your concerns are legitimate, but there is a saying that “A stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet.” Perhaps start by chatting back and forth on this website to get a sense of the person.

littermate

You could stay around and share on the forum and get to know some of us, get to know the screening process, etc. Female enthusiasts are so rare that you can have any screening process you want, including getting to know someone as long as you need to before you cuddle. You call the shots and perhaps you will find someone who will be patient enough to get to know you as a person so by the time you cuddle, you can feel safe.

My first cuddle was with a stranger, but I gave myself permission to leave if I didn't feel comfortable. It was in a public place (a movie theater). We sat outside chatting for 30 minutes before we went in. I found him to be a sweetheart the minute I met him and that only grew as we chatted. The next person, I met for tea and chatted and we walked some and I felt totally comfortable with him. Another fellow I hung out with 3 times or so before we cuddled. I've had tea and not cuddled with people. So you don't have to just jump into cuddling some strange human.

Also, you can build skills in screening and saying no and stuff like that here too. So it's not black and white. I'd encourage you to stay on just to practice your "no thank you" - and give yourself the option to stay on and NOT cuddle until (and only if) you are ready.

@CovidNeg Don't worry, having an account is just having an account - there's no need to ever cuddle a stranger on here if you're not comfortable with it! Like @littermate said, stick around and just post in the forums if you want You might end up connecting with some members and making new friends and/or eventual cuddle buddies along the way.

ChefKate

@CovidNeg welcome! I grew up in Houston, so cuddling strangers is probably just as weird for me. I refuse to meet with anyone in person before getting to know them here. If I'm comfortable after some back and forth messages, and they seem to understand and appreciate my quirkiness, then I go to a public meet. If at the meet I'm comfortable with them I can make the move to cuddle. However I always let someone know where I am going to be. There are other things you can do to protect yourself, but I don't get the feeling that you're too worried about that right now.

My first cuddle, which was a week ago lol, when I was ready to cuddle I was awkward and stiff and didn't know what the next step would be. I looked at him and asked what to do next. From there we would check in with each other to make sure it was comfortable physically as well as mentally. I may not seem like I'm shy, but I really can be when the anxiety hits. But beware because as soon as I'm comfortable I won't shut up or leave, lol.

The cool thing I've noticed about this site is that the people who are truly here for platonic cuddles and/or companionship have been where you are. They understand that there will be anxiety and awkwardness and will do what they can to reduce it. And either party at any time has the right, and imo the responsibility, to slow things down, stop the cuddle, or modify the rules. The best thing to do is communicate honestly and listen to your gut.

Hugs! Hope you find what you need!

Lev136

@CovidNeg ,

Take your time. It took me awhile to get used to the cuddling community and what we do. To me, it's been very rewarding, gives me some time to get a hug which I really need and chat with someone for awhile. It's just gives me a way to be with others.

I would find my comfort zone. Where you enjoy cuddling, who with, etc. At first, I found it weird to be cuddling with women much younger than me. I eventually grew used to it and cuddle with those of a broad range of ages. A lot has changed since I started, in terms fo preferences, who I enjoy cuddling with, etc.

My beast advice is to try it and see how you feel after awhile.

CuddleDuncan

@CovidNeg welcome! If you don't want to cuddle strangers, then don't.

How you use this site is up to you. Some people here never cuddle anybody. Lots of good advice on this thread.

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@ChefKate congratulations on your first cuddle!

littermate

And sometimes you have to weed through a lot of requests to find the ones that feel right TO YOU. That's the key part - TO YOU.

@CovidNeg
You are so entitled to your feelings and following your gut instincts is a good thing.
I would only suggest that you exercise great patience and really listen to some of the experienced posters on this thread and other threads. After all, you did make the effort to sign up on CC, so maybe deep inside you need/want what cuddling offers, just like the rest of us. Most people on the site have/do exercise caution.

Amortentia

I was terrified meeting strangers for cuddles too but I also talked to them a lot before meeting them in person so I'd feel more comfortable and they'd feel less of a stranger. I don't regret meeting anyone yet. I'll probably have some good friends from here too. Be brave. You can do it. You won't know how easy and fun it can be if you don't put in the attempt.

@CovidNeg so glad you posted to the forum and getting better advices/response from the helpful community.

GentleMan1111

I'll admit, I feel frustrated sometimes trying to meet people here, especially since I don't have a whole lot of extra money to hire pros. But I totally get it why the ladies need to be so careful. I can only imagine what it's like dealing with everyone being a potential predator.

It is scary putting trust in people, but it's also fine to ease yourself in and talk to people for as long as you need in order to feel comfortable with them. The forums will give you a lot of information and help you get a feel for what people are like. Start slow, chat to people, ask questions, read archived posts. The majority of people here are very friendly and supportive and will do what they can to help you feel more comfortable, but remember you don't have to rush and you don't have to do anything you don't want to.

I like cuddling strangers. But I hesitate cuddling a strangler.

quixotic_life

Strangers? Like the people who are more strange than most everyone else? Cause I like those kinds of peoples the bestest!!

Plus something about strangers being friends you haven't met yet...?

BoomerSpooner

“strangers on this road we are on,
We are not two we are one.”

Dave Davies-The Kinks

BoomerSpooner

@mmart I cuddled a strangler once. She got choked up about the experience.

@FunCartel

You've got to be choking me.

BoomerSpooner

@Mmart lol

I mean that is breathtaking.

Hugonaut

As others have written, your concerns are valid! Listen to your gut and establish and stick to your boundaries.

Considering asking to have a brief (10 min) phone or even zoom chat, especially for new/first time cuddlers or those with no karma so you can go over rules, expectations, and preferences. A benefit is that it will allow you to 'get straight to cuddling' when you do have a session so win/win!

I've asked for calls to get a better feel for cuddlers with limited profile information. It gives me a chance to show I'm respectful and fun but also share what I'm looking for - relatively quiet cuddling (music not TV), not too warm, and good communication (if there's a change, alert me asap and not just before). Doing so has always made the session better but it also has led me to deciding not to move forward for 'reasons'.

If someone isn't willing to do that, you're probably not missing much.

littermate

Thanks @GentleMan1111. I just really like how you expressed yourself and put yourself into women's shoes simultaneously. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Melancholy

Well she deleted her account.

happybear

This cuddling community and cuddling itself makes the world a little smaller. i tell everyone that every person i met and cuddled with i would have never met in any other way, shape or form and it's made my life better, and has blessed me with a diverse connection to others and have people here that i consider friends, that i hope to have in my life forward, my cuddle friends

**not everyone jumps into the cuddle pool, some just get their feet wet, some jump in, some sit by the edge and watch, all good, be you, and do what you feel comfortable with.

Yeah, she deleted her account long ago. No need for this to be back.

I'm sure she wasn't the only person feeling this way, so maybe this will help someone else.

Personally, I feel quite validated by the advice here as I'm also wary of meeting strangers. I supposed one good thing about the pandemic is that it has forced people to slow down and talk before rushing headlong into meting the first person that came along.

I try to be positive, but when I see ppl that had contacted me that seemed cool and then they were banned it gives me anxiety. Then I’m thinking what did they do? Was it something via messenger or did they actually meet a cuddler and now they are traumatized?:(

BoomerSpooner

@soulofjaz That is one I can see because you do not know why because it is buried under the murky reason of breaking TOS. That could mean a lot of reasons and I can definitely understand one’s mind getting carried away with scenarios...did I just avoid a violent encounter? Etc. I think a banned person should have a number code as to why they were banned so as to understand without giving away details. For example:

Code 1: Sexual conduct
Code 2: cancellation without notice
Code 3: multiple accounts

And so on. JMO

Maverick07

I've joined this site recently and this weekend I had my first experience, which was awesome. I was a little skeptical at first, thinking of being at a certain level of intimacy with a 'stranger' - I can't imagine how she was feeling as a woman...! But after a couple of weeks texting each other, we went out for dinner, back to her place, watched a movie and had such a nice cuddling/snuggling time! I guess we have to expose ourselves a little, but always with caution and alert to any red flags.

joycechep2000

I agree with you a 100% cuddling strangers would scare me to death, therefore i suggesting getting to know the person inside out first, including metal issues, criminal issues, and drug addiction an all those dangerous stuff before letting yourself be touched or confined in some some strange space and with some stranger., Safety first especially for all ladies, is recommended .

littermate

@FunCartel I love that idea. @Mark
At least then we can learn from the situation and feel some measure of info. I've had that happen and it's really creepy. Like did I dodge a bullet or what? I didn't pick up ANYTHING from exchanging with this person that would have been a red flag and yet, booted.