What have you found out about your own preferences through cuddling?
I found that I enjoy being both spoons. I was quite surprised with how comforting it can be to comfort another.
I discovered that cuddling is not essentially a physical activity. It is primarily an emotional one.
While learning and growing in this field of work, I’ve found that Feather Touching (which is a form of caressing, barely touching the person) is one of the most comforting, feel-good things on the planet lol I love a good massage but feather touching is absolutely heavenly 🌸🌸
I, too, like being both spoons, but which spoon I want to be on any given day varies depending on my mood.
@sunnysideup I'm a full on switch spooner! I have no problem switching spoons mid cuddle and back again.
Personally, I always felt being something more emotional than physical... I am normally the big spoon, but a couple of times that I was the small one, I was so relaxed that I fell asleep - really :-D
I like it when someone comes up from behind me and wraps their arms around me, and rests their head on my upper back. Makes me feel good.
@TheNewNovelist that is a good position... whether being held or holding. Though I sometimes find that when being held I don't know what to do, lol.
What an interesting thread @ChefKate ! Thank you!! Its so fun finding out new things about yourself (well, I suppose SOMETIMES its fun...) I have found that there is such a thing as "cuddle chemistry" and I wouldn't have ever guessed that. You can enjoy someone immensely as a human, i.e. engaging conversation etc etc etc but their cuddle style might not match yours. The opposite is true as well, they might not be exactly your cup of tea in the conversation or adventure are but your snuggles align up effortlessly!! The funny thing is that its not always easy to pinpoint who might be the best match so its fun to explore.
Omgosh @Sheena123 I can almost FEEL what you are talking about. One of my fav cuddles involved touching that wasn't touching.... It was like hovering. Fingers just above the skin and electricity flowing..... Oh my. That was very cool!!! Who knew???
Here is a very specific thing that I found out though, the energy that is exchanged with such closeness and all of those yummy chemicals that are released with a good snuggle is so incredibly powerful and I didn't really anticipate that happening with people who are just a few paces past a "stranger" TOTALLY unexpected but absolutely lovely. 😊
This was an interesting find. Reminds me of someone. Just can't think of the person's name @squeakytoy .
@Mmart Ooh... I feel so sorry for the women in that clip. So much uncomfortable/nervous laughter and forced politeness And a few looked genuinely frightened about a strange dude approaching them from behind.
EDIT: I definitely enjoy a lot of clips involving obnoxious squeaky toys though! This dog trying to get the cat to play with him cracks me up every time:
I wasn't prepared for the power of the endorphins and how bonded I felt with the fellows I cuddled with. Wowzer. Because my experience of cuddling outside of what we call "intimate relationship" had only been snuggling on the couch with friends or at retreats while listening to a talk, it was new ground to be that focused on only cuddling, and I found out how much I adore it and how deeply nourishing it is. I was also delighted to be in that kind of space with a man since my experience of men has been "moving it toward the sexual" and how fulfilling cuddling on its own is and how much I appreciated the absence of sexual agenda and pressure in relating in such a satisfying human way.
@squeakytoy . lol. That cat wants no part of that toy.
I was surprised at the withdrawal experience after my first cuddle. I still haven't learned how to cope with that part of the cuddle experience. But at least I know what to expect now.
@creedhands I was really worried there would be withdrawal after my first session. Luckily it was amazing and healing and long enough that I didn't have too much of a hard time leaving. I did have some "5 more minutes" pleas and a few grumbles when I finally got my shoes on, lol. But I think the length of the cuddle as well as that we set up a weekly time helped to mitigate any loss or withdrawal.
@ChefKate Mine was a two hour session with a pro. And I didn't know if I was ever going to cuddle again, since I can only find people 2+ hours from me, plus the cost of a pro means I lose 2 day's wages every time I cuddle. My withdrawal didn't happen until two days later and continued for a couple days. I had no idea how connected I would feel to that person.
@creedhands I totally understand about the connection that happens, and how quickly it can!
@littermate yesssssssssss EXACTLY and as always, well said.
I found that I have a similar response to cuddling as most people do to sexual intimacy, in that I have to like and trust the person on a pretty deep level before I can stand to be touched by them.
This applies to quick hugs and handshakes and other forms of contact as much as 'proper' cuddling, and I am becoming much more comfortable with putting my own needs above those of the social norms and will politely decline touch even if the other person is offended by my refusal.
For me, 'my body, my choice' extends to cuddling and indeed any type of physical interaction.
Thanks @sillysassy!