Have any of you ladies or men ever have to walk out of a cuddle? And if so did you take the fee? Or leave it? Examples: dirty environment, dirty clothes, being disrespected sexually?
Does disrespected sexually always have to come up? I left during a session with a pro when she decided to smoke cigarettes.
@LatinCuddles24 Yes, it has to come up because it happens during sessions often. Many women especially pros tell me that many men touch them sexually and or make other unwanted advances. I have also cuddled for many years and even recently had to leave a cuddle session, due to sexual pressure for a cuddle buddy. 😔 A pro told me that I was the only guy she cuddled that never tried for more. 😁@MayFlowers Thank you for the forum topic.
Thanks @SuperManCuddles . It doesn't do women any good to stay silent about huge problems like these. @LatinCuddles24 You think you're sick of hearing about it? I guarantee you, we're at least four times as sick of experiencing it.
On the topic of the post, when I used to cuddle men, I did politely cut a few cuddle sessions short because of mildly creepy behavior. It was disappointing when it happened, because I always did my best to filter out those types beforehand with public meetings. Ah well, c'est la vie.
Uh yes @LatinCuddles24 as long as it is a thing it will be brought up . Dont ask dont tell does not apply
I totally agree @squeakytoy and @pmvines as long as it’s still happening, the discussion needs to also happen, whether it’s your experience/concern or not. Empathy definitely helps.
I just started and i had a guy yesterday had me rubbing all over him then towards the end it turned into me rubbing just above his belt line and of course had a raging boner the whole time. I respect that the boner thing will happen just be cool about it and lets try another way to cuddle but this guy was like gesturing me to be close with it. The session was supposed to be two hours but i cut it short at one and i took the money.
@LatinCuddles24 yes, obviously. It will continue to come up until it doesn't happen any more.
I'm curious as to why you even said that. Very first reply to the thread, no one has mentioned it, and yet you are trying to silence the voice of people who have been abused or harassed.
If guys get inappropriate, then REPORT! REPORT! REPORT! If a guy is respectful, then five star him.
@Mindylouise
Welcome to cuddling! I'm sorry this was a intro to cuddling for you here. 🙁 Please know you are not required to touch a client anywhere you're uncomfortable with. You set your own boundaries whatever they may be. Some refuse face to face cuddling while others may have no problem with it. Some ladies refuse to wear shorts for good reason. Our individual experiences have led many of us to set guidelines as to what we are individually comfortable with. I personally completely avoid touching a client anywhere below the chest area. It's just asking for a purely platonic setting to quickly have sexual tones.
I'm not blaming you in the slightest so please don't take this as me blaming you, just friendly advice as you're new and may think having strict boundaries is a bad thing. The sooner you establish and voice those, the fewer problems you will have as you take on new clientele.
@SuperManCuddles Thank you for your explanation. I was only curious & you gave me a great answer. I don’t visit the forums that often.
@squeakytoy I never said I was sick of hearing it. Don’t assume things.
@pmvines You are right. As long as it’s happening it needs to be discussed. Your answer and @SuperManCuddles was very helpful
@CuddleDuncan I said it because the thread maker mentions it at the very end of her post. I am not trying to silence anyone. I was the very first person to reply because I logged in shortly after she posted?
@LatinCuddles24 Yeah, not buying this, buddy. You clearly visit the forums often enough to know that this is a thing that comes up a lot, if you asked why it always has to come up. This is what innocent curiosity looks like:
"Why does sexual disrespect come up so much?"
This, not so much:
"Does disrespected sexually always have to come up?"
If you'll notice, I wasn't the only person who interpreted it the way I did. So maybe instead of telling me "don't assume things," you should be more mindful of your communication style.
Yes, @wolfman22 - believe ALL women. Not 87%. You may want to reconsider misogynistic posts in the future, as in, don't do it. [-Sid]
@Mindylouise This echoes what @Envie is saying but what an awful introduction to cuddling! I'm so sorry you had that experience. You did the right thing by getting out of there early. I'm glad you got paid as well.
@squeakytoy I don’t care if you believe me or not. Again assuming things 😂
Thanks @Sideon ! Appreciated as always.
@Sideon So, your saying that we have to believe all women? I'll give you the benefit of doubt and we shouldn't believe all men either. We can't believe all men or all women that clinical liars and do bat shit crazy stuff right?? Then I say that you are the biggest HYPOCRITE there is!!!
@wolfman22 - you posted a misogynistic video and I called it out. ANYONE stating they feel uncomfortable should call it out, male or female. Misogyny is not welcome here, and that video was not funny.
If you want to participate in the forums, stay on topic, lay off the personal attacks, or show yourself the door. If you can't figure that out, I will show you the way.
@Sideon I wasn't personally attacking anyone. Did I tag anyone to that video!?!? Bill Burr is a very funny comedian!! I was just calling out all the of the liars and such.
You weren't attacking anyone, really? You may want to reconsider calling moderators "hypocrites" in the future, @wolfman22 [-Sid]
I’m not a pro but if I were: First, it’s my understanding that one should clearly define one’s boundaries before the session and that pros get the client to sign the contract. And then, yes, if the client violates those boundaries, then one can and should stop the session and still get paid. That should be spelled out in the agreement.
As for how clean one’s body, clothes, or environment are, if that’s important, I’d advise them of that beforehand. It’s not “disrespect,” it’s not about you. That’s the way they live. That’s normal to them.
As for someone not understanding why the subject of (usually men) injecting sex into what’s supposed to be a strictly platonic relationship: it comes up because men keep doing it. A lot. As in it appears a majority of them from my limited experience. Until that is no longer the case, it’s going to keep coming up. We’re all about consent and when people don’t respect that, we bring it out into the open. We don’t protect predators.
@wolfman22
You came into a thread where people are talking about sexual harassment and how often it comes up in the lives of women.
In response, you posted a video where a comedian both misunderstands and oversimplifies this topic, treating it like a surface-level logic problem instead of as push-back against our current bias of not believing women, and coming to a conclusion that undermines the progress women have made in this area.
I'm not sure what's supposed to be funny about that.
Also, when you say "calling out the liars", who are you referring to? The dozens of women here on CuddleComfort who have been sharing their stories of sexual harassment and assault? Or the theoretical, faceless entities that comedians like Bill Burr choose to focus on instead of us?
I go by the 3 strikes rule. First time I verbally redirect with a warning. Second time I verbally redirect and tell them the third time it happens I leave. Third time, I get up and leave. The money absolutely comes with me - I held up my end of the bargain, they didn't hold up theirs.
@Sideon I wasn't calling all the "moderators hypocrites" I was just calling you the hypocrite!
Thanks for clarifying. I'm not sure what part of "don't do personal attacks" you missed. Enjoy a forum timeout. Post Script: wolfman22 was in timeout, messaged me on how to delete his account as he was "done with this site," I un-timeouted him, he posted a homophobic personal attack on this thread, and I banned his ass. [-Sid]
I wasn't personally attacking anyone. I was just calling you the hypocrite!
I wasn't personally attacking anyone.
I was just calling you the hypocrite!
That's it, I'm starting a Post Your #MeToo Stories thread.
I think it's disrespectful to answer your phone, check your e-mails on your cell phone and set your cell phone as the count down clock where is shows the seconds counting down and your cuddle partner lays facing it as the little spoon, as if your were watching the clock on New Years Eve. I have all of them happen to me, not more then 1 item at a time. And not all from this site. While hosting, I would never do any of the above, and not answer the door
@Sideon @SuperManCuddles @pmvines I could weep. You guys make this site safe. You guys back up women with your solidarity. Thank you times a million for standing with us.
And @squeakytoy as usual, spreading the intelligence around like buttah.
@Sideon for President.
Just walked out of a cuddle session last night for that exact same reason...sexual advances. I do more and more understand why women try to be not as affectionate during a cuddle session because as soon as they are most of the men get aroused and wanna take it to another level. I experience that all the time and it's no fun. The only thing that keeps me quitting pro cuddling is all the positive experiences, because there are men out there who understand the true concept of platonic cuddling. I do pay a lot of attention on their Karma if they have any but even if it's nothing but positive I still have to break up my cuddle session with them because they are inappropriate with their advances. I request the payment upfront before a cuddle session starts and yes I do charge full even if we break up the session because that's my time I invested in this. If they are dirty, smell bad or smoke...I'm out. I expect the same from you as you expect from me and when I'm all fresh, take a shower before the session and come in clean clothes I want you to do the same...period. How else am I suppose to be comfortable with you? I even had to request a few times if they would mind taking a shower before our session...because I'm a very clean person and I'm very sensitive when it comes to that. Mostly they agree and we just start our session a few minutes later after they showered. If it's untidy I usually just close my eyes for the most part of the session...throw in some soothing music and escape in my mind. Just not everybody is a tidy person
@Aurora87 Those are all very reasonable expectations! I don't know about you, but I can't imagine inviting someone over to my place to cuddle when I haven't tidied up or showered. For me, that's the stuff nightmares are made of. But some people definitely don't feel the same way
@littermate Aaaaww, thank you!! You're too kind
@squeakytoy - That video with Bill Blurr made me cringe. I thought that comedians are supposed to be funny. Yes, there are a few that would lie about it(I see articles about guys being falsely accused and their life ruined), but it probably only makes up about 0.01%.