Thanks @Mmart. And, big talker from way over there in safe Colorado-land where no towering tornado of table tennis talent is able to get at you, but come this way and you'll start to feel the gale force winds. You are sooooo dead.
@sillysassy it's so great to see you on here again my lovely! My one regular cuddler from now a YEAR ago and I had the chemistry going big time. We went from active to still, from giggling to sighing, from snuggling to clowning, and everything in between. A lot of it was just a natural ability to flow with each other, to say "I wanna try this, do you?" and "How's this?" And, "Is there anything else you'd like to do before we go?" and "I love this" and "This is heaven" and "Oh, my arm is falling asleep. But I never felt like I was supposed to be doing stuff, and I'm not a big stroker when it comes to cuddling. I don't mind it being done, and I imagine if someone asked me I'd do what they asked, but I'm more the snuggle in tight and soak up the good vibes than a super "doing stuff" cuddler. I'm more apt to snuggle my face into someone's neck than rub their head or whatever.
Talking myself into missing cuddling big time right now!
@sillysassy It is interesting on both sides I like your perspective. I have totally experienced that kind of massage session where you are just waiting for the the deep tissue part because they are the expert and know what they are doing but at the end you realize you just never got what you wanted. I really like this comparison and I think I'll bring that up in future sessions just to make sure I'm not missing that they wanted a different kind of touch. I like to think I check in a lot with people to make sure they are comfy and are getting what they want, but I might just need to ask a different way. Great idea.
Thank you all for your perspectives! I'll likely be asking whether someone enjoys more of an active or passive cuddling style before sessions now, to make sure I'm catering to their specific needs. However, even if you're not necessarily "active" or moving much, I think letting your partner know that you are attentive to them makes all the difference.
AWWWWWWWW so much is happening here! People helping people help people...... I LOVE IT!!!! 😍💕🥰
@littermate 👇👇👇
I miss you like crazy... you EAST of me kind of girl!!!! I think I'll be traveling down to Collinsville or some ville in OK soon!! We should completely catch up for socially responsible coffee talk. (No table tennis challenges here.... Although maybe I'll bring Mr. @Mmart along for the drive..... OOOOOOOOOOohhhhhhhhhh it sounds like there's a plan a brewing!)
@sillysassy @littermate Hmm, a platonic threesome.
Guess they need a another section besides karma. Dead fish cuddle, touchy feely cuddle. Talk and nervous cuddler give others a heads up
@Mmart maybe we should use the words “cuddle sandwich” so the children don’t get the wrong idea. 😂😂😂
@timetocuddle07 I think the Karma section is a great place to describe the kind of cuddler they are. Keep in mind, it doesn't necessarily have to be in negative terms. You could say something along the lines of, "They were really sweet and respectful, but a bit too still and shy for me personally."
The feedback system (karma) on this site is not very useful. From what I've seen almost everyone gets 5-star reviews. People with negative experiences will be reluctant to post karma because they fear retaliation. In my opinion only the person hiring a professional should be allowed to give feedback. The professional should be allowed to respond to the feedback but not post feedback themselves. This is the way almost all other review/feedback systems work.
@sillysassy yes yes yes to all of it. I'm vaccinated Thursday. Will be out of town for a bit end of April beginning of may. Totally down to see you and @Mmart also welcome. You can be the witness to his cremation.
@UKGuy While I agree that I wish the karma system worked differently, I don't think we should allow just clients to review pros. Karma is extremely important for pros as well so that we can track who has a pattern of being a safe and respectful client. I am much more comfortable cuddling with a client who has at least a couple genuine reviews. Keep in mind, we are also exposing ourselves to potentially dangerous situations when we're meeting a stranger for the first time. While you can always report someone who doesn't follow the CC rules, it's nice to have a way of spotting the good ones too.
Sorry to revive an older thread with not much to add. I’ve been absent from the forum for a few weeks and trying to do some catch up. And just wanted to say:
@UCpaaHVg6u0 I really have to agree. Lol
Nothing stinkier than a dead cuttlefish.
And @admirer97_ Thanks for posting that cuttlefish video. 😂 STILL makes me laugh every time I watch it!! (And I’ve watched it way too many times over the last five years...and may or may not have it memorized verbatim 😐)
Hope everyone’s having a great Thursday! Seeing this video again made my day (but I’m weird like that). As far as the topic of this thread, I’d like to second the notion that communication is key! While I’m still in training to be able to read people’s minds...I can’t read them just yet. So it’s nice when your cuddle partner is comfortable enough to communicate preferences. It makes the cuddle go so much smoother and is more enjoyable for both of us. 😊
I’m an enthusiast and I always have active cuddles. I want to be engaged, touching, hugging, running my fingers through a beard, rubbing a temple, talking, etc. I think that’s just who I am.
I wouldn’t enjoy a still, stationary cuddle.
I have only chatted but would love to cuddle 🤗sandwich 🥪 with @sillysassy and @littermate. We all enjoy cuddles, humor and have much positive energy!!! I also want to cuddle @Mmart too, whether with these wonderful ladies and or alone!!!🤗Let the cuddle party begin🎉❤️!!!
Also yes, I have had a cuddler stay completely still or “dead fish 🐠 cuddling” for a long period of time before. I prefer more active cuddling but was an interesting experience lol 😂🤣
I just read this thread title as deep dish cuddling and thought it was some Chicago pizza cuddlefest. Got excited for a minute.
There is a Dominatrix in Los Angeles that I would often do cleaning jobs for. It was a friendly relationship but she wasn't attracted to me so when ever we did stuff like go out to dinner at a restaurant, it was slightly awkward even though normally, she's the type of person you can talk easily about anything. As a reward for some cleaning, I requested a half hour of cuddling instead of the usual cash payment. All during our cuddling, she gave off a stiffness that was slightly offputting so that by the end of the session, I was not relaxed at all like I normally would after a half hour of cuddling.
I’d be fine with a dead fish client as long as they say they’re relaxed, or fall asleep. For my comfort though, I need some kind of applied pressure or movement to feel acknowledged.
@BigBear4Cuddles I’ll bring some deep dish pizza whenever you’re ready!
Agree with others that I would prefer to cuddle with someone who moves a little bit of their own volition. Shows that the other person likes the cuddle and adds to the sensory experience.
If the ‘deadfishness’ was because that’s just how the other person enjoyed cuddling, it wouldn’t be too bad. If it were associated with a lack of care or genuine interest, I would want to end the session as it would probably make me feel worse.
There are times that, after a long day at work, I would much more prefer to just lay down on my back with someone snuggled up on my arm/chest with some very gentle caressing on my chest / her back, instead of a lot of movement. Would that be considered "dead fish"?
@lonelydaddy I think that sounds nice, not “dead fish.”
@SuperManCuddles hahahahhahaha that is such a FANTASTIC IDEA!!!!! and omgosh..... @BigBear4Cuddles deep dish cuddles 😂😂😂 that was FUNNYYYYYYYYY I completely think that is an amazing idea! Maybe each cuddle party could have a theme...... hahahhahaha deep dish cuddles with a pizza party INTRO!!!!! Yesssssssss
@valkyrievixen OMGOSH!!!!!! I am about to die..... Thank you for pulling this out and reviving it..... I never had time to watch that video.... I am DYING!!! I can't even type because I am laughing so hard!!! So very worth the WATCHING!!!!!
"imagine trying to move while vomiting out of a straw and flapping your skirt around very fast"
@timetocuddle07 that was funny lol
I was a dead fish until my friend grabbed my arm and taught me how to be big spoon proper lol
Only had one session with a great and very active cuddler. Being my first time I didn't know what to expect, and if she wasn't so active I would have been much less involved myself. I think what some may not realize is the difference between having someone lay in your arms and holding someone in your arms, the later being more active.
@SuperManCuddles That right there sounds like a fine cuddle party! You're all hereby invited to Lawrence, Kansas for a weekend of cuddling, ping pong, bike riding, lake dipping. I'm counting the days until I can cuddle with you.
@littermate Awe thank you!!! That all sounds like fun❤️ “cuddle party” @sillysassy @Mmart !!!🤗🤗🤗🤗
I do think there is something to the "being actively present" even if you are not being an active cuddler. This is such an interesting topic and for an extrovert like me if there isn't much communication (either verbally or with the touch) then I start to wonder if something is wrong or if they'd rather be someplace else. Well said @sunnysideup and @ZacRedBear there is a certain "acknowledgment" that is transferred. I did have one friend who was a very kind soul and they truly did enjoy just laying there.... It would've been fine if I was sleepy, but I found my mind starting to wander and think about all the chores I needed to do. 😂😁🤣 I suppose everyone needs/wants something different which is why there's such a thing as "cuddle chemistry" @littermate 💗💗💗 ahem....
i.e. Lawrence cuddle party coming right up!!!! CUDDLE CHEMISTRY INDEED!!!
@cookiefiend WELCOME TO THE SITE!!!! Traveling across the country sounds like a fantastic idea! Let me know if you're traipsing through Denver (Especially if you might be bringing COOKIES!) ❤️❤️❤️