Discussion.

Andy1996

Something I would like to know is, why is it that some people are hesitant to pay someone before a session?
I definitely can understand if maybe some of you have been stood up before. I would just like to know why some people have suggested not to pay a pro before hand.

TheFunCartel

Depends on the pro. Most pros are trustworthy and there is no problem at all. But once in a blue moon you get one who sets your radar off—they seem drugged out, nervous, whatever—and you may want to offer half up front and half at the end. Trust your instincts, especially on a first meeting.

Amortentia

Depends on the pro. Most pros are trustworthy and there is no problem at all. But once in a blue moon you get one who sets your radar off—they seem drugged out, nervous, whatever—and you may want to offer half up front and half at the end. Trust your instincts, especially on a first meeting.

This ^ right here. I totally agree with @FunCartel

I've heard there have been bad experiences with pros before so it just depends. I personally always take payment before so it's up to them from there but I've also showed up to all my sessions and never did a cancel. But everyone is different of course so if you find a good pro then keep them. (Or enthusiast)

EasyPeasy

@Andy1996

It seems to me to be one sided. The benefit is all to the Pro, the financial risk all to the buyer

TheFunCartel

@EasyPeasy I think you just opened up a can of worms there. I would say that your assertion that all the risk is on the buyer is completely false.

EasyPeasy

@FunCartel

How so? Remembering I said financial risk.

I'm fine paying as soon as we are face to face. I have gotten burned by No Shows. Once for the cost of a room. Once for that AND $160 more

MaullySterling

Well said, @FunCartel

I've read some of the pro accounts of a bad appt, and they're like reading a horror script

TheFunCartel

@EasyPeasy Because money can’t buy physical security in those situations. You might pay the pro, but it does not protect her from assault.

Koralie

the only thing I ask for prior to meeting is travel fee... if I need to travel to you then I need the uber fee paid for... then in person I will collect up front. Now, if you cancel on me after giving me travel money... I keep the remaining money... had that happen... canceled when I was still in the uber heading to him... his loss

cuddlerforu24

I would consider the thread starter a vulnerable adult , more at risk of harm then the pro cuddler.

@cuddlerforu24 That wasn't what was being asked in the original question and bears no relevance to the thread.

What you 'consider' the OP to be is inappropriate to even mention. He did not ask for your opinion on his personal situation and it is deeply offensive for you to brand someone 'vulnerable' when you know nothing about them of their situation.

As someone who has personally been described as a 'vulnerable adult' by people that know very little about me and make assumptions on my capabilities, this is an incredibly ableist thing to say. We are not stupid, we are not children, and this is not a productive or helpful comment to make, ESPECIALLY because it bears no relevance to the original thread. Nowhere in the question did OP talk about his own situation, he specifically asked why some people do not like to pay professional cuddlers upfront.

If OP wants to describe himself as 'vulnerable' then be is entitled to, but this has precisely nothing to do with you so I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself.

cuddlerforu24

@BuggleBear the discussion flow went from deposites to someone mention risk of assault of a pro cuddler . The op states in his profile his vision troubles. Imagine A criminal sending him a photo ,. Then him or her dressing up to look like the photo and him being robbed .

I’m simply going with the flow of the discussion.

Have a nice day

No, you are taking irrelevant information from another place on the site and applying it to a faintly ridiculous imaginary scenario.

If you can't see why what you said was inappropriate and problematic then I suggest you go away and think about it.

cuddlerforu24

He has announced to the world his vision problem . I think that makes him a target . That is
My thought.

Thoughts on topic ... many pros don’t host , then in case the client hosts ., he opens up his home for the pro , the client giving a deposit to ensure that he will show up at his own home is absurd

"Target" is extremely problematic here, @cuddlerforu24 . You can rethink your appropriateness in forum timeout. [-Sid]

Your 'thoughts' on the OP are irrevlevent to the thread topic. He asked why people are reluctant to pay a pro beforehand.

You can try to explain your responses any way you like, but they are unjustified and unnecessary.

EasyPeasy

@BuggleBear after reading your profile...well, gonna side with @cuddlerforu24

@FunCartel moved the goalposts from financial risk to a whole ,"can of worms"

Flagged for baiting, reviewed. The comment to @BuggleBear was unnecessary, and not relevant here. Please do not bait. -squeakytoy

TheFunCartel

@EasyPeasy No, you moved them. I said your statements about pros assuming no risk is opening a can of worms.

MaullySterling

Actually, @EasyPeasy , the goalposts were moved by adding "financial" in an edit, after @FunCartel had responded.

I'm curious how reading @BuggleBear's profile made you decide to take a side in this thread?

Uh. Gotta say: I don't have to read anybody's profile to see what's going on in this thread.

OP wants to know why some people are iffy about paying up front. First answer explains that there's a minority of pros who might take the money and run, so you wanna be cautious. Second answer agrees with first.

Third goes off the rails, seeming to imply that paying before a session is always a bad idea.

Fourth comment points out that financial risk isn't the only type of risk involved, justifying payment up front to protect the pro.

Fifth comment misses the point, hyperfocusing on money and only money. Also misses that pros who get stood up lose money, too: even if the only type of risk anybody had to worry about was money, paying at least half up front would still be a good idea for both.

Sixth and seventh comments double down on the other, non-financial risks that might lead a pro to want payment in advance.

Eighth comment states she only asks for as much money up front as is needed to get her to the session (which seems very thoughtful to me, though of course it won't compensate her for lost time if she does get stood up).

Ninth comment, out of nowhere, suddenly characterizes OP as vulnerable and potentially in danger of being attacked by a pro cuddler.

Yeah... that's weird.

pmvines

Whenever I see a brand new user go straight to the forum and start trolling and going right after certain people.or topics as though they have an agenda, makes me wonder exactly how many other profiles they have , or how many times they have been banned

MaullySterling

@pmvines BINGO!

@EasyPeasy what exactly about my profile was it that made you take that stance?

Come on, I'm dying to hear your thought process on all of this. Don't leave me hanging- enlighten me.

I, too, would like to know what @EasyPeasy's line of reasoning was there. What on earth, I wonder, could possibly be written on anyone's profile that would affect the sequence of events here, in this thread?

cuddlerforu24

@Andy1996 also there is the potential of the pro cuddler canceling herself , then finding herself to explain here reasons for collecting the deposit , then , omg something came up , and there’s the awkwardness of returning the deposit ,( they could always reschedule . Me personally I would want the pro to cancel if more exciting plans came up on their end like a family function , or if they have a bad day at work and oh I have to do a side hustle cuddle tonite and I took this guys deposit . I would want them to have that liberty.

MaullySterling

@cuddlerforu24
Sounding pretty triggered, there, dude...
you're so upset, you're not making sense.

Flagged, reviewed. Please do not bait. -squeakytoy

cuddlerforu24

Honey , what doesn’t make sense is a pro cuddler taking a deposit and not showing up herself

Flagged, reviewed. No need for pet names - please do not bait. -squeakytoy

Oh, good heavens. What a post. All right, let's see if I can translate this.

There is also the potential of a pro cuddler being the one to cancel, then finding reasons to collect the pre-cuddle deposit anyway, then saying something came up and returning the deposit is awkward and difficult. (They could always reschedule. Personally, I would want a pro to cancel our session if something more important came up, like a family function, or if a bad day at work left them in no fit state to cuddle. I would want them to have that liberty.)

How's my work, @cuddlerforu24; is this what you meant to say?

Okay, this thread has turned into a mess of flags as well. I'll be cleaning it up. Let's not make assumptions about the OP's ability to take care of himself, folks. People with disabilities are welcome to openly participate here. -squeakytoy

CuddleDuncan

People are always reluctant to pay beforehand because you don't really know whether you will get the goods/services promised. However, paying before and after are both used very widely. For example, when you buy food in a supermarket you pay before: but when you buy it in a restaurant you pay after.

In cuddling, the balance of financial risk is with the professional. It's much more common for a client to run off without paying, than it is for a professional to accept payment and then not cuddle, at least when payment is made in person at the start of a session.

However, this balance changes when it comes to paying in advance. While it's rare for a professional not to cuddle when both parties are in the same room and the money has changed hands, it is much less rare for "professional cuddlers" to accept payment in advance and then not honour the contract. This is why many clients are perfectly happy to pay at the start, but are reluctant to pay in advance.

To reveal my own biases, I am very happy to pay at the start, and I routinely pay in advance with professionals I already know. (Apart from that one time when we both forgot .... 🙄) With professionals I don't know I'm happy to pay a deposit in advance, but I would think carefully about paying the full amount.

Payment for hosting doesn't really come up with professionals in London. All the professionals I have met in neutral locations used therapy rooms, which are not expensive.

hawker69

@Andy1996 Getting back to your original question
" why is it that some people are hesitant to pay someone before a session? "
For a first visit . There are too many scams out there, Or you could get VERY poor service.
I never pay up front or pay a deposit up front. If they don't like that there are plenty of people
who will take my money after the session.