Like button

Sometimes when browsing the site I stumble across a very sweet, all-around nice profile of someone not in my area. There would be no point in me messaging them (I always assume women get ton of spam on any type of matching site) but it would be nice to send them an anonymous Like - a simple "you're appreciated" button.

No public "Likes" counter or anything competitive like that, but a little something only they can see such as "12 people appreciated you this week" would be a nice feature for when people check their account.

Or maybe something like that is already in the mobile site but I'm overlooking it?

craM

Great idea 💡👏🏽👍🏽 I tell people I like their profile often in a message, but if there were another way I would.

cuddlerforu24

This site doesn’t have that . It wouldn’t really be anonymous as I think the visitor to the profile in order to like or dislike would show up in the visitor log

I’m in favor of an anonymous 👍 or 👎 for forum comments tho

UCpaaHVg6u0

@cuddlerforu24 I should think that anonymous signaling like that would constitute something marginally creepy. Communication here shouldn't be anonymous in the sense of people giving feedback, messages, or signals that aren't traceable to a member. Anyway, there was a Black Mirror episode where a dystopic near-future social media world turned into a nightmare of thumbs up and down, alternately building and wrecking people's lives. Why go down that road?

cuddlerforu24

@UCpaaHVg6u0 I think the anonymous signals would cut down on personal attacks, baiting, and other non forum compliant posting . If someone were to “ vent” , then receive 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎, this is displayed. Then if someone else wanted to vent on the same topic they might see someone else with the 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎, and think twice .

Then this allows some folks who are too shy to say something , they might feel they at least participated if they could 👎or 👍
I don’t know how the edit feature would work tho ,, poster could edit out his content then leave folks wondering what was said .

Adding public 👎or 👍 to forum posts could result in people making posts or replies just to "get the most likes". An example of the resulting connotations is the tribalism you see on Twitter and Facebook and other social media.

poolman

@cuddlerforu24 - visitors would show up, and if no msg left, visitee would wonder if visitor had liked their page or not.

loverob321

Sounds like some great idea but it's sad it only takes a couple of people to ruin it for others. Thanks for sharing your insite.

Gary

An example of the resulting connotations is the tribalism you see on Twitter and Facebook and other social media.

Twitter is a bad example because they only allow liking of tweets. This gives absolutely no context and general consensus of how people are reacting to it. Essentially the number of likes is just a generic meaningless number. As you say, that creates a tribalism-like group. At least on Facebook there is a better range of expressing reactions.

I love the idea of being able to tag comments with reactions (smile, laugh, shock, anger, fear, etc). I would totally go for that! I'm not fond of the idea of introducing a system similar to likes/dislikes, upvotes/downvotes, etc here, though - I suspect that in the end, it would lead to a whole lot more angry flagging for me to deal with.

(I'm thinking about all the Reddit conversations I've seen where the downvoting sparked conversations like "WHY ARE YOU ALL DOWNVOTING ME?!" and people arguing back, trolling them, or replying "THE PEOPLE DOWNVOTING YOU ARE ALL STUPID AND IN DENIAL!" and getting downvoted in turn and the cycle begins anew. I know things can get heated here sometimes, so I'd worry we could have a similar problem. Emojis are a little less black/white, negative/positive.)

UCpaaHVg6u0

@cuddlerforu24 Forgive me if I am dubious about people being placated enough with a toggle that gives thumbs up or down, such that they would elect to mellow out on personal attacks. If anything, it fosters a competitive atmosphere rather than a cooperative community of friends. If people are not adult enough to pass on vindictive behavior, how is it that they are okay to vote on other people's opinions? A good proportion of people here haven't experienced life before internet social media, at least as adults. I'll just drop it, I guess, and keep the grumbling to myself.

cuddlerforu24

@HCpaaHVg..... i see the competiveness thing... I’m sure thee re +’s and -‘s about the votes , and for those who preach self awareness , maybe this is just the thing for those they are trying to reach , maybe even the preachers will discover a thing about themselves ....

Drop_the_Mike

I think a “like” button is an awesome idea!!

@UCpaaHVg6u0 I see no grumbling! Your opinion is as valid as everyone else's here. The moderators have casually talked about this among themselves before, but I don't think a consensus was ever reached. I think it's cool that the discussion has reached the general board. I like reading the different trains of thought on it.

CuddleDuncan

I can't imagine this would ever happen, if only because it's not clear to me how it would increase site revenue or the number of members.

Anonymity is not good in a community where we are trying to build trust.

And neither is the crude simplicty of 'like' or 'dislike'. Better to have 4 - 7 specific icons, each representing a clear response:

I liked your profile but I live too far away
It's a great profile but I'm not a potential cuddle buddy/client because we don't match on core criteria like gender
One of your pictures is just a great photo!

Any other suggestions?

As for forum posts, rather than having a simple button response, how about some kind of free text field, where you could write a response.....

Although I suppose a button system might act as a gateway drug for lurkers.

I'm not a fan of this idea. I can only see it turning the site into

A ) A popularity contest.
B ) A three ring circus of drama and bruised egos.
Or
C ) A Mad Max fight to the death between the downvoters and the downvotees. (Unlikely, but hey, weirder things have happened)

MaullySterling

I'd like a ♥️ button on posts, just so I don't have to comment, to say "hey that was funny", "I'm sorry that happened to you", or whatever. I think it would mean more interaction

Dante_S

If I’ve stumbled across a profile I’ve really enjoyed… I’ll totally message them.

Because positive messages are always nice to hear. Even if I’m crazy far away.

And puts a smile on my face when I’ve had others do the same to mine

UKGuy

I am strongly against any kind of like or unlike buttons. They discourage diverse opinions and make posts become a popularity contest. I also don't see the point of a like button on a profile, why not just send the person a short message? I do that all the time. I never expect a response and usually don't get one, although sometimes I get a simple "Thanks".

Mark

This topic gets brought up every year or so and it definitely warrants thoughtful discussion.

A change like this needs a very clear risk/reward argument. This is not a case of adding a feature to a website and seeing how it goes. It's about introducing a powerful variable to an ecology of mind space that is successful and thriving.

Please keep your opinions coming.

cuddlerforu24

I think it could be used as a tool for the website to gauge sentiment on some “ sensitive “ themes and topics that are brought up . Some folks may not want to publically post a opposing viewpoint against a majority in a discussion . One reason for being anonymous ... it is a safeguard for them , they wouldn’t be trolled on the forum in other discussions they might be part of . I do agree there might be abuse tho

@Mark I forgot to add - I think if we were to do "reaction shortcuts", we should show the names of the people reacting. This morning I saw a few comments I didn't have any sort of substantial response for, but I would have liked to give a reaction to them. I do think it could drive engagement in the forums (maybe let some lurkers test the waters).

But I do see your point - I don't know if the potential increase in engagement would outweigh the risk of changing something that is already working quite well. Shortcuts could also make people lazy, and it could lead to less commenting, which would be a shame.

Like and unlike buttons are just another form of judgement over another human.
Rating someone's commentary serves no useful purpose whatsoever.

Mark

I don't know if the potential increase in engagement would outweigh the risk of changing something that is already working quite well.

The type of engagement we want to improve/maintain is important to identify as well.

For example, is improving lurker interaction a meaningful objective? I don't think so. If lurkers vanished, we wouldn't notice. Whereas, if regular contributors decline, this community goes along with them.

Although I suppose a button system might act as a gateway drug for lurkers.

Yes, that's possible. It's equally possible that it has the opposite effect. Lurkers could find less incentive to make the jump to a contributor if the urge to express themselves and feel involved is satisfied by clicking an emoji.

UKGuy

There is nothing to prevent someone who likes or dislikes a post from posting their own comment in response. I've often seen this. I agree with @Mmart (there's an example for you).

Catloaf

I’m not a fan of reaction buttons for the same reason @UKGuy mentioned. I think that while the profile reaction is a sweet idea, I’m more in favour of the old school system. Shoot your shot and learn to approach people the organic way. That’s one way we work on our ability to handle rejection and expectations. Take that away and we might see interaction on the site change drastically either way.

Maybe I’m overthinking it but I feel like some people might get comfortable behind an option like this, and just start using the addition to react to profiles, similar to swiping left or right on dating apps. Plus, how would we deter people from manipulating their own numbers? Would they be publicly displayed, or only available to the owner of the profile? I feel like this is asking for some egocentric folks to give themselves extra pats on the back.

Hmm. This notion sounds familiar somehow.

Well, I don't think an option to leave a "like" on somebody's profile would do me, personally, much good. If I want to tell someone I like their profile, I use the message button and tell them so, in detail and in my own words.

Same goes for forum posts. If all I've got to say is "👍🏽" ...really, why bother? Without originality, personality, thought—well, what's the point?

That's how I feel about it, anyway.

@DarrenWalker

I second how you feel about this.

It also just strikes me as lazy—the written equivalent of grunting.

sunnysideup

I suppose on a controversial thread, it can help those who want to support someone's point of view but fear backlash. However this might make it so that whatever the popular opinion is, automatically gets a ton of likes and 'wins,' drowning out reason with popularity. This happens sometimes already but I think this function would push it further in that direction.

But other than that, I agree with the others that it feels lazy. Why did you like it, what did you like about it? And particular to me, since I so infrequently get messages, I'd much rather get a message on my profile than a like. If I see someone's profile I like that's far away, I might end up messaging them anyway. I've done that before. Most of the time, I don't receive a message back. However, I have gotten few good chats even if it didn't lead up to a cuddle. A couple turned into possible connections that I may meet up if I go traveling their way.

Hmm... the more viewpoints I read, the more I find my own view shifting against the idea of likes/dislikes/reaction buttons. You guys are making really good points. It's seeming less and less beneficial to add this kind of feature to our little cuddle community.

CuddleDuncan

We need to distinguish more clearly between like buttons for profiles, and like buttons for forum posts. Two different things.

Regarding forum posts, how would this thread have been better with like buttons?