You lovely people aren’t being completely honest I’m afraid. I think it’s difficult to be honest about such things because nobody wants to be a terrible person; Or considered to discriminate or be racists. Completely understandable.
I’m not trying to upset anyone here, but a lot of these things you’re saying about preferences and whatever sound good, but the result is the same.
I’m Black, i have biases, prejudices and all that. It takes a truly introspective moment to admit that and no one really wants to see it in themselves. Bias is usually unintentional and it comes from external sources.
This world has thousands of years learning and because we want to be better people now some of these things will take many many years to unlearn.
We’ve learned some nasty things in life and believe me depending on your position in it will dictate how you experience it.
Now i may have missed a comment where someone nailed it, and explained it perfectly. But using certain words to make your bias and discrimination justifiable is not change the action or the effect.
I hope i didn’t rub you the wrong way, i just want to give you some more to think about. Respectfully, from a tall, fairly attractive, intelligent, well read, non aggressive, educated male that always smells good who is trying to unlearn machismo and patriarchal thoughts and never has a thought of violence.
@BashfulLoner Love the thoughtful comment. Totally agree, unlearning is a process we should all take responsibility for, and challenging and questioning our initial reactions to people/situations to discover those biases is key to breaking them down.
I guess feel like this: color doesn’t matter, mood does. Music is generally my mood setter. For others, it’s movies or TV.
I am white, but grew up in the 70s and 80s when we were all raised to get along with everyone. My wife is latina and I dated all races before marriage.
I like all kinds of music, and that’s my cuddle fuel. So, if I’m in the mood to listen to the Spinners or Dionne Warwick, I’d prefer to be cuddling a black woman my age who also grew up listening to that music so we could share the emotion and joy together. It would just seem more natural that way to me.