How many hugs do we need a day for our health?

MattsWeather

I’ve heard before that we need many hugs per day for our overall health and well-being. Though it is surprising to see the high number of hugs it is recommended that we actually need. Keep in mind this recommendation does not come from cuddlers or anyone who is particularly pro touch. It’s based in science. I doubt any of us get anywhere near the recommended number of hugs. Also, for a hug to count as having healing benefits, the embrace needs to last at least 20 seconds. So I’ve attached a poll out of curiosity.

MiniatureGeek

Since I live alone I get 0 per day, and with family 2 states away very low hugs per month

NicoSnuggs

I hug my pillow at least 8 times a day…does that count tho?

If I got that many hugs a day, I might not need to be here.

ggiaquin

uses this poll for confirmation bias of my own unhealthy ways

I'm not sure Virginia Satir was a scientist, as such, but it's a pretty sound recommendation for a family therapist to make, I guess.

Personally, I think the number of hugs needed probably varies from person to person.

pmvines

I dont believe you need hugs to be healthy and I dont believe that it really improves health to be honest anymore than doing any number of other enjoyable or stress reducing activities. I will say though to not focus on the numberl of hugs. Focus on who or what you are hugging , what they or it means to you , and how that makes you feel. Quality not quantity.

Id say about 50

There are never enough.

Snugglebugg96

@NicoSnuggs no that does not count lol
@arghdaddy i agree

MattsWeather

@NicoSnuggs I wish it counted! I also wonder if weighted blankets suffice at all to meet this need. I think probably not because, just like cuddling, the magic of a hug is the blend of the touch involved with the human connection that only a person can offer in being present for a hug.
@DarrenWalker Yeah I honestly didn't research who was behind these recommendations very much. I just know it's not a professional cuddler coming up with a random number on a whim.
@pmvines I agree with you on one piece, I know many people where touch is just not their thing and so I agree for them this recommendation definitely doesn't apply. But for those of us who love cuddling up close with people and find comfort in touch, I do believe in the healing benefits physical embrace has. Embracing someone releases feel good chemicals oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin in our brain. Boosting our mood, easing depression symptoms and reducing stress hormones that can take a toll on us long-term. There are certainly other ways to boost those chemicals in our brains, which those that aren't fond of touch can do, but hugging is such an easy and fun one for us cuddlers.

I’d prefer to find a way to be a koala attached to a giant human being all day. So one multi-hour hug.

pmvines

@MattsWeather I hear you. I prefer quality over quantity.

Any number with good intentions. I'll take a hand hold and eye gazing if done with someone special

TheFunCartel

@ewe Ever eye gazed someone with lazy eye? It is relaxing but you get nothing done.

@FunCartel I have never eye gazed someone with lazy eye... Any tips?

TheFunCartel

@ewe Get everything you need to get done before you cuddle because you will find yourself procrastinating after eye gazing with a person who has lazy eye.

MattsWeather

@Chris55555 Omg I love holding a cuddle partner like a koala bear and visa versa if they are strong enough!! It’s one of my most favorite positions! I literally ask if they want to climb me and hug me like a koala bear hugs a tree, I wouldn’t know how else to describe it to someone that doesn’t know the position I’m talking about. It’s to bad you live so far, I’d love to try and hold you up for an hour or two.
@pmvines Now I understand what you meant and I get that. Who would want 8 quick lousy hugs instead of 1 good cuddle session.

pmvines

@MattsWeather exactly

Babichev

I’d like to see the research.

Exactly how did they determine this? In what country? Among what group of people?

What constitutes a hug? If you have a partner with whom you sleep and part of the time you are cuddling, does that count? If you’re a mom with young children hanging all over you every day til you get to where you absolutely do not want to be touched, how does that fit in?

How does age and sex affect one’s desire or need for touch? How does one’s culture? Does it have to be hugs? What about hand holding? Lap sitting?

In Kenya, it is common for adult men to walk hand in hand with their male friends. In Nepal, it was not unusual to see a young man sitting on his friend’s lap, the two of them telling each other funny stories and laughing uproariously.

I distrust anyone who pronounces we “need” X many hugs per day. However, I do know that most primates (and we are primates) spend about 30% of their waking time either grooming each other or sitting close together.

TheFunCartel

@Babichev Many of the primates huddle together because the other primates are flinging shit…they compete to be in the inner circle and not get hit by the flung fecal bombs…kind of like a day in Washington DC.

Amortentia

I think for me 1 hug a day for maintenance and 3 hugs a day for growth. 8-12 hugs a day seems a bit excessive to me but maybe it is just my introvertedness talking.

Babichev

@DarrenWalker - I have not heard anyone mention Virginia Satir for a long time but I did therapy with someone who studied with her. A search on PubMed does not turn up much in the way of formal published research papers.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=Satir+V&cauthor_id=24271514

However, her Wikipedia page shows she was highly regarded and influential. She is considered the mother of family therapy.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Satir

@FunCartel , I don’t know about the shit flinging, I’m just repeating what Robert Sapolsky said. He studied baboons in Kenya for 30 years. He didn’t mention no shit-flinging. However, he did say they harass each other a lot. He would periodically take blood samples. He used them as a model for living with chronic low-grade stress. He’d monitor their behavior - they have a strict hierarchy - and then compare the levels of various hormones with things like who is getting harassed and who is doing the harassing.

I've been told that all humans need at least 8 hugs a day, as well as ten minutes of continuous hand holding, and eighty heartbeats worth of sustained eye contact—or else their four humors will be all out of whack. Specifically, one's black bile.

Well, I'm taking that as my prescription for better health then. Makes sense.

BrianL

On average, I get 0 hugs a day.