Does anyone else ever get emotional when they cuddle ,like tearful and stuff. Does it trigger and bring up stuff for you . ? How do you deal with it ? Should we deal with it or honestly let it show .?
I have had men cry while I hold them with their heads cuddled up against my chest and I have had men hold me while I cried. It wasn't the cuddling itself that brought the tears, it was what one of us was going through, or the movie we were watching. We all get hurt in this life, and I think it's healthy to let it out with supportive people. I don't think it's good for humans to suppress emotions and not deal with them.
No not really. Then again I am at least partially dead inside
Thankyou for the replies...Yes I totally agree it's right and healthy for us to let emotions out....sometimes I feel embarrassed about that , I know I shouldn't. For me it's the act of cuddling itself that stirs those feelings up... could go back to my background where I was never cuddled as a child.
I actually relate to this so much. I’m a big feeler, so a lot of the time when I’m snuggled up with someone (not as a pro — I need to put my emotions aside to a certain extent when dealing with clients) I may cry because I’m just feeling so much. This often scares whoever my romantic partner is at the time, as I usually get my needs for touch met through that container when I’m not single. I have to explain that they’re tears of healing and remembrance.
Cuddling with a respectful male in particular takes me back to when I was 13 or 14, and my grandpa and I had a nice snuggle on the couch. I was seriously depressed at the time and I had tears soaking his shirt. He didn’t say anything. It was the last time a family member has ever cuddled me without me having to ask, and I miss him so damned much. Apparently he didn’t even really snuggle his children past a certain age, so this was an honour, especially given that he was a stoic and quietly intense personality to deal with. I was definitely grandpa’s little darlin’.
So when I’m taken back to that feeling, which I can never have from him again here on Earth, yes, I may cry. This is a display of grief, which in itself is not a bad or loathsome thing. Crying during a cuddle is totally normal. It can say a lot about what your founding experiences were with cuddling, or even touch in general. Point being, it’s natural even if it doesn’t feel like it. Just feel the things. They are there to feel.
@Catloaf I loved your grandpa story. I only wish I could have met mine.
@Catloaf I love this “I have to explain that they’re tears of healing and remembrance”
When I cuddled I just felt happy *with no tears *. Though what you should do depends on how comfortable you are with letting your vulnerablity show to the person you are with.
Years ago I answered a classified for a cuddle buddy, and was super unprepared when they cried basically the entire time. Honestly scared me away from the whole scene.
I’ve done a lot of research since then, and wish I could have a do-over with her where I’d be much more supportive than freaked out.
@Catloaf Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you have such a strong memory tied to him like that. Reminds me of when my grandmother hugged me like an empty Gogurt when I left for college, and she never hugged ANYONE.
C'mere @pmvines.
I think it's a worthy thing to check out with a potential cuddle partner. How do you feel about crying? I'm down with crying, downright sobbing even. But I know not everyone feels comfy with it.
I hide sad feelings until a deeper state of comfort arrives. I also will reach into someone's state of sorrow or hurt when I feel they're in an okay place. There have also been tears as a relief from being cuddled. So yes, it has happened here. I prefer it when happiness is dominant, but not at the expense of keeping it real.
@PeopleLikeUs yes I'm with you there with what you say. Tears of relief is apt and believe me happiness is dominant.
I have never sobbed uncontrollably not ever would intend to . I'm talking about a few tears that come out ,that's all.
@Źacredbear your cuddler must have been in a really vulnerable state of mind. I think I wouldve tried to communicate with them and just hold them
I am on the no cry list. I put on Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” and proceed from there.
Seriously though, I have yet to have someone cry. I think they wait until they leave and cry with regret later to spare my feelings.
Yes, it's very common. And yes, in general you should let it out. If you can't be emotional during a cuddle then I'm not sure where you can be.
Remember that cuddling is primarily an emotional activity. The physical/touch part of it is obviously really important, but it's not at the heart of what's happening. It's hardly surprising that emotions should come out during an emotional activity.
For the record, I have cried during a cuddle more than once, and i've had people cry on me.
Thanks for that cuddleduncan.
I keep tissues nearby in my cuddle space just for this reason, I think of it as a high honor when someone can be vulnerable enough to cry in a session. Last week a client soaked my t-shirt with tears and it was incredibly moving for me, she released a lot of pain.
I'm so glad you have this outlook @Mare _Bear. Yiu know I said I'd never get too emotional? I think at the right time and with the 'right' person that release will happen anyway . I'm so glad you were able to let this person be real and release their pain . God knows I think a lot of us will need to ,especially after the last few years .
@izzabelle
I recant my previous post about no one crying as I related a story about someone crying on the “How did you stumble on to CC?” Thread. It wasn’t a cuddle but a hug.
I think it happened to me in a couple sessions I've had. I didn't see it coming either. But, I honestly feel my day was so overwhelming... and maybe I needed the cuddles more than they did. But they just hugged the ish out of me harder, I don't think they minded.
But in general.. this is my fix it. Huggies heal me alot. I used to sit on my ex-partners lap and he would huggie me when I had overwhelming days. It literally takes everything away in a relief type of way at that moment.
Its natural...The body feels safe enough to release and that is a precious and wonderful gift. This is part of the educational aspect of safe and nurturing cuddling. Enjoy that release.