That you cuddle others or that you’re part of a cuddling community, regardless if you’re an enthusiast or pro? ☁️
It's important that everything is above-board in a relationship. For those that answered 'no', take it from me: open communication is necessary for a long-term relationship. I've been monogamous for more than 10 years, and having an emotional connection means being truthful as much as you can. Her and I can speak about anything, including my needs. If your SO can't fulfill those needs for whatever reason, it's not shameful to admit you need more.
As a side note, I do feel like being in a relationship limits possible cuddlers. I understand not wanting to be part of drama, especially if it's a secret cuddling dalliance. I think having things out in the open keeps everyone out of drama, and fosters emotional growth.
My partner knows and supports it
My previous S/O of 9 years was my wingman. I love him for that, and for supporting my involvement in the community. It wasn't always easy for him because he came from a very religious family where stuff like this would be...well, not talked about, yet he was very open-minded and I'm glad he was open-minded enough to encourage me through it. We had time on our side, and we had tried the open relationship thing too (didn't work for us). So there weren't really any insecurities as far as jealousy of other people (mainly men) coming into contact with my body. Unfortunately in a family like his, cultural conditioning is at the root. So when the tensions between myself and his family's manipulation came to a head, he ultimately chose them. We're still great friends, and I recently got in touch with him about maybe doing some new photos for my site, and for CC next time I'm in Alberta.
Following our separation early last year I had a very close gaming friend out here in Ontario who turned into a partner for about six months, and he knew I was a professional cuddler long before we entered a relationship. I even suggested he hire one when he first told me about his loneliness and touch deprivation, but he preferred a relationship for that. Just a little over a year later we'd confess we liked each other and wanted to try it out. I was on hiatus during the course of that partnership until basically a month or two ago. We had separated in February due to unrelated reasons. I always wonder what he would have thought of me entering back into this world and if he would truly accept it. He believed in the concept, but believing in it is one thing. Supporting it in real time is another.
I intend on staying single for a long, long time now though. I'm focused on work, and getting my dream grounded here in Ontario. Next time I try dating again, I'd hope I could find someone who was just as supportive of the work as my first S/O was, but maybe someone who is also into it as a hobby as well. It's my dream date night to go to Cuddle Party with a partner, and introduce them to one of the ways I want to take the work further. Bonus points if they'd volunteer to start a cuddle puddle with me.
I think being completely honest and upfront with your partner is vital to a successful relationship. CC is strictly a platonic website, however people that don't understand the cuddling community may struggle to get that, espicially if you imply there is anything worth hiding. My partner knows if and when I'm cuddling someone, both for security but also because I'm a firm believer that honesty is everything. Please tell your S/Os! x
@Big_Chris thank you soo much for that! I was 1 of the ones to vote no, & you genuinely made me rethink this & reconsider, thank you!! 🌌
@ILikeWarmHugs that is really amazing !! Really blessed 🌎
@Catloaf ty for sharing with us, really !! I feel like I have a good sense of who you are & your perspective is so appreciated, really good read ✨
@Herty I’m gonna politely disagree , although I agree with you that being completely honest with your partner is vital, just like others before you have mentioned in the comments (& I completely agree), there are many who do not want to hurt our spouses/ partners / significant other and/or make them feel insecure … cuddling is very intimate, & intimacy isn’t just sex… sometimes in a relationship one partner may love / need & desire the act of cuddling / closeness / & the other may not require it & will express their love in various other ways … also it is possible that many have voiced to their partners how important this closeness is to them, and they might compromise to make you happy when not genuinely being the cuddle/comforting type / or just not be willing to … 🌱
I wouldn't cuddle others if I am in a relationship. Wouldn't want a partner who is into that either. The most others might* get from me are occasional bro hugs. Unless someone is really dealing with something like the death of a family. Then I wouldn't mind giving them a full hug. Otherwise I'd limit getting touchy with others. Handshakes are alright though.
@cuddles_ndream regardless if it hurts one's partner to know that 'you' (a general you) want to cuddle with others, it is important to be honest. If the person is uncomfortable with it AND finds out they've been lied to (by omission) it can hurt them even more, especially if they cared about you or felt connected to you. By not telling them, it is also forcing them into a relationship dynamic that they don't or may not have* consented to otherwise.
@Lovelight I haven’t booked a cuddle here in many months (maybe closed to a year) for that very reason you mention (lying by omission) & it will hurt / bother me to be on the other end of that rope, but I do understand those that do (the ones with no alternative motives) & yes you & big chris have really spoken to me & I’m sure others on this thread 💫
I was a bit nervous about telling my wife about cuddling. As it turned out, we ended up having a great discussion about it and she actually encouraged me to find a cuddle buddy. I've had a couple cuddles with pros and they were happy to know that my wife knew and supported my cuddling.
I was nervous to tell my girlfriend, but she could tell my heart was in the right place. She became curious enough to offer to come along for triple cuddles, we did one together, and we had a great time!
Then she started her own solo gigs, had a great lineup right away, but one guy pushed her boundaries too far. She deactivated her account she was so upset.
So the next time a guy wants to complain about lack of female enthusiasts, remember that it only takes one monster to scare them away.
If you don't discuss it, they're an INSIGNIFICANT other
@MaullySterling Touche'!
I choose to not tell my wife, not because of the cuddling aspect, but, because she would be upset that I'm spending money.
@MaullySterling
I've noticed as a pro none of my clients are honest with their partners/spouses. It really bothered me because I believe in honesty so much... but another cuddler told me that back when she was in a loveless marriage she could have benefited from this service.. so I stopped judging and let people just keep it a secret.
Myself, I always tell romantic partners. If they aren't ok with this huge part of my life, well. I encourage people to do what's best for themselves and if the jealousy is strong they are welcome to go look for what they need. Radical monogamy? I don't know.
Whooo this felt a bit incoherent and rambling! I'm always honest about this part of my life and every part really!
@vivalalife after noticing that none of your clients were honest with their partners/spouses about cuddling, did you (or do you) feel like they are cheating on them with you?
The combination of @MaullySterling 's comment and @squeakytoy 's gif (one of my all-time favourites) made me:
Admittedly I started in this work and it legit did not occur to me that maybe I should tell my partner about this (seriously, I was that dense. I have stories about other dense moments like this in my life...). It finally hit me after the 3rd or 4th session I did with a client that maybe he should know, so I drove over and told the guy I was dating at the time in person. He was concerned at first because he thought I was doing this out of something he wasn't able to provide for me (which I reassured him I wanted to do this, not that I pursued it because he couldn't live up to expectations), but otherwise he was okay. We broke up for unrelated reasons entirely.
My partner now? The most supportive person I could possibly have, and it helps that he knew right from the beginning (though dating on Coffee Meets Bagel was an ongoing nightmare of "You're a professional cuddler? I'm a professional cuddler too..." messages left and right before then). I've noticed that diving deeper into this work the past few years has changed how I communicate with him for the better. It's definitely more healthy than I used to in previous relationships.
I do notice that the majority of my clients don't feel comfortable with their spouses knowing, but one of my favorite examples is an open/poly married client I have. After his first session with me, his wife saw him after and was literally like "Whoa, you seem WAY better. So when are you going back to see her?" She even drove him to his most recent session with me. It was so cute! I don't think you need to be poly to be able to talk about it, and the big thing is being able to have conversations around it not meaning anything about lack of commitment to the partner (if that's the case), and that you'll still be coming back home to them (if that's the case). Monogamy really needs majorly clear communication about your actions not meaning that you're any less devoted to them.
I’ve mentioned it in other posts. My wife was the one who pushed me to look elsewhere for my “cuddle” needs. She’s not at all into it. But she never asks me when I’m going for a session or anything like that. The least disruption to our time together the better in her perspective.
Yes, both should have other partners and share. I have and it adds energy to a relationship. I have also cuddled married women with husband in house and there was no problem. It's all in the attitude.
My current person said (when another cuddle friend reached out to me), "You should go." But I couldn't go. All of a sudden, I just wanted to stay put. I hope they understand and weren't hurt by my not making myself available.
I'm gonna go check in... >
I made it plain up front that I cuddled people, belonged to this site, and wouldn't be stopping that for the world. That said, I don't have much time left over for cuddling peeps from here because I'm snuggling this fellow so much.
@littermate ~ Whoot!! Yay!!
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@quixotic_life Woot for the way I made it plain, or for the fact that I'm cuddling a fellow up regularly?
@littermate ~ Both!! It's now a double Whoot~whoot!!
Tbh though, I was stoked you found a regular fellow for cuddling up with! Squee ~ I'm so happy for you!! 💓
Squee indeed @quixotic_life! Total squee. Squee with a healthy side of whoot-whoot and some yippy-tai-yai-yo thrown in there as well.