I’m sorry. That was a new one for me. Um. Is that a thing? What do you even do?
It's a thing. You video chat with a person who is extra nice to you. They might instruct you to hug yourself or something similar. Some people are into it. Some people think it's completely absurd.
In the depths of COVID times it was a nice way to connect with people who were otherwise isolated. There are activities that trick the brain so to speak to feel connected such as butterfly hugs, eye gazing, mirrored self touch (G rated). It was really good to provide that when nothing else was available, I'm not sure that virtually cuddling now would make sense but it is available. I was isolated for months and I was glad to trick my brain to feel less alone for a little while.
It was discussed quite a bit in this thread: https://cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10859/virtual-cuddle-sessions-your-opinions-please/p1
It’s also great for cuddlers who want to interact but don’t live anywhere near. I have cuddled with people states away! Have had some really positive experiences.
@BmoreCuddly that's wonderful
SnapChat-Lite
@sunnysideup Thanks for linking the earlier discussion. I just read it through to its conclusion. @GracieGirl led the discussion thoughtfully and respected different viewpoints.
Another way for pros to make $$$
It is indeed a Thing. It's easier to understand once you remember that cuddling is primarily an emotional activity, not a physical one.
It's noticeable that the disparagers have either not had such a session at all, or describe it in terms like 'just a chat'. If you think it's 'just a chat' then you're not doing it right.
@CuddleDuncan: Eh... I'd say it's easier to understand once you remember that cuddling is more of an emotional activity than a physical one for some people.
For me, if there's no physical contact, there's no cuddle. My body doesn't produce the endorphins—I don't get the benefits.
And if I cuddle a filthy, Trump-loving, hate-spouting hobo who's recently announced that he just got out of jail? I get the endorphins. Just how my body works: emotions don't enter into it at all for me. There's no way cuddling could ever be primarily an emotional activity for me.
I'm almost definitely an extreme case, but I think there are plenty of folks enough like me that cuddling is definitely, definitely a primarily physical activity for them. For folks like us, virtual cuddling is... well... inaccessible.
Oh well—that's life. Different strokes and all that!
I've done virtual sessions before. With quite a few people actually. And I wouldn't describe myself as a disparager really, I enjoyed most of them.
But, in my experience, it really is just a chat. Nobody has ever suggested to do anything besides just talk. And I'm not sure I would have enjoyed whatever else people apparently do - self touch exercises, breathing exercises, etc, are probably not for me.
IMO, if you've got a little time and money to burn, you could use some company, and you'd like to meet somebody new who's not local to you, they can be worthwhile. Otherwise... kind of pointless. It's not cuddling.
A Skype session is whatever makes you comfortable! Some have the phone positioned so we’re chatting while laying down, or just simply sitting on a couch talking away. I’ve had some that like to sing with me, others play word games or board games. Some want me to teach yoga. I’m certainly open to learning new ways to Skype!
@DarrenWalker There is some emotional component to cuddling for me; However, while I tried virtual cuddling before and it was nice, it wasn't close enough to a physical cuddle for me to get the benefits I was looking for. But some people really enjoy them, everyone is different.
Aww thank you @cualtzin - really appreciated 🤗
To add to what @Mare_Bear said, virtual cuddle sessions were born out of the pandemic, they did not exist before March 2020. Just like most doctors and mental health professionals moved over to doing primarily telehealth video appointments when Covid started, cuddlers created there own version of a telehealth session as an alternative to completely shutting down during the height of the pandemic. Now that we seem to be near the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to Covid, many cuddlers offer regular cuddle sessions again, with the option of a virtual session remaining if someone wants it. The same why the medical field will be forever changed with telehealth sessions remaining an option not because of the pandemic, but because they have become quite popular and increase access to care. Though a key thing about virtual cuddling is like @DarrenWalker said, there is not any actual cuddling taking place because you can't physically touch someone through a screen. To me virtual cuddle sessions are more accurately described as virtual companionship sessions.
@MattsWeather
"...virtual companionship sessions."
Virtual companionship.
Perfect. Or at least far better than "virtual cuddling" as a term. It accurately describes what's going on without missing any critical elements that make up an activity where you touch another human—namely the bit where two humans touch.
Great. Now sentimental people can stop their ridiculous attempts to convince less sentimental people of what constitutes cuddling.
You're a hero. Thank you.
This comment, I like it. Not everybody is deep and that's okay. I think most of us would agree that cuddling means different things to different people, but some people really do peddle the snake oil as if that's the only experience you can get or understand.
I want to make it clear that there's nothing wrong with not being able to separate cuddling from relationships or sex, but yeah, if you are on this site and hoping to come here looking for either of those things, you know where you can stick your opinion. Message to anyone who is thinking about it: don't attribute my comment above to your negative feelings about the TOS. I just realized this is probably an angle I should have covered.
Sometimes nobody's around. Sometimes scheduling doesn't work. Sometimes people are flaky. Sometimes you're getting enough of whatever else you are with others and there's certain things you can't talk about or explore with them anyway. Sometimes you just need somebody to talk to about things others won't be sympathetic to or might worry them unnecessarily (like my broken lung or my interest in music or my feelings on people).
Virtual/video/whatever can be a form of therapy.
If all you see in the site is "cuddle", you're missing half of the site. Sometimes a cuddle isn't enough, sometimes it's not needed at all. Sometimes just someone to listen or be listened to or find some comfort with that you can't find locally or fly or drive to (or that can visit) is what you need. So don't get stuck on the "cuddle" part.
Sometimes in-person cuddles and virtual chats are better than therapy, better than friends, better than family, and better than a lot of other things... and let's not forget how much of a niche thing a cuddle site is, and how many of us know people that would laugh at it and frown on it and our preferences, much like many in-person cuddle supremacists would do the same thing for people who've found many of the same rewards over phone or video. A person you're interacting with is a person either way, not a robot.
@DarrenWalker I think I am more of an emotional cuddler, having been somewhat touch-averse almost my entire life. While I need physical touch, I do get more mentally/emotionally out of "cuddle comfort" than physically. Sorry, everyone.
@DarrenWalker Holy crap, man! This really stood out to me. You could get endorphins from cuddling someone like the person you described here? I feel like all I'd get is cortisol and adrenaline.
@squeakytoy: There were two of them, actually. It was around midnight and I'd just picked up some ramen from Walmart—there was a patch of grass beside the parking lot.
I dunno, man. The way my body works is weird even to me sometimes.
@DarrenWalker WAIT HOL UP YOU ACTUALLY DID THIS??
@squeakytoy: Yeah, that's how I know whereof I speak. I'm not just guessing here or anything.
...They wanted to share a six-pack and vent about their lives. I don't drink (especially not with strangers, from an unknown can), but I pretended. It worked out all right. And I got very thoroughly snuggled. One on each side!
me: spends life worrying about physical safety and being cautious of strangers in general, avoiding any who give off even a hint of a red flag, and never leaving the apartment after 10pm
@DarrenWalker : TODAY I'M GOING TO CUDDLE TWO ANGRY STRANGERS FRESH OUT OF JAIL WHO I JUST MET AT MIDNIGHT OUTSIDE A WALMART
Daaaaamn! Respect. Did you guys share the ramen?
And if I cuddle a filthy, Trump-loving, hate-spouting hobo who's recently announced that he just got out of jail?
That sounds much too hygienic for me. I personally prefer jumping into dumpsters and cuddling with the rotting garbage, as well as a few rodents and raccoons! The Novocaine helps when they try to push my boundaries by kissing me. The dead bodies and trash juice add an element of aromatherapy. The future is derelict! /s
@squeakytoy: Hahaha! It's a wonder I'm still alive. Anyway, no—I bought the kind you make on a stove, not the instant.
Besides which, heck if I'm gonna share my hard-earned food with two people whose stated goals in life include buying a camper and filling it with guns, and living on a boat filled with guns (so that, as they put it, they can shoot any liberal [censored] who tries to take away their liberties).
That ramen was all mine.
@Catloaf: Pffft. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I finally spotted your comment.
To add to what @Mare_Bear said, virtual cuddle sessions were born out of the pandemic, they did not exist before March 2020.
This is not true. I know for sure of several I had starting in September 2019, and I think I had them prior to that (although I'm not 100% sure about part).
I'm also not completely sure people were calling them "virtual cuddle session", they may have just said "we can do a video chat", but there's zero practical difference between the video chats I did in 2019 and the "virtual cuddle sessions" I did in 2020.