I'm an amateur boxer, and in a way the confidence I've gained from that allows me to be "softer" in my day to day life.
Meaning I already do something tough and rugged, just as a hobby, and that gives me a reference point for masculinity. So hugging a guy friend, or holding space for my male friends while they are struggling, or telling my childhood friends that I love them and care about them, all things which may be considered not manly by society, have no negative impact on my self image as a man.
In fact, I think its masculine to be able to do those things.
@FunCartel "**Auto tune also helped Kanye immensely"
Not with, "Through the Wire." Theres a huge story behind that track. I should note, Kanye is an amazing producer. Before he started rapping, he produced a ton of hits from respected artists including a few Jay-Z's albums, I don't think he should have ever picked up a mic, to be honest, but I do love what he's doing with his church thing.
“ Kanye is an amazing producer. Before he started rapping, he produced a ton of hits from respected artists including a few Jay-Z's albums, I don't think he should have ever picked up a mic, to be honest,” - @Saysoh
You really know your stuff!
@Saysoh my friend d us an artist and she sees her paintings and uses music to guide her just like you said she too has synesthesia I love to watch her paint and describe what’s she’s seeing while hearing music it’s such a calming process! Like a live Bob Ross painting
@Melomaniac9 "We as humans are built like hey! I want that one chair which can do everything, that’s putting too much pressure on that chair and it may ultimately give way and buckle under pressure. Same way I think it’s with humans we need different humans to fulfill different things."
Exactly.... And that's how I see things too.
Hi, so I think if we change the title of this thread it would help you get more feedback because I think this is a great topic...
I personally provide cuddling because I felt that my diverse work experience and personality were a great fit for this job. I have also always been the caregiver/people pleaser in my romantic and platonic relationships and it has not always been seen as a strong point for me so with this job I can be myself while being compensated for my time and energy.
I started cuddling because I felt that I had so much love bursting out of me, after having my daughter, and I was a single mother but did not want to date and so this seemed like a perfect way to get and give affection. I feel I can relate with others and see them for who they are which allows me to comfortably cuddle anyone of any gender/ethnicity/body type/disability ect ect ( meaning I think I can cuddle with any human as long as they are respectful).
Even though my focus has always been in providing the cuddling my client is requesting I have also felt the hugs back. There are times when I might not feel emotionally available to cuddle at which times I stay home because my goal is to help my client relax and for my client to have the experience their paying for.
There was one time that I felt I was not completely present with my cuddle and we talked about it and I offered a free follow up session to make sure he was feeling better with our time together. We're all human, we all have needs, but as a professional I know that the session is for the client. If I need to be cuddled I can hire a cuddler as well or I can arrange a cuddle with a friend that understands and can provide that.
@cuddle4health I changed the title. I want to reply and also thank you for you perspective, but not in a position to answer and comment in depth, but I will.
@alexis831 xoxoxo 💖
What do I get out of cuddling? Definitely the feeling of connection with somone:) I feel like for me cuddling feels like a deep state of meditation! Very in the moment where I can stop stressing, stop my racing mind and just relax. I love holding and helping people feel zen and cozy Sooo much! Cuddling helps my mental health also in my constant battle with depression. I try to cope with it with natural stuff and cuddling and talking with people helps Amazingly!! To me it dosnt matter pro or not as long as there's a connection. I just love cuddles and everyone to walk away after feeling zen and happy
Sorry... off topic for just a sec...
OMG! @frogtide ~ I love the visual your user name creates (and would love to see one in real life if a thing)!!
🐸🌊💓
Okay... Thanks. Now back to what y'all get from cuddling...
I became a full-time trained, certified and insured Professional Cuddler for many reasons: 1) I'm an extremely tactile person who never tires of giving or reviving touch or cuddles so I find this job never feels like 'work' to me 2) I have always wanted to have a career in a modality that helps people - I graduated with a degree in psychology and have a background in mental health, however I never felt emotionally resilient enough to help people with my words but I am extremely confident that I can help others by providing them with my touch and emotional support 3) I've always enjoyed going against the grain and using my voice to speak up for what I belive in. I feel I'm well suited to advocate for people to be able to easily access professional cuddling as a way to get their touch needs met - I really hope I can have a big impact in changing the negative stigma surrounding touch and also uncouple the idea that touch always needs to lead to sexual acts in the UK. 4) I really enjoy working for myself - I have chronic fatigue syndrome so cuddling as a career has really helped me improve my overall health and wellbeing as I can rest when my body requires it 5) I get to meet so many amazing clients and hear their stories - I always feel so honored that my cleints trust me to hold a safe space for them during the time they are with me 6) I find cuddling as a therapy/relaxation modality extremely rewarding. I've supported people through really hard times in their lives and this brings me so much pride and joy
My very first experience with cuddling as therapy was with a pro. Prior to this I had no idea this existed. I’ve mentioned this in prior posts that I grew up in a very caring/nurturing environment. Later in my adult life I’ve severely lacked that type of situation and I hadn’t realized how much I wanted and needed it, until my first experience. I agreed to a 1 hour session “just to try this out” and I have no idea what my pro may have been going through but we embraced as if our lives depended on it. It was an amazing experience but throughout our session I kept thinking and feeling like I was the therapist. Next thing you know It was 3 hours later. But it truly was a magnificent experience. We are “friends” to this day.
Speaking as a male pro, I have some lingering White Knight Syndrome; add on people-pleaser tendencies, and... I give a LOT. Growing up, I got a lot of, "Boys don't cry." All this in mind, holding another man (specifically), and letting them be as emotional as they want/can has helped me feel like I'm putting some major positivity in the world.
When I hired a pro, I think I felt that mutual vibe of fulfilment when she took care of me. I never thought to ask because like @Healing_Hugs , I'm much more confident with physical affection over verbal, so I allowed most of the session to go without talking.
To the people hiring cuddlers: What is the need in your life to hire a cuddler and have have you ever thought the person you hire may need to be cuddled more than you?
I have hired pro cuddlers and also been in long-term cuddle relationship with enthusiast from this site. My marriage is the opposite to typical stereotypes, in that I am quite tactile and my wife is decidedly not, which didn’t become apparent until many years down the line. I was going 18 months or more with even a cursory hug, let alone a cuddle!
I love cuddles for the oxytocin, for the intimacy of “just being close with someone”, and it’s completely platonic. Cuddling with a Pro further supports that, in that there are a set of behavioural rules/guidelines that must be adhered to. It does irritate me to hear that some Pros and enthusiasts (mainly female) have had some poor experiences from others (mainly guys) who “push the boundaries”. That places an onus on the rest of us guys to help even the Pros “feel safe”.
So, cuddling fills in a gap that is missing from my life, something that is an essential part of my existence. The Pros I’ve met all genuinely express that they have “something to give” and while it is something we pay for, has always felt altruistic. Maybe I’ve just met some really lovely Pros.
What ISN'T there in it for anyone seeking platonic touch and understanding?
Now, THAT. Is the question. The reasonable list is much smaller, I am sure.
@frogtide I hear & feel everything you say. You paint a perfect picture with your words.
“Definitely the feeling of connection with somone:) I feel like for me cuddling feels like a deep state of meditation! Very in the moment where I can stop stressing, stop my racing mind and just relax. I love holding and helping people feel zen and cozy Sooo much!”
I see it much the same way! My brain goes ssshhhuuussshhhh whilst being held! I’m a giver too, I think playing with my cuddle buddies hair and making circles on their back calms me more, I feel.
@Healing_Hugs 🙏🏼💖
@MissAdventurous
"What ISN'T there in it for anyone seeking platonic touch and understanding? " I think this should be more deeply defined specifically for a skeptic or anyone interested in the therapy having zero experience and I'm not just taking about me. I ended up on this website and have engaged my curiosity, so I'm think about the people that don't, right? Two of my beast friends of twenty-five years are women. Our friendships have been through the gamut sometimes as any friendship will spanning multiple decades.
"Now, THAT. Is the question. The reasonable list is much smaller, I am sure."
i'm still not sure what you're saying here. i'm not challenging you at all. I'm all peace. I just can't connect.