Sharing Our Experiences/Hopes to:

Lovelight

Ease our loneliness/lack of sufficient caring contact.

Me: I pretty much feel like Tom Hanks in Cast Away* when he got stranded on an island. So I am considering sustainable means of relief to supplement with til I adequately find the connections I seek. * A few of the most attainable options, for me, are: * considering someday owning massage devices and a hammock. As well as getting a professional massage or two to aid in finding what devices best match said experience. I am for minimalism. So hope I wouldn't have to turn my place of rest into a mini massage devices storage unit, to achieve the desired results. :P

In the meantime, I plan to locate one of those massage chairs that you put coins into to use for some minutes, if they are in service.

Sidenote: I am toying with the idea of owning a pet robot too. No pun intended whatsoever. On second thought, I'll probably stick to finding a virtual pet to keep me socially occupied for like 5 seconds. By any chance, does anyone here own a pet robot? Was it worth it for you? XD

Additionally, I'll consider volunteering in an animal* shelter in the future to see how that goes. I love pets, don't want them just to soothe my insufficient socialization and desire for cuddly life forms. So they will be in good hands. Then possibly foster some animals. Woohoo! As I am unable to own them in the foreseeable future.

How are you? If feeling similarly, what are you doing to help you get through it?

Lovelight

PS. I have been supplementing with ASMR and guided meditations every now and then. My hope for the future is to be able to have some amazing dreams/astral projection as well.

I so far achieved my goal of having a few spectacular dreams and would love to have more.

CuddleDuncan

Big hug for you @Lovelight

I use a backscratcher. Really helps.

Lovelight

@CuddleDuncan Backstretchers sound fantastic!

Cuddle_RN

@Lovelight, are you having difficulty finding cuddlers in your area?

cualtzin

@Lovelight I feel the same in many ways. I wish I had helpful advice. I just do my best to get through every day. And hopefully accomplish something, no matter how small. For me, work helps. I interact with people. And, for a while, I can forget about all this cuddling business. The challenge is being alone. There are many pleasant activities which can distract me. But when I feel a certain way, it’s difficult to seek out the things which I know will make me feel better. Music helps more than I could describe. I only recently heard of ASMR. But when I read the description I recognized the tingly rush I feel when I listen to music. I wish I could engage in directed dreaming. Sometimes the best part of my day is a good dream. And I linger in that half awake state so I can enjoy a little longer.

Lovelight

@Cuddle_RN I suppose so, difficulties* finding good ongoing connections with enthusiasts I mutually match well with: mainly due to reasons beyond our control. The current situation makes that and the usual socializing harder. Though it does me no good to have a pity party. Hence, my focus is to ideally find easily accessible and sustainable forms of supplementing my desires.

Hopefully someday, there will be advanced cuddly humanoid robots that wouldn't break the bank. Because most humans come and go. Though all these other forms of coping have a higher probability to be by my side and more easily replacable should they malfunction. 😊

Hope all is well on your side. 🌻

quixotic_life

@Lovelight ~

Not the usual way... but my broke self really wanted one of the massage chairs like my chiropractor had. Everything was adjustable and it did legs too! I joked with them if they ever wanted to find a home for one, I'd love to be considered. I was instructed to write out my contact info and tape it to the back of both chairs. Six months later, I got the call and scored a super high end massage chair, still in great condition, for well under a grand!

Also, my PT person hooked me up with a nice tens unit and high density extra long foam muscle roller for my back ~ bliss!!

So for sure ask those around you!

Will try to add the how and ways I'm coping later on... I need to think on it some because I often find myself questioning if I am... yet...

::added a spoiler to reduce my own clutter::

Melomaniac9

@Lovelight I really wish they could bring to life Baymax😍from the movie big hero 6!
I would beg! borrow or sshhhussh steal! and buy me one of those, so I could have an endless supply of cuddles!
I do have a a lovely 4 legged cuddle buddy that loves to snuggle …. But I think he’s getting tired of my wanting to squish & kiss him all day long😂😂
Humans come & go they are not permanent but robots could & would be tight by your side no what what!
My kids don’t cuddle anymore they are “grown” apparently 🤦🏽‍♀️

Though all these other forms of coping have a higher probability to be by my side and more easily replacable should they malfunction. 😊

☝🏼😂😂😂

Lovelight

@cualtzin That's nice, precisely. I don't think I got tingles from listening to music..., makes me wonder what kind you're listening to. lol. Or you probably just have the ability to. I am new to having control of my dreams, though if you want to possibly share our experiences and tips in our pursuit sometime, feel free to contact.

@Melomaniac9 They just might someday! I may have watched Big Hero, though sounds interesting.

Melomaniac9

I really hope they make one sooner than later!
I did try to bribe my child that’s studying BME if they could do a side gig and try make one😂😂😂

MCcuddles2

@Lovelight have you ever used a high end VR device? It can be quite immersive.

nurturingman

Have you ever tried wearing a body-hugging garment designed to calm people? Just like a “thunder jacket” for dogs, there are tight undershirts for people.

CuddleDuncan

@lovelight if you don't occasionally get a tingle - or something - from listening to music, then you're not listening to the right kind of music. If you tell us what kind of music you know/like/don't like we might be able to give you some pointers.

Jasmineluvshugs

Here's a good resource that might help someone:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/blog-fight-loneliness-by-drawing-your-circle-of-influence

@CuddleDuncan which music makes you happy?

quixotic_life

@nurturingman ~ I work with kiddos who request them from time to time. But due to the compression they go over clothes and the amount of time wearing them is limited (in our group to approx. 30 mins at a time - it's usually less).

For myself though... I occasionally do a self swaddle wrap with my comforter (tipping back and forth until tight around and pinned underneath me). As long as my feet are still sticking out, I love it!!

Shhh... sleeping baby...

When I remember to, it helps me sleep like a baby. Especially when emotionally flooded or completely drained... 👶😴

Lovelight

Thanks for the tips y'all, I'll respond when I get time. Though a brief update: I feel better with my growth mindset.

CuddleDuncan

@CuddleDuncan which music makes you happy?

@jasminelove that question is, for me, much more interesting and demanding that it seems! However I have been thinking recently about all the wee tunes that I use to cheer myself up sometimes, and I have been meaning to write them down anyway so that I don't have to try and remember them.

These all give me a bijou tingle-ette, at least sometimes. The 'serious feels' is a list for another time.

Listening to any of this lot, never mind them all, is guaranteed make you just a little bit chirpier or your money back. They are mostly around three minutes.

Shepherd's Hey - - Percy Grainger
Radetzky March - - Strauss (no, nobody cares which Strauss)
Hoe Down from Rodeo - - Copeland
Four Scottish Dances: 2.Vivace - - Malcolm Arnold

633 Squadron - - Ron Goodwin
Spanish Flea - - Herb Alpert
Happy Birthday - - Altered Images
Ça Plane Pour Moi - - Plastic Bertrand
Happy - - Pharrell Williams

Miss Marple: theme - - Ron Goodwin again (it probably helps if you love Margaret Rutherford)
The Typewriter - - Leroy Anderson
Yakety Sax - - Boots Randolph
Right Said Fred - - Bernard Cribbins
Spitfire - - Rolls Royce Merlin engine (not technically music)
On the Trail of the Lonesome Pine - - Laurel and Hardy (the video gets me every time)

William Tell Overture: Finale - - Rossini (Pop's got a head like a ping pong ball)
Swedish Rhapsody No. 1 - - Hugo Emil Alfven (you'll know it once you hear it)
Orpheus in the Underworld: Galop Infernal (Can-can) - - Offenbach

Surfin' USA - - The Beach Boys
Swingin Safari - - Bert Kaempfert
M. Hulot's Holiday: theme - - Alain Romans (a wonderful Jacques Tati film)
Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh - - Allan Sherman (Dance of the Hours)
Dance of the Big Fairies - - Sky (there's not a lot of music for harpsichord and tuba)
Colonel Bogey - - F. J. Ricketts pseud. Kenneth Alford (... the other is in the Albert Hall)
Tuba Smarties - - Sky

The Big Country: theme - - Jerome Moross (no, me neither)
Stars and Stripes Forever - - Sousa (here we go, here we go, here we go-oh)
The Magnificent Seven: theme - - Elmer Bernstein
Hielan' Laddie - - trad.

I created a YouTube playlist so you don't have to look them all up. Click the icon at the top right of the youtube window to find any particular one. The list is public so you can use it or share it.

---

[Dis]Honourable mentions: I couldn't quite bring myself to put them on the list

Rawhide theme tune
The Banana Splits theme tune
Springtime for Hitler from Mel Brooks' The Producers

Melomaniac9

@CuddleDuncan these two definitely give me the tingles🤩

Ça Plane Pour Moi - - Plastic Bertrand
Happy - - Pharrell Williams

Lovelight

@MCcuddles2

I tried a VR game once a couple of years ago at a showroom*, I think I found it too heavy and just wasn't really into it. Though would try stuff like that again.

@nurturingman

Interesting, I found weighted/compression vests online*, will include on my list to try. Thanks.

@jasmineluv nice article, thanks for sharing!

@CuddleDuncan

I am mostly into pop, dubstep, deathstep, and melodic dubstep. Though chillout is nice too.

Aside from ASMR, I get tingles from watching heroic actions in movies, beating the odds/overcoming obstacles, etc.

@Melomaniac9

these two definitely give me the tingles🤩

Ça Plane Pour Moi - - Plastic Bertrand
Happy - - Pharrell Williams

Didn't give me, perhaps you are more sensitive to it.

Whereas I seem to need the content to elicit strong emotions. Or that it actually be ASMR where I am bound to get tingles at some point.

MCcuddles2

Not all VR platforms are created equal!

I use an oculus Rift and it creates a really immersive environment where I can feel like I'm sitting with another person.

Lovelight

@MCcuddles2 Okay, I shall try someday if possible then. Maybe I will be able to combine it with simulated racing which I want to try.

EponymousName

Oculus rift is a very intense experience. Heck, even watching Netflix on Rift is pretty cool. But, The world is strange when you play too long then unplug for a bit.

Plus, I play a couple games where you have simulated bodies, and it is decidedly weird having a different dimensional shape. You have hands and a visor. I am used to having abnormally long arms. It took some time to adapt, but I am not used to things going around or over my reach.

I like fencing, and it would be a bit interesting to try a fencing simulator for example. I fear I would both be bad on the rift and then lose my edge fencing. I am used to having a significant reach advantage, but I have to be careful to keep proper distancing, otherwise in my guard, shorter armed folks have much shorter pivot ratios. I have to cover more distance from neutral to full extension. If I had to adapted to chopping off 3-4 inches of reach per arm, I would miss horribly when I started, then as I grew in skill virtually, my arms would fly past my targets, because my actual frame wouldn’t correspond to my virtual frame.

(Oculus is still fun, but certain factors need adjusting to. Also, one game I play you can instant stop and change perception angles. Highly effective movement and makes you sick to your stomach quickly. )

Lovelight

@EponymousName that's cool, I shall try someday if I get the opportunity.

EponymousName

@lovelight You should, I really haven’t delved that deeply into mine, but the 3d experience is awesome. For those that are comfortable with it, I am sure that there is some great ways to bond. I don’t even like zoom/skype/FaceTime, so not my cup of tea. For others it may be fantastic, not real, but so immersive that it has its own form of reality. (Suppose that is why it is called VR)

Open question, has anyone used VR for socializing?

MCcuddles2

@EponymousName I've used Vtime Chat on Occulus Rift. I've really enjoyed it.

Lovelight

Other possible cuddle supplements to help combat touch starvation: Swimming.

I suppose the warm waves of the water hitting one's body can somewhat feel close to being touched. Or possibly trigger one's oxytocin hormone.

I am considering to go swimming a bit again once this virus ordeal is over. I did assisted swimming years ago for about two+ months. Though have since forgot what it's like to swim and because I had/have to have someone making physical contact with me a good deal of it, I can't really conclude whether or not swimming is a good way to substitute cuddling. Though like with hobbies and exercising, it can have a positive impact on your mental, emotional, and physical health.

Personally I am not a big fan of swimming unless I own the pool. Though I will do my due diligence to find a good pool that meets my needs to swim in here and there.

Another suggestion that may help is body pillows. Though a regular pillow is sufficient for me.

Taking a walk in nature, doing art or some other creative hobby. Helping others even remotely.

blisscuddles

@Lovelight You are going about it right. Feel good and overcoming obstacles movies are not only inspirational but give you the pick me upper to find ways to move forward and believe in yourself. Nature is best companion and being out in it is blissful, even spending time under a shady tree reading a book. Hug the tree to express thanks for that serene time. Having a friend or friends, even if it’s long distance, to talk or chat with, especially someone who is a good listener. You write well too, it’s therapeutic to write about what you would want to dream about; eventually some of that can carry into your dreams for a blissful sleep.

Lovelight

https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.com/technology/2016/05/getting-chills-when-listening-to-music-might-mean-youre-a-more-emotional-person.amp

Lovelight

@blisscuddles Thanks, nature is fantastic! I recently hung out a bit with an acquaintance/friend.

TheMidnightOwl

I feel the same. Am a huge proponent of massage. Every week if possible. And having voice conversations with good friends regularly. And a weighted blanket on my bed is really soothing. I do have a dog and cuddling him for long periods and having eye contact is calming. Your idea of volunteering at a pet shelter or fostering is a great idea.