@Lovelight I think what Mark meant is this:
1) A moderator books a pro, and pays the full price for her time.
2) the mod submits this to Mark afterwards and Mark reimburses him for the price paid.
I called it creative because the money he is paying to the mod goes back into his business, as it is used to pay the pro. Not because it is in anyway deceptive to anybody.
@Lovelight excellent comments. If I could figure out how paid mods could interact with enthusiasts and pros I would. I just can’t now. Maybe @FunCartel ombudsman idea is an answer. Idk. Another thought I have is I don’t know if mods and ombudsman’s should be current members there is just so much recently that we’ve seen go sideways. I know it sucks but I wouldn’t trade the friendships I have made here in nearly 5 years to be a mod etc. it break my heart to have to discipline a friend I couldn’t fathom doing it
@MCcuddles2 I see. Hopefully @Mark could help clarify it himself if that's what he meant or what he meant as I am sure I am not the only one confused by it.
If that's the case, then it's something I need to think about. Though from what I've been reading, the mod in question, didn't follow those steps. Or something went wrong along the line that could explain this.
@Lovelight yeah, the issue is that soulcuddlez somehow made sita feel as if she had to cuddle him for free.
@OhioMike Something to think about for me. Though until something could be figured, I think Mark, should go with what he knows works best. If it were me, I'd take your approach to be on the safe side for now til better could be figured out.
Again I keep referencing management 101. It’s much easier to go in hard and strict then gradually lighten up then the other way around. I do not want @Sideon i think our only mod left to not be able to cuddle with people here. I just can’t figure out anyway that can work. Ombudsman has potential. And dang it pay @Sideon !!!!!
Worst case scenario if Mark can't afford a full time paid mod what's the solution? Close the site cause the business model doesnt work anymore?
@MCcuddles2
If there isn't a way to host a safe place for everyone involved, the place isn't safe and should close.
That being said, I'm sure there is a way to implement changes, keep mods, and keep the site up without making concessions. There may be a way for mods and pros to interact but like @OhioMike said it's hard to imagine such a system. I'm hopeful that it's possible.
@MCcuddles2 find one that works. Or people who in the meantime can just be mods. I really don't know either, that's just my two cents. I could probably be one of them on a season basis, cause so far I've no interest to find cuddle partners here during the winter and would be willing to help out. That's kinda the next best thing.
And there should be record of why someone is muted/banned to help with accountability.
“And there should be a record of why someone is muted/banned…”. Great idea! I know of a recent longtime pro who was recently banned I think by the male deleted mod , I think, and she repeatedly has said she wasn’t given fair due , Great idea @Lovelight
A lot has happened in the last week. There are changes in play, and there are changes coming. I've kept a low profile on the forums but I do want to address a few things directly while @Mark and @Gary and yes, hopefully @Squeaktoy, can continue some of these difficult conversations.
We had rigorous conversations about how to best handle Professional and Moderator interactions in the future and explored a wide range of perspectives, from zero fraternization to recognition that aside from @Mark and @Gary, the other moderators started here AS enthusiasts and developed important friendships and connections since that time. CuddleComfort is a nexus for cuddlers, and the forums are where a majority of us interact outside of direct messages, searches, and profile surfing. Could/should we follow a formal business process, such as zero fraternization, when us Mods are here as volunteers? This is what we decided:
We recognized immediately that Moderators are not eligible, will not ask for, and shall not receive freebies/free cuddles/free sessions, from Professionals. We have not crafted/written said declaration yet, but expect that over this next week - I'll take ownership of this task, review with @Mark and @Gary and @Squeakytoy, and update the FAQS page here and in the Professional forum(s). We came to agreement to all of this as Moderators and agreed to move forward, but then we had other issues happen the last few days...
@sillysassy and @pmvines raised issues regarding content and comments being moved, in relation to a new user and moderator interaction. I am not speaking for @Gary here - I am speaking here as one who is human and who has also placed his foot in his mouth and posted something that should/would/could not have been said, or should/would/could have said in a more thoughtful and deliberate manner that didn't ostracize or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Case in point for me, when DarrenW and Chungus deleted when we most definitely disagreed and misunderstood each other. I will let @Gary speak for himself on this matter, but I ask you all, the community, and note that he usually handles the infrastructure and coding for this site, not moderate the forums, and to please be as kind and forgiving as you've been with me when I've stepped in my own plops and mis-steps. If I thought for a second that either @Mark or @Gary didn't care about the community I would not give this space any more of my time.
Let's talk about moderator "power" - as in - what do we do with it. We can all move comments from General to Cuddle Requests, to Professional Cuddling, and to our Moderator channel (which is the same as moving a topic offline). Advertising is a no-no - those get moved offline, and the Pro is given a warning. New users coming onsite and not understanding the platonic concept and posting nudes - they are moved offline ASAP, user is warned or banned, depending on severity of their non-platonic post. Posts or threads that break the rules or are stirring up trouble/inciting flame wars/baiting? Those are more subjective, and we Mods tend to discuss internally prior to moving, editing, or talking with the OP. Threads or posts that are reported - those ALL become part of our ticket system that we share as moderators. We can delete karma when it is in dispute or there are reported issues. We can warn users and remove inappropriate pics in their profile. In response to @Lovelight and @OhioMike - there is a record of who is muted/banned/suspended which all Mods can see, and these actions are not done in silos - Mods all share this info. Additionally, anyone banned/timed-out/suspended always has an option to appeal and message us Mods, who can review, approve, and or/deny based on EVIDENCE, which is noted within the internal ticketing system. Pardon the estimate, but I'd say roughly 3/4ths of respondents say something to the effect of "F*** you" in 50 shades of font in their "appeal." The ticketing system and reasons for bans/suspension/timeouts are intentionally NOT shared with the community - and I don't foresee that the information will be shared.
We do these moderator activities on a daily basis, and on the macro level, none of this has been an issue except for recently when it LOOKS like we are being heavy-handed or secretive. This is not the intention, but I certainly see how it looks this way. We do our best to be transparent. We want the community to know we continue to strive towards the mutual respect, harmony, and the sustainment and continuation of this cuddle nexus.
@Sideon Thank you.
Thank you @Sideon . I'l be messaging you soon about another issue i have...
I don't know everything that happened, but if there is an imbalance of power seen couldn't the mods have two accounts? One is the mod account, the other is a regular account and they never mention that they are mods and the accounts aren't linked in any way. That would remove the potential there wouldn't it?
@JasonCuddles not sure how that would remove it? I mean let’s hypothetically say there is a future moderator, but they have this non linked account and they didn’t get what they want from the pro cuddler. They could still get revenge on the pro cuddler, by banning them. Not saying anyone would but there’s that potential even with safe guards. We are only human are we not? So why not just remove that totally?
Why would someone become a moderator if they are not allowed to do that (cuddling) that brought them to this website? Makes no sense to say they can’t cuddle or fraternize.
@FunCartel thats why I think outside mods or 3rd party mods companies or your ombudsman idea are better ideas
I agree with both @OhioMike & @Ironman294 … I believe mods shouldn’t have any type of bias at all, & choosing mods from the community may sometimes blur the lines… have a blessed day all.
@OhioMike that is why I brought it up…but at the same time we could always just clone @Sideon
There is a power imbalance in the music business from rock star, all the way down to ticket-taker. Some people come into this business for that reason alone and it's because there are no rules. And if you were to poll people who have had breakups from such relationships, they are by far the most painful breakups they ever have. The people on the power-wielding side could care less. I would say for CC if you can set a rule, do it.
@FunCartel not a big fan of cloning tech but I would definitely make an exception to clone @Sideon 👍
@FunCartel and @OhioMike - I realize they cloned Dolly the Sheep, but I don't think I'd be a good candidate. Mighty nice of you to think of me in that way though. I think? Baaaaah. I mean, have a good day.
Reminder - we're not allowed duplicate accounts on here, per the site rules. Note, I have pre-existing relationships with pros and enthusiasts PRIOR to my being a Mod. That said, I have not booked a session with a pro (thanks, Covid!) SINCE being a moderator, either - but when I do - you can be sure I'll have more disclaimers and back-up than an Arizona audit.
Thank ewe
@Sideon
Edit: Opss, it appears I accidentally posted it in the wrong thread. :P
Odd... pretty sure I replied to you and it seems to have disappeared.
Anyway, I basically said I am glad to know such system is in place.
Though to clarify my comment was moreso to support the approach I thought was best. And less so to question or state existence of such system.
Just wanted to say I'm glad to see you're holding onto your position moderating @Sideon . As with Squeakytoy, you've always been a fair and levelheaded voice of reason.
It's a mentally taxing job to respond to numerous complaints, forum arguments, bad profiles, scammers, and members who are here for reasons outside of platonic intent. All unpaid. I hope in light of things members here don't forget that.
Yes @squeakytoy and @Sideon are the gold standard. The others not so much. Are we just lucky to have those two? Are there others like them ? We know there are people who aren’t like them now.
@FunCartel Agree that taking away cuddling, the activity that brought them here, from mods seems unfortunate. I have two ideas to remedy this power imbalance, without taking away the mods ability to cuddle:
1) I think there was an idea floating around previously for mods having to sign some clause saying that their cuddle session has nothing to do with the fact that they are mods, in legalese.
2) Maybe mods should have a "Moderator" account, and then a seperate regular account? And on this regular account of course they cannot disclose that they have access to a moderator account to any user.
Thanks for your great work @Sideon, I'm sure @squeakytoy had her reasons, but she will be missed.
I think it helps foster trust in moderators to know that they are well-established members of the community too.
Hmm...this is tricky. Maybe we just need to have enough moderators that they can (and must) recuse themselves from any moderator decisions relating to people they've met in person?
That might be a better idea.
@sunnysideup "Maybe mods should have a "Moderator" account, and then a seperate regular account? And on this regular account of course they cannot disclose that they have access to a moderator account to any user."
As stated by Sideon here:
"Reminder - we're not allowed duplicate accounts on here, per the site rules."
So I think a somewhat of a solution to further consider is, a feature that allows mods'/ one and only account to return to normal member status when their 'shift' is over for the 'day/. Or on their days off. And have it so that the site perhaps differentiates the 'accounts' via color codes. So a message from a mod is eg., green, and when regular member another color. Also could include text or some symbol* that's accessible to visually impaired/colorblind people too.