So many people not serious or ghosting

Angelmoonstone

This site is crazy. So many people are not really serious or ghost or no show. It's insane here. I'm super friendly respectful open and supportive and all it gets me is like 70 percent of people time waste and play games. And they are the ones initiating! Driving me crazy. Thoughts???

NicoSnuggs

@Angelmoonstone - There are a handful of rotten apples who make it into the site for a short time, but in my experience, there are many great people whom I have cuddled with and who have kept their word to me, both Pro and enthusiast alike.

Angelmoonstone

At least 70 percent does not at all equal a handful lol. Twilight zone times infinity

Nature_Lover_

@Angelmoonstone I’m sorry you are having this issue. This may be why a number of pros require a deposit. Something to consider.
Not every connection always equates to an actual booking and that’s ok with me. While no one wants to be stood up or ghosted for sure I don’t mind to get to know people as we explore whether or not we will be a good fit.
Best of luck to you !

Angelmoonstone

Most people HATE a deposit and are completely enraged over it. I know not every one will work out. BUT AGAIN FOR THE 3RD TIME I AM SAYING AT LEAST 70 PERCENT. I'm not sure what is going on lol. Everyone seems insanely confused over my post already.

Angelmoonstone

Very seriously considering leaving soon. 😪

Lovelight

@Angelmoonstone Sorry to hear that! Noticed you're a pro and unfortunately I can see that increasing the odds of that happening for you. I also am limited in what advice I could give you since I don't know what being a pro entails. Though I'd suggest to try to figure out a way to better screen and gain. Perhaps this could be like not agreeing to meet unless a certain percent such as for your travel is paid in advance. Meeting somewhere that is convenient for you so that even if no show you still have things to do or some benefit to gain.

Most of all, I hope you've video called at the least. That's really all I could think of for now. . .

Lovelight

@Angelmoonstone "Most people HATE a deposit and are completely enraged over it." I'd suggest you walk away at that point, especially if you've to travel in addition to freeing up your time for them, it is common sense they'd allow. Though perhaps first ask why they don't want. If they have a reasonable concern, then that's perhaps something they can be put at ease about.

CuddleDuncan

It's a serious and common problem on here, sadly. 70% sounds like a lot though.

Experiment with small edits to your profile, they can make a surprisingly big difference. Changing the photo is the big simple easy one. Also play with changing the layout of the text, changing the order of the text, changing some of the wording.

I'm not suggesting that there is anything wrong with what you have, but the time-wasters are mostly acting with little or no thought. Think of them as plants responding to basic stimuli - light, heat, water, etc. Different stimuli evoke different responses.

Lovelight

@Angelmoonstone I think I misunderstood what you said as* you experiencing no-shows. I am still limited in how I can advise you.

Though perhaps if you share a bit more about what their time wasting looks like, we could help advise you better.

Which I can see when coupled with ghosting it can be quite hurtful. Perhaps if you can find a way to better deal with the time waste, you wouldn't care as much if they disappear. Given you've not really invested much in them before you'd even had a chance to meet them.

MCcuddles2

@CuddleDuncan that is actually quite offensive to plants. Trees are intelligent and take care of their neighbors and offspring.

"This breakthrough research revealed stunningly complex communications and cooperation among trees. A mother tree can even recognize its own saplings and direct more carbon, nutrients, and water to them if needed, but will also support other neighbor trees in distress."

https://time.com/6045438/finding-the-mother-tree-and-how-trees-care-for-their-saplings/

CuddleDuncan

@MCcuddles2 what can I say. A plant hurt me once.

@Angelmoonstone

I sympathize, for sure, and I am certain you are being accurate.

70% seems like the high side of the bell curve, but not totally crazy.

That said, respectfully, welcome to the service industry, marketing, and sales. In every marketing or sales field I have worked in, from basic retail to the gaming and music industries, a 30% contact rate with potential customers would be an ASTONISHING success rate.

It might help to think of the "ghosts" as not a personal attack, but a personal favor. They have shown you who they are, that they are not a client, and not a valuable contact, and you can profitably stop wasting your professional time with them.

In sales, during a cold pitch or cold call, a good salesperson is LOOKING for the "No." It frees you up for the next attempt with the next pitch.

Actual customers and clients are EASY. They simply fall into place with very little struggle. All your efforts with a good customer go to providing your service to that customer, not into convincing them to give you a try in the first place.

Block the flakes, ghosts, and time-wasters and move on to that 30% who are present and eager for your time and services.

Good luck.

Hollydollhugs

@Angelmoonstone I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. I have revamped my profile many times since joining and taken much advice from some that have been here way longer than me. @CuddleDuncan @pmvines . I don’t ask for deposits, simply because when I did have that in my profile, I had no one interested. If you let them know that you take payment upon arriving, many are very glad to provide it before the session. As far as no shows, that is a hard one. I’ve not had that happen to me before, but ghosting I have and I just move on. It means that we just weren’t a good fit at the moment, No hard feelings. I try to message everyone that visits me with a nice greeting, just to acknowledge that they are welcome to message me anytime. I also change my profile picture often as it just keeps the profile fresh. I wouldn’t want to post a picture of myself from a year ago. I change with the seasons lol. I wish you all the best and feel free to message me if you would like, I’d be glad to help if I can. 🙂

herby357

@Angelmoonstone As a longtime cuddler in your area, my experience has been that the pandemic has curtailed activity greatly. Hopefully activity will return to a semblance of normalcy at some point. By and large I've been fortunate with flaky professional-provider no shows and cancelations, only experiencing three in four years or so .

And while I realize this is a point of contention -- the rise in hourly rates since the pandemic started most likely has potential customers reconsidering their choice at a last minute.

Lastly, I've added a filter to exclude anyone above my budget from my searches to deal with this phenomenon, so I'm not that customer. However, I didn't even realize that I could filter my searches in that manner until recently.

Just my two cents.

CuddleStella

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this! i would recommend looking into people who have karma already in their profile. if you have already looked into that, definitely look into getting feedback from others not just on your personality but if there's anything you can do better either profile-wise, service-wise, communication, etc.. reach out to the people you have managed to connect with!

JoyfulHeart

@herby357 Well stated. Your 2¢ are worth $5 now, due to rising costs. 😉

The first few months you run into the few that are very actively flaky. They don’t seem like a few because they are thirsty (as the kids would call it) and so they pour their entire attention into this avenue for a short while. Once you weed through those by setting clear boundaries and they understand you…that’s when you get to the good chewy center of the cuddle community and that’s where the good stuff is. Don’t leave yet. You are about to get to the good stuff.

nurturingman

I recently learned a hard lesson from what was meant to be a barter (or "pro trade") with another professional cuddler. Rather than simply not exchanging money, I should have insisted that we book each other using the site's booking mechanism and that we pay each other electronically in full to confirm our session, just the way I would do with a regular client. The pro ghosted me and I lost out not only on the benefits of cuddling with another pro (pleasure, learning, teaching, and Karma), but on the wages I lost by taking time off from my day job. (In fact, I probably shouldn't book cuddles during work hours anyway, because even if I get paid for the cuddle session, I still lose billable hours on my day job before and after the session.)

All that is to say "Trust No One!" Ha ha. Well, I'm only half-joking. Screen, screen, screen, and be strict with your payment requirements. If they balk, f*ck 'em! Use this site's booking system and keep as much of your communication on the site as possible so there is a record of everything.

I've heard that a lot of pros have wonderfully enriching professional-client relationships, and I wish you the very best of those!

CuddleDuncan

@nurturingman that's really rubbish, sorry to hear that.

MissAdventurous

@nurturingman so sorry to hear that.

LauraLibraLady

Girl! I feel You! It's frustrating! I've started collecting a deposit again. I've had a few people ghost me. People cancel too.

nurturingman

Thanks, @CuddleDuncan and @MissAdventurous Some people are so trustworthy we forget that others are not. 😉

Sideon

Moving this thread to the Professional Cuddling forum. And closing it.

The OP has deleted.