Hi The person i cuddled with had a bad breath coming from mouth. How can I communicate this to her in an unembarassing way so that she can use some mint or mouthwash before the session.
hopefully they’re active on the forum / come across this thread / & realizes it.
Sometimes you just have to be honest. You are paying for a service, and the cuddler is providing the service. Hygiene is very important in cuddling, and it’s almost common sense for cuddlers to use the necessities
Once you realise such a thing is happening, say, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I forgot to use mouthwash." And then continue depending on the circumstances. For example, at your place you could say, "Come on, I'll show you where it is so that you can do it too - I can't blow mouthwash flavour at you unless you've had it!" Do not offer them a genuine choice. One technique for that is effort - if you have gone to the kitchen especially to get them a clean glass, it's quite socially hard for them to refuse.
If they do decline, persist nicely in the first instance. Many people who have bad breath do not know, because nobody ever tells them.
It's a standard social technique whenever somebody is committing an inadvertent faux pas: pretend that you are committing it and 'encourage' them to join in the fix.
My opinion, which can be taken with a whole shaker of salt…
For those things which can readily fixed, such as brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, or even a breath mint, I would FAR rather the person I was with would simply tell me.
If it’s something I can’t fix, such as not being so tall, not having a beard, etc, then I would much rather the person I was with would say, “Sorry, your beard makes me more uncomfortable than I thought it would”, and we can part ways from there.
What is terrible is when someone is with you, but they really would rather not be.
There is no need to be mean, but there is also no reason to be unhappy in my presence to “spare my feelings”.
I would pull out some gum or a mint , pop into my mouth saying my mouth is dry ooh this will help , and then casually offer them one
That’s why they call him MISTER @pmvines…
So smooth.
Haha thanks @CharlesThePoet . Stay classy🙂
Bruh... that's tough.
@om123 How many times have you two seen each other and had this issue?
Does it look like you two will see each other again otherwise?
I'd advise if it was just once, say nothing. Wait and see each other again. Sometimes people slip up here and there and will fix themselves. If however you find it is a frequent issue, then it is worth having a conversation about.
Also it depends... on why or why you think her breath was a no-no. For example if it is because of smoking, then you could indirectly let her know that the smell of it bothers you and ask if she could not smoke about __ hrs before your cuddle. Hopefully she'll get the hint to take extra steps to freshen up.
If it is something that happens again, then you can tell her over a phone call, tell her you want to talk with her about a sensitive topic and ask if now is a good time to. Then you can say: "Although I enjoyed our cuddles, I found your breath a bit unpleasant. So I hope that if we meet again we can have a more pleasant time." If you decide to message that to her instead, I think calling is better, then don't forget a smiley emoji after it to help with the missing tone. It might sting her a bit though hopefully she's a big girl and can handle it. I doubt it though if she gets angry or decides not to see you again then remain kind and just wish her well. No need to argue, in case she argues, you can say "Okay, I hope you have a good day."
Though the waiting approach is really more so if your meeting is feasible. If however it is a pro, either of you are booking a cuddle space. Or traveling so far, then I'd suggest letting her know sooner.
I was going to say essentially what @pmvines said. I get some gum for myself and then hand them a piece. People will typically take items we hand them without thinking. If we offer one there’s more time to deliberate and they might say no and then we have to have the awkward conversation.
By the way, I took to waiting with someone I met outside of cuddleship and the next time we met, he was on point.
Alternatively you could ask her how she'd deal with if someone she cuddled with had a smelly breath or how she'd advise you to deal with it. Then once she gives you the green light on the best approach, give it a minute for her to process it. Then you can take the approach she gave you provided she doesn't say something outrageous to test you or as a joke. Which is why at least having a voice call is best so you can better gauge what is what.
@CuddleDuncan unfortunately, most women know better than to ever accept an open container of liquid to put in their mouth from a complete stranger. This is a huge safety risk, and not being given a choice is fairly frightening.
@Mela_B Yep!
Omg!! @FunCartel ~ That scene!!! 🤣😂🤣
My Covid episode had dulled my olfactory capabilities such that the vileness and causticity of very pathological stenchmouth would probably only elicit mild concern. There are silver linings. Still, being a health-related problem, I would think giving a heads up would be a helpful gesture. There is possibly a dental or liver problem driving the powerful jolt of offensive odor that would make it past my indifferent mucosa. That suggests medical intervention might be necessary.
@Mela_B I don't believe @CuddleDuncan was suggesting to offer "an open container of liquid." Rather, he specifically said he'd go "to the kitchen especially to get them a clean glass." I don't think there's anything wrong with that, especially if it's poured right in front of both parties and they're both partaking.
@Mela_B well yes, obviously, but as @bekah_cuddles says I wasn't suggesting such a thing.
It is a delicate topic because the social pressures that I was suggesting are similar to those used by people with ill intent. That is why I chose to base my example on mouthwash - which comes from a shared container and is spat out - rather than mints or gum. It's also why 'persist' is qualified with in the first instance.
To be on the safe side... If hosting, it makes sense to have a clean glass and mouthwash available to your cuddle guests. One could even go the extra mile and provide a little travel kit in case they 'forgot' theirs.
"The bathroom is down the hall on the left, where you can freshen up, change, etc. and I put a new toothbrush and clean glass next to the mouthwash and floss for you. Take your time."
They may not need it, but if they did it would almost certainly be appreciated.
$5.00 and you're a hero!
And if you're the guest... "Do you mind if we each brush our teeth first?" Is beyond a reasonable ask.
If they don't want to, then just don't have face to face cuddles with them. Plus, considering the pandemic, that may be a good plan no matter how fresh their breath.
Ha ~ lol ~ What if she had rank breath as a way of keeping her partners from potentially breathing Covid at her?! 🤣
If it's something like tonsil stones no amount of gum, mouthwash or mints will make a difference.
They can be a real problem for some people and tonsil stones make your breath smell like a festering dumpster.
There's only one way to get them out and that's to manually remove them from the back of your throat. Not easy if you've never done it before or a bad gag reflex.
I'd never heard of tonsil stones. Thank you @KYtranspant! 🙂
No WAY am I going to Google tonsil stones…
Whenever I travel I use single-use mouthwash packets, specifically these: https://smartmouth.com/products/single-use-mouthwash/ They're intended for my own use, but sealed packets like this might be a good thing to offer to someone whose trust hasn't been fully earned yet.
I think no matter how you slice it, it’ll feel awkward to bring up. But, you should still say something. It takes away from session when someone’s breath is rank.
Tonsil stones??? There goes another night's sleep...
It reminds me of a time I lived in Hawaii on the Big Island and I paid for a massage from a woman who lived in a quite remote mountainside home and her studio was outside in her jungle backyard. I guess she was into nature so much that she forgot to shower and her arm pits smelled pretty foul. And she she was pouring on the oil and didn't even offer a towel or a shower at the end. I was in such a hurry to get away I just left and used paper towels I luckily had in my cars to wipe my arms so they didn't stain my car upolstry. Well..the massage was very expensive and the worst I ever received. I simply gave her a bad review on yelp...she appoligised and offered me a free massage but I was scared that she would kill me if I ever came back to that scary jungle backyard of hers. If the person you are talking about is offering a paid service...I would post it...if she is not, then I would just kindly suggest she freshen up and brush before the next cuddle.
I keep gum and mints right by the door and I will offer it if it's that noticeable.
@greatcuddling
If the person you are talking about is offering a paid service...I would post it...
I sincerely hope you're not implying that the OP should post this pros name to the forums for a bad review.