Confort and Loneliness

Hi guys my name is Tony and I wish you if you don’t mind discussing a bit about this

The emotional and psychological aspects of lacking attention and not being able to express love and affection has always been a way for loneliness and comfort to be affected

For me in the 1990s and beyond, it was extremely difficult to form relationships because of this. I guess the roots are or, were, feeling less important and valuable to society in general. The Goodall syndrome of feeling insignificant

Those years are gone thank God but I cannot imagine living or feeling like that nowadays where it’s become so difficult to reach out, touch someone emotionally and feel the love returned. And more so I think that technology has made it more complicated for folks who are lacking attention and love, because everything is all virtual everything so plastic

I must imagine that technology is so advanced now that it’s hard to know what is the truth and what are the intentions of people behind the keyboard making connections very difficult because, if someone is weak and needs attention it’s almost like looking for love from a werewolf, so to speak

These thoughts came to my mind this morning because I have seen so many people out there who are lacking attention from their loved ones, lovers, partners, spouses, that they are looking for that attention here. So of course, I hope that they get exactly what they need to survive and that they don’t fall into the abyss of getting used by others for their own purposes

I’ve been in those shoes before and it totally sucks, so this is why I am saying all this here for everyone

Lovelight

For sure! Thanks for sharing.

NicoSnuggs

Well written, and thank you for sharing it here @Tazman5307 ; The technology/plastic aspect of connection today is certainly a double-edged blessing and a curse at the same time (to me at least).

Babichev

I don’t mind the technology, it’s a tool and depends on how you use it. But it seems it has gotten to where some folks use it as a substitute for in person contact and people have gotten less interested in in person contact. Of course, with COVID getting in the way of in person socializing it’s hard to know whether it’s because of the pandemic or just social withdrawal.

KYtransplant

I think a lot of it comes back to understanding the five love languages. I didn't know this until I was in my mid-forties.

Acts of service

Physical touch

Quality time

Gift giving

Words of affirmation

People can truly love and care for another but if they don't speak their love language the other person feels empty and unloved in the way they need.

ernesto_2

💯 @KYtranspant. Knowing how to read and speak another person's love language is essential.

I would add that it is also important to acknowledge (both internally and with your partner) when your tank is low or full so they can modify how much they do.

Ahmedali999

Technology has advantages and disadvantages but advantages are more , I'm really isolated,anti-social, Google is my best friend 😁 to find job,connection,learning, I asked Google I need cuddle then it guided me to cuddle comfort where I found amazing people.

JohnR1972

“Touch is the substance of words, it makes healing words believable. Only believed words have the power to heal.” - JohnR1972

I wrote that and put it on my profile page as I reflected on my very first cuddle with a pro cuddler. She has a beautiful spirit and literally brought me to tears just with her loving embrace. She spoke kind words - words of affirmation… healing words.

If someone else had said the same words to me they would not have been so impactful, I would have probably dismissed them as someone “just being nice”. But when those words were accompanied by platonic touch, they became much more than words. The words gained substance and believability. I could not dismiss them. Those words penetrated the layers of emotional armor I put on in middle school and high school to deal with the pain I was going through back then. I carried that emotional armor and the emotional scars beneath it until very recently.

My personality type is an INTJ and as a group, we are not known for having (let alone showing) much emotion. In my case, I think the emotional armor and feelings of loneliness that literally became a part of my personality were a direct result of events in my childhood. I was always friendly and got along with others and I have been very successful in my career but I always felt empty and lonely inside. I now describe myself as a “recovering INTJ” because someone, through touch and words, found pieces of me that I had lost and helped me put them back together.

Sorry to ramble but as a man in his early 50s, I feel like I have a whole new life since beginning my journey of healing. Technology is no replacement for human touch.