I really think this service would benefit me greatly but the one person in my area is only doing virtual cuddle sessions. I also can't afford to pay for someone to travel to me, guess I'm SOL right?
Maybe check cuddlers that are a bit further out. Maybe an hours drive? Then you’ll be able to have a bit more options.
I can come to you, and often if someone is unable to pay for the out-of-state fee, or minimum time/monetary amount to make it worth it to come to you, I'll make sure to book more than one session in the same area. 👍
It's common to travel two hours each way for a cuddle. Outside a few major cities and cuddle hotspots active cuddler density is quite low.
Also, contact cuddlers that just a bit too far away and have a conversation with them - you never know what will come of it. You may be able to find a day use hotel in the middle or something.
Read the FAQ thread, especially the stuff at the beginning, and look over the first few pages of the forum for threads that may offer advice - there is lots of it around.
Really I'm talking to lurkers rather than the OP, since he's had a wonderful offer from @SleepySheep1!
Good luck!
Think about places you might travel to like maybe you have relatives or friends you occasionally visit elsewhere.
I drove three hours to meet up at a halfway point with someone I met through the forums.
To add to what some others have said about traveling, consider contacting cuddlers in other locales ahead of time, possibly doing some online sessions, to get an idea of who you'd like to cuddle and where.
Some professionals like myself have accommodations. Make a vacation out of it. Go somewhere you would enjoy visiting, relax, vacation, but throw some cuddling into the mix. 😇
It's common to travel two hours each way for a cuddle.
- @CuddleDuncan
I feel this way as well. I live in Phoenix, the 5th largest city in the U.S. and there are dozens of members nearby. However, I have virtually no success starting interactions with "local" people (within an hour) of me, but moderately successful with everyone 2+ hours away.
Tucson is only 2 hours away, a large city with a lot of members. Approximately 1/3rd of the members I contact there start conversations, but after we have gotten to know each other and it feels like we should meet in real life it follows the same pattern.
We have had great conversations messaging back and forth for weeks. When the messages get too long we move to text/phone calls. Then eventually...
Me: We should continue this face to face in public somewhere. Them: I'd love to, but you're 100+ miles away. Me: That's not far for me, I drive 250 miles every day for work. I could come to you. Them: I didn't realize that. I have "insert random excuse" and am too busy right now, let me get back to you when things calm down.
Then ghosted.
It has been my personal experience (Hopefully it's just my area and not me personally) that when someone thinks they are too far out of range that meeting in real life is not likely to happen, they are very confident about starting conversations. Then once they find out how far my traveling range actually is, it becomes all too real and it stalls out.
A couple of times a year I drive to my mom's house and go through Las Vegas which is a 5-hour drive away, and the same thing happens there. I make connections online, but when I say I'm going to be in their area next month, it's not a good time. I seem to have the worst luck of connecting with someone right before they get super busy in real life.
Has anyone else experienced this or have any suggestions on how to improve the transition from online to real life? I realize everyone's requirements are different but am I rushing things too quickly trying to meet someone in real life after only 3 weeks of messages and phone call conversations?
This may be a little long, but I want to cover a couple of points. @DonLonG: I don't thing three weeks is moving to quickly. To evry one else, I just want to point out that some of us are unable to drive. In my case, it's because I'm blind. There are busses that go from one town to another, but they can be limited. Not all towns around my city even have bus service to them. I'm not saying travel isn't possible, just more challenging.
Going to real life after 3 weeks is definitely not rushing @DonLonG. I think that your analysis that these people think there is no chance of meeting is correct.
@DonLonG - Depending on the other person (pro or enthusiast), three weeks is definitely not moving too quickly in my experience. When I start messaging a Pro or enthusiast here in my area of Raleigh, we usually meet in-person between two weeks to a month after initially messaging here on CC.
A few questions for you, especially since you’ve been in CC since 2019:
1) Are these unfortunate experiences of not successfully meeting in-person with Pros or with enthusiasts?
*(I personally have found the connection and dynamic to be different between Pros vs enthusiasts whom I’ve cuddled with.)
2) Have you had any successful cuddles in the last two years?
2a) And if you have, did you host or them? Or did you meet in the middle at a day hotel or AirBnb?
@NicoSnuggs
Enthusiasts. I contacted a pro once. Primarily for the experience of it to see what it was like, but also secondary is I thought maybe having at least one karma would really help out vetting me and open possibilities. I did learn a lot, but the karma seemed not to help.
Out of maybe 80 communications, I did meet in real life with 7 people in that first year. It never went beyond just the meet and greet, I did not cuddle with any of them. 6 out of 7 were from out of state, and we only had time to meet the one time knowing that cuddling was likely not to happen.
The 1 local person here in my city took 6 months of communications, we finally met up and she told me right off the bat that she never intended to cuddle with anyone she met online, and I was only the second person in 2 years she met from the community. She found me interesting and wanted to meet me to satisfy her curiosity, but never intended to meet again or do anything more. Although we did meet a second time almost a year later, that was just letting me know that she was moving out of state. She did introduce me to the best Peanut Butter, Jelly, and Banana grilled sandwich I ever had, so at least that part was nice, and I'll always remember her for that.
It actually took me 54 weeks being on here before I got my first real cuddle.
Usually met in the hotel but nothing came of it. Just talked. The one local we actually made plans to meet and she cancelled last minute 4 times over those 6 months. When we did meet it was at a restaurant at lunch, but I ordered and she didn't and just watched me eat. I asked if she wanted to go somewhere else, but she told me she wasn't hungry. She only showed up because she tried to cancel again 15 minutes before we were to meet, but I was already there waiting for her so she felt bad and showed up anyway. After we left she started texting me about how good the tacos were next door to the cafe we met at. Always was puzzled by what happened there.
Another semi-local was from Tucson. After talking for over a month she wanted to meet at her office feeling safer meeting a stranger with her coworkers. Drove 2 hours there to find that she needed help moving and assembling furniture in this new doctors office her practice just bought (She's a psychiatrist). She said if I helped her, she would buy me dinner and we could talk. Didn't mind helping the 3 hours it took, but she and her friend was in one office, and I was by myself in the other and we didn't get to talk much. She initially said we got done sooner than she expected, that with the extra help it really saved time. But when we went to leave, she was running late for something she planned that night and didn't have time for dinner. She got me a Horchata from the Mexican place across the street, we talked for 10 minutes, hugged, and she was off. I spent the next 2 hours driving home wondering what just happened. I think women are so fascinating to me because I have such a hard time understanding them.
It hasn't been all women though, I met @Sideon in a hotel lobby before he became a moderator. That guy is amazing and everyone who has a chance should experience that encounter. Also, meet with @PeopleLikeUs at a Juice bar when he was coming through town. Another great guy.
@DonLonG So let me get this straight... this woman wasted a month of yours talking. Plus 2 - 4 hours driving to meet her. Met you at an office, where she left you alone much of the time. Then had you around someone else some of it. Had you do HER job for ~3 hours with the promise of having dinner with you/buying you dinner. At that you two were still practically strangers. And she didn't even have the decency to have dinner with you and give you some company to show her gratitude?
I'm sorry that happened to you, I'd say you've been too nice to* her and the other women you mentioned. It is for you to put your foot down and stand your ground. Because some or many people will not give a damn about you and your needs, if they know they can just take, take and walk away. She wasn't "running late" when she set time aside to have you do her job for 3 hours. * Or when she dragged you into one of the most... inconducive time and place that's not for connecting like that. * So I call nonsense and that she took advantage of your kindness. PS. It also sounds to me that she pulled this on you last minute, so you didn't even really have time to think?
"After talking for over a month she wanted to meet at her office feeling safer meeting a stranger with her coworkers. Drove 2 hours there to find that she needed help moving and assembling furniture in this new doctors office her practice just bought (She's a psychiatrist). She said if I helped her, she would buy me dinner and we could talk. Didn't mind helping the 3 hours it took, but she and her friend was in one office, and I was by myself in the other and we didn't get to talk much. She initially said we got done sooner than she expected, that with the extra help it really saved time. But when we went to leave, she was running late for something she planned that night and didn't have time for dinner. She got me a Horchata from the Mexican place across the street, we talked for 10 minutes, hugged, and she was off."
"I realize everyone's requirements are different but am I rushing things too quickly trying to meet someone in real life after only 3 weeks of messages and phone call conversations?"
I'd say talking for 3 weeks without having met/just to meet in public is usually too long. Unless there's a reasonable reason, even then I'd cut down on the chitchat and save it for later when you actually meet. While I wouldn't put a time on it, I'd go by "getting tasks done" basis. Message, get a tad bit acquainted and move to brief video calling. Personally that usually takes me about 5 days at most. Soon after video calling, make plans to meet somewhere public. Either I'll suggest or they do. And if I feel any lag or they are dragging their feet. Taking forever to respond, going off the radar for days then coming back like nothing happened, etc., I usually call it a day and go about my life. Unless they've a valid reason they share in which case I may choose to give them a chance.
I no longer do those back and fourth seemingly never ending chitchats. If they are serious and interested, we meet. If they aren't, they aren't gonna turn me into some kind of text assistant humanoid of theirs that they can chit chat with when they are bored. To feed their curiousity or maybe appear important to others cause their phone is buzzing. So that's my approach. Either we meet, or I minimize them wasting my time, and building up false hope. I once fell for that badly, so not again.
"That's not far for me, I drive 250 miles every day for work. I could come to you. Them: I didn't realize that. I have "insert random excuse" and am too busy right now, let me get back to you when things calm down.
Then ghosted."
With this, were you trying to meet her at her home, a hotel, or in public?
Regardless however, I still think she failed at communicating her true intentions to you. Gave you false hope and ghosted you. Terrible.
@procompgaming Not necessarily. The Cuddle Sanctuary has online training for people wanting to conduct cuddle workshops. You might also check out local circulars to seek out cuddle buddies. I've had several friends that I have led to Cuddle Comfort and in the process have spread the word that I am a cuddler. This has led word-of-mouth to others that now give me full-body hugs when I see them. I have created a sort of huggy underground around me and cuddled friends not related to CC or that eventually joined, all enthusiasts. Typically when you drop Cuddle Comfort into a conversation the reaction from people is like "huh? what? a cuddle site? wow!" They almost always want to know more. You can cultivate your own cuddle scene.
@Lovelight You are not wrong. She probably was taking advantage of me. But I was new to the site and more naive, and I realize that women have different kind of risks and threats they need to consider and I need to accommodate for that.
I was also very desperate at the time. I had been touch neglected for 9 years before I joined this community. After 3 months on here, I hadn't made a connection and was willing to put in the work needed to establish one. Nothing worthwhile is easy, it takes hard work and determination. I don't reflect back on it as being used, I think of it as she taught me a valuable lesson and gave me the experience I needed to make better decisions in the future.