Is it bad that no one knows that I cuddle?

What are your thoughts? I would feel weird telling someone about me doing this because they wouldn’t understand. That and they’d freak out since this is technically cuddling with strangers. I should at least tell a close friend or relative, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s really hard.

ernesto_2

I think it's only bad if you feel bad. Really, what you do with your time/effort/skill is 100% up to you.

That said, from a safety/security standpoint, I think it'd be important for you to have someone who knows the basic 5Ws. But beyond that, I think you just need to follow your gut.

Mela_B

It is understandable why you feel this way. Your comfort level is determined by you. I can say that I approached this with trepidation in the beginning, but as time has gone by, I've become more confident. I've started telling people, and I'm not really affected by what anyone thinks about it. I've mostly had curious or positive reactions.

I've been taking training courses and networking and it's been really supportive.

Ultimately, it's your decision.

WriterGF

Unless you are in a relationship, in which case you should discuss it with your partner, it's really no one else's business.

KozyKim

You would be surprised what people think it’s a wonderful idea. I remember telling a friend, and I forgot I told her. And she said how’s the cuddling going, and I’m like oh I told you. She thought it was a great idea. Don’t tell introverted people that are not affectionate they’ll think you’re weird. But tell some outgoing person that’s affectionate. If you know someone that has the love language of affection they’ll probably understand the most. I think most peoples problem with me doing it is it’s strangers and I’m not sure if they’re safe. But trust me I haven’t told very many people for that very reason. I told my mother and my sister and they always say Kim you should write a book. I’m totally the opposite of them. Getting paid for something that you already like to do seems like a no brainer. I think sometimes people wish they could do something like that.

Lovelight

Yes, the IRSssss demands to know your location and to send iTune gift cards lol. In all seriousness, that's one of many IRS scams in case someone here doesn't know.

Though to get back to the topic, I'd say not really. It can be bad in the sense that the less we speak about it, the less people who may benefit from it know about it. Or who may pass on to someone who would. Also if you've a partner whom you hide it from, then it is is bad. And for your own safety, you need to find someone you feel comfortable with telling. Other than that, I don't see any issue with it.

Lovelight

@kimberly77 "Don’t tell introverted people that are not affectionate they’ll think you’re weird." "But tell some outgoing person that’s affectionate."

As an introvert/~ambivert, we are, of course not all, and can be affectionate. Many of us are perhaps just more selective about the people we want that with. Or keep it more to ourselves. So we may seem like we are void of it. So with that, I'd advise to give your introvert friends a chance too. At the very least they may be understanding even if it's not their cup of tea and maybe go home pondering about it. It's like how I once was with someone, albeit briefly. And someone who hungout with both of us didn't know we were together. Because we just weren't openly affectionate when others we know were present. Yeah, it was surprising when she found out.

Babichev

Why do you think it would be bad? What difference does it make whether someone knows or not? Does them knowing or not knowing make it bad or not bad?

MissAdventurous

There is nothing wrong with receiving and giving platonic physical touch with others, and that's at your discretion. You're the adult and at the end of the day, your privacy is yours alone. There is no need to feel bad or good about it, it is what it is. But breaching the conversation with someone neutral in your life, or a family/friend, can be very beneficial as well for your own personal growth in what are your boundaries about touch and communicating that in healthy ways. When and if you're ever interested/wanting that.

Happy Cuddling!

I don't think it's possible for it to be bad or good unless you're in a relationship and not telling your partner for example. It's like stamp collecting, or getting up early for a morning jog in the park, or baking a batch of muffins every week.

By default it's neither good nor bad, it is what it is, if other people judge you negatively for it then they're the ones being bad for judging someone for something completely innocent.

MCcuddles2

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KYtransplant

When I first started I told only my sister, because she was my safety contact. Now that I primarily cuddle the same people it's not as necessary to check in with her as I once did.

I have told several friends now and they are supportive with the exception of one of my guy friends who is beside himself worrying something will happen to me. It's not a jealousy thing there, I think he's genuinely afraid of people's intentions.

As an enthusiast, I have communicated extensively with several members on here building a good rapport before meeting them.

Keeping my circle small allows me the downtime I need for myself, my committed work time and look forward to meeting up with my cuddle buddies when it lines up.

ThomSSI

Nearly everyone has a range of personal issues/behaviors/etc they may not choose to share with others. It’s perfectly normal and perfectly ok. What’s important is that YOU don’t feel bad about it (and as some noted, a spouse/partner might not be on the “don’t share” list for this one).

sunnysideup

I don't think that you need to tell anyone if you don't want to. Thought it might be good for safety's sake. I told a few of my friends. They didn't understand at first, and made comments like: why don't you just get a girlfriend, they thought it was weird/creepy thing to do, and that all of us on here are broken somehow. But, now they don't question it or make any comments. One is even considering joining.

CuddleDuncan

It's not bad. However, it does make me a little bit sad. From the tone of your post I infer that you'd like to talk to somebody about it, but feel that you can't.

I tell everybody. Most don't get it at all, one or two have been very marginally hostile to the idea but not to the extent of ruining the evening. Nobody has ever freaked out or anything. My family don't really understand, but accept it as a kind of weird thing that I do. I took a cuddlebuddy to stay overnight at my elderly, Christian parents and my mum caught us cuddling in bed although we weren't going to sleep together .... she just laughed.'

A trick I sometimes use for telling people things I don't want to tell them, is to create expectations in them of something much worse. The actual news then comes as a relief.
"I've done something. I think it might be really bad. Can we meet to talk about it. I mean I haven't killed anybody. It's not illegal. At least I don't think so. Only one other person is involved. We're gonna be ok, we're definitely gonna be ok. It's all gonna be ok. I just need to .... get it off my chest. You're the only person I can trust with this."

MrMarkAndrew

Just don't be like a Crossfitter/Vegan and tell everyone 24/7, lol...