Am I worth $20 an hour? Lol

RealManCuddles

Hey everyone, it's been less then a week being a pro male cuddler on this site haven't had a booking yet. I know it's still a little early but I thought I'd start a discussion about this. I am offering 20$ an hour cuddles as a promotional price so I can get a few bookings.

So questions for the ladies... am I worth $20 an hour to cuddle you?

You can be honest, I'm not taking anything too serious.

NicoSnuggs

I’m not a lady, but I do want to encourage you to have some patience with this, especially this month. It is the holidays, and a lot of people, men and women both, are spending their spare money on gifts for their friends and families for the holidays. I’m willing to bet that things will pick up for you as soon as the holidays wrap up.

SleepySheep1

A more effective strategy can be giving free ones to gain a bit of karma and experience before you begin charging at all.

CuddleWho

Most men on this site struggle to find anyone to cuddle for free - that's literally why female pro cuddlers exist.

I suggest you sit down and meditate on why it is that I (for instance) pay to cuddle, but you expect others to pay you to cuddle.

Here are a two thoughts from me.

Firstly, consider your prices. What's the average charge for a cuddle session? Are you pitching below that? Sometimes people perceive low price as low value.

A management consultant on my LinkedIn network was talking about pricing and value. He had devised a workshop he was prepared to offer free to organisations as an act of giving. No one took him up. At £100 per session, there were no takers. At £500, there were bookings. Clients felt if the workshop was free, or low priced, there was no value.

Second, let your profile be clear. As a starter, consider these questions. Why should someone engage a professional cuddler? Why should they come to you? What do you offer? What is unique about a cuddle session with you? How will the client benefit?

Lovelight

Also one of the requirements to become a pro here is:

You are accepting of all races, ages, genders, and sexual orientations.

https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/become-a-professional-cuddler

So being a male cuddler isn't easy, add being a pro and it's harder. Now add only cuddling women to the list and your chances are probably slimmer than the slimmest phone.

Not being able to host also puts you at a disadvantage, though if I were booking a pro, I wouldn't complain for a price that low. And I probably wouldn't care about it either.

Bella_Sera

@RealManCuddles, I think you’ve received some great advice so far.

In particular, @SleepySheep1’s suggestion to do some freebies and/or paid sessions with pros in order to build up karma is a good one. With such a new account and no reviews or credentials, it can flag you as high risk for being in that “unknown quantity” category in the eyes of many women. And @In_Touch is right, having a price that is significantly under market^ can further undermine your credibility.

^ Please also note that charging a rate below $40/hour is also technically a violation of your CC contract. Item 11 says:

“You are allowed to charge Clients for your services at a rate of your choosing but above a minimum of $40/hour for in-person sessions.”

Im guessing that this isn’t a violation that would get you shut down, considering the circumstances, but still it’s the rule.

@Lovelight’s point about being open to cuddling all genders is also a good one. While that IS technically a rule for pros, the admins have noted that they don’t have an incentive to enforce it for male pros, and so typically leave it alone.

That said, just looking at the stats in your area of Detroit, there are just 21 female-identifying members within 50 miles of you who have been active in the last month. 14 of them have logged in this week. That’s not much of a market considering that every one of those women has countless options to cuddle on the site for free.

If you extend the search radius to 100 miles, it’s a little better. 42 women active this month, with 28 having logged in this week. But since you can’t host, you would likely have to drive to them, which might mean a 2-3 hour round trip journey. Even if you booked 2 hours and earned $40 for the job, you’re only paying yourself about $8/hr. And that’s not even accounting for the unpaid time spent on checking the site, marketing yourself, answering messages, etc. plus gas and the monthly site fee for male pros.

You’re a fit, good looking guy, but even if you’re the best cuddler in the world, the odds are just stacked against you in this arena.

You could raise your price and open yourself up to male clients, but even that doesn’t improve your market much. There are just 19 men who cuddle men in that 100 mi radius and two of them are also listed as pros. You’re competing with them and all those other men happy to give free cuddles.

It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, but it does mean it will never be easy and you’ll never get rich doing it. If you need money, there are lots of other jobs that pay much better. If it’s cuddles you want, dropping the pro status will increase your likelihood of meeting an enthusiast and working a steadier-paying job would give you the flexibility to pay a female pro.

Bella_Sera

Tl;dr, @RealManCuddles:

You are worth PLENTY, but $20/hr isn’t worth your effort. There isn’t enough work and you’ll end up in the red with few or no cuddles to show for it.

biggiecheese

Comment contents removed. [reurbo]

@biggiecheese that’s not at all an appropriate thing to say here and from your profile you seem to be a troll or at least not here with the best of intentions.

@RealManCuddles there are many threads on the topic of male cuddlers and the issues many of them face including pricing, lack of bookings, etc. Will echo what others have said as there’s a lot of good thoughtful advice here.

CuddleDuncan

It's not about the money. And have a look at @nurturingman's profile, he's in Arizona.

There are a number of threads about this on the Professional board. You may find this one helpful but note that results are emphatically not guaranteed.

How to make it as a MALE professional cuddler

Lovelight

@BellaSera "@Lovelight’s point about being open to cuddling all genders is also a good one."

I wanna clarify it's not my place to make it a point to be open to. Though just pointing out the rule and why he may be struggling.

"While that IS technically a rule for pros, the admins have noted that they don’t have an incentive to enforce it for male pros, and so typically leave it alone."

Thanks for telling me, I was wondering about that.

PS. @RealManCuddles it's not about your worth. I see you've just joined this month, so would have been here for 14 days at most. It's like you need to learn your ABCs and how to count first, before even the mere utterance of the word high school crosses your mind. So it's not a "quick money" gig or work. In all likelihood, you will need to be here putting in the work to learn, be patient and to establish yourself in this space to have a chance at making noticable progress.

nurturingman

@RealManCuddles Without knowing you, I don’t know whether hiring you for a cuddle (if I were a woman and you would have me) would be worth $20/hour, but of course you yourself are priceless. It is not at all unusual for a male cuddler to make little-to-no money, or for that matter, to not even be able to give it away. I struggle despite having many things going for me: I’m the only Cuddlist-certified professional cuddler in Arizona, I’m the only Cuddlist-trained practitioner in my state who is male, I live in the fifth largest city in the US, close to affluent areas such as Scottsdale and Paradise Valley, I cuddle adults of all ages and genders, I have been an active member of Cuddle Comfort since October 2020, I’m a mature professional with tons of client-facing experience, I’m handsome, I’ve publicized all over the Internet, and the list goes on. This dearth of work for male professional cuddlers is just the way it is— for now! I envision a much better world, but this is the one we’re living in.

Related discussion: MALE Pros: How has professional cuddling been for you?

CuddlesByGracie

It's not about worth, it's about need. I could make the best abacus in the world AND price it well but if everyone I want to sell to has a calculator and is happy with that then I'm going to struggle.

As others have said, professional male cuddlers don't generally tend to find a huge amount of business but if you'd like to improve your chances you may consider reviewing your profile text. Lots of male pro profiles essentially read as "I'm freaking awesome, come cuddle me!" without addressing any of the things that women feel concerned about before cuddling a stranger. Focusing on why you think you'll be a good cuddler, that you'll respect boundaries, and how you'll make sure your clients feel safe and supported would certainly be more reassuring to me if I were looking to hire a male pro.

CuddleDuncan

I've been thinking about this and the answer is no, no you're not worth $20 an hour.

You're worth minimum wage, same as the rest of us.

MonkeyNeedsAHug

Keep us posted.

axana596

As a female in his area who is active on this site, I'll chip in:
Since I signed up, I have been so absolutely FLOODED with cuddle requests that I had to stop even trying to go through my inbox, it was stressing me out, I couldn't reply to everyone and never would've been able to meet in person, even if I took a whole year.
I don't need to pay for cuddles, just my two cents.

@axana596 I always agree with this as a woman, but when I think about it - none of those men flooding our inboxes actually want to cuddle. They're all after more.

nurturingman

@MaineCuddle I’m sorry that that’s what you experience, and I’m angry that that’s how so many men are. I hope you report as many of them as you can.

CuddleDuncan

@axana596 I do absolutely appreciate your point. And I'm glad you don't need to pay for cuddles.

However, cuddles with a fellow enthusiast and cuddles with a professional are very different things. In one case, the experience is mutual: you care for them, and they care for you. In the other, the emotional support is one way - the professional cares for the client. Obviously the client should be kind and thoughtful and all those things, but when it comes to real emotional care it's a very different experience. (I'm fortunate enough to have cuddled with quite a number of both enthusiasts and professionals, so I'm speaking partly from experience.)

And @MaineCuddle my understanding is that your experience is a very common one. Quantity and quality not matching up at all.

nurturingman

@axana596 even with all those hundreds of requests you receive, if you don’t mind my asking, are you actually getting any cuddles? Would it be worth spending some of your money instead of hours of your time to hire a professional man like me who is trained and certified and has absolutely no desire to have sex with you— and doesn’t expect anything but money in return for caring for you?

@nurturingman Answering your question to @axana596 - I think it would be worth it for a woman who is looking for a male cuddler to pay someone like you, just to bypass the whole inbox issue. Implementing the "cuddlers must cuddle all" rule paired with being allowed to share links to professional profiles like your own on Cuddlist would weed out a lot of the disingenuous male pros that pop up here frequently (no pun intended).