Alone for the holidays

TouchofCherieTouchofCherie
in General

Here's a question for all the people who are spending the holidays alone. What do you do, if anything for yourself? This Christmas I'm getting a tattoo haha!! I know strange but it's my "self care". Anybody else doing something unconventional this holiday season.

Comments

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs
    edited December 2021

    Not spending this Christmas alone, but I was alone during Thanksgiving holiday. When I realized the loneliness was affecting me, I hired a pro for a session. Our session time was spent by her helping me decorate my Christmas tree.

  • TouchofCherieTouchofCherie

    @CuddlesByDeep That sounds like so much fun, I'm glad you found someone to enjoy your time with!

  • BabichevBabichev

    I spent Christmas alone last year. I have absolutely no memory of what I did.

    I’m making sure that doesn’t happen this year. I have not solidified my plans but have loose ones. I don’t need a lot. I just need to be with at least one other person and so something a little special.

    Years ago I had no idea what I’d be doing for Christmas. I had a friend from India and he had no plans, either, so we decided we’d get together and hang out, go out to dinner. A few days before Christmas a friend said their adult children were going to be out of town so they were inviting people over who had nowhere to go and wondered if I’d be interested in coming. I said I’d be delighted and can I bring my friend? She said, “Absolutely!”

    We had a memorable dinner, their house was all decorated. My Indian friend had been here for three years and it was the first (and only) time any Americans invited him to celebrate Christmas with them. Later that year he returned to India. He now has a wife and two lovely children.

    People are often willing to include non-family at other holidays but at Christmas most seem to hunker down with just their immediate family. I’m really grateful to the people who have been willing to include me in their Christmas over the years.

  • Metta4Metta4

    Touch of Cherie ur not the only one getting tattoos on holidays. Lol this would be my second holiday season alone. So no not weird at all spending it all alone.

  • Spud424Spud424

    My tradition is to have breakfast or lunch at a Jewish deli, then go see a movie. Couldn’t do the movie part last year, but for the past 15 years that has been my routine. I like it.

  • Greg45Greg45

    This is my first Christmas I have been alone after the divorce this year. My ex has my daughter and I have her New Years. It is going to be a long week. I guess im going to be working, sleeping and watching some movies in the theater by myself this year.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    Tip for life: if you are spending Christmas on your own, and you're not entirely thrilled about that, tell everybody. There are far more people doing this than you think. If you tell everybody, you never know what will come of it. You are not obliged to accept any invitations or suggestions, and indeed you may not receive any. It doesn't matter, that is not the point of the exercise. (It may be a bonus.)

    The point is, that if somebody somewhere hears that you are alone, and they are also alone and feeling lonely, the knowledge that it is not just them may help them feel a little less lonely.

    In a similar vein, you may hear of somebody in a worse situation than you, and decide to cheer up your Christmas by helping them in some way.

    And yes, since you ask I did learn this one the hard way.

  • blisscuddlesblisscuddles

    Aloneness can be not just in being alone but the feeling of aloneness in the midst of many; especially when you are in a gathering you’d rather not be at.
    Checking on an elderly neighbor who maybe alone or heading out to offer something to those in need, especially those out in these cold winter months, could give a more fulfilling holiday living it out for its true meaning.

  • TouchofCherieTouchofCherie

    @blisscuddles
    I know what you mean about feeling alone when you're not alone. I use to join friends during their family holiday celebrations but it left me feeling hollow and sad maybe even envious. I have been an orphan the last 9years and it's a hard Balance of not wanting to be alone but not wanting to be surrounded by other families as well.

    I definitely deliver presents (living essentials wrapped as a gift) to 10 to 15 homeless every Christmas. I also find fulfillment helping any of my elderly medical patients decorate their homes when I'm providing at home therapies. Giving is the best way to fight the holiday lonelies!

  • blisscuddlesblisscuddles

    @TouchofCherie 👏👏. That’s Touch of Care that you are providing. Have an amazing Christmas season

  • TouchofCherieTouchofCherie

    @CuddleDuncan It's very true, I live my life by the rule of making your needs known. More often than not someone who hears you will be able to help you or knows someone who will be able to help you or provide whatever you need. I've lived this way for a few years now and find it to be very fulfilling.

  • TouchofCherieTouchofCherie

    @Greg45 I love going to the movie theater! Cook or order your favorite foods and wear your most comfortable clothes, treat yourself! Then enjoy your daughter's company with a full cup of self love!! Feel your feelings but don't let the negative ones linger for too long. Here's to wishing you peace and love this holiday season.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    I'm alone for the Holidays but not for Christmas or my Birthday (which is just before Christmas).

  • BabichevBabichev

    I just found out today that a friend of a friend is unexpectedly spending Christmas alone. He’s an eccentric 86 year old guy who spend his life doing restoration of historic buildings and has several log cabins on his property that he relocated there. He was supposed to have a friend fly in but now the guy cancelled because of the pandemic so I volunteered to go and visit him on Christmas. My friend may come with me but is not certain yet.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited December 2021

    @Babichev Just hearing how isolated and lonely he is at Christmas rips my heart out. But the fact you are taking action to ease his suffering puts my heart back in with a little extra hope. This is what Christmas should be. Thank you for being you.

    (Originally posted in wrong thread). Very Twilight Zone—I read the it’s above and wrote my reply that was in another thread. Ok long night.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited December 2021

    @Babichev I love you!

    Thank you @TouchofCherie.

    Turns out I'm on my own for Christmas. I was going to my sister's family, which I was greatly looking forward to, but they've got covid so I can't go. (They have to self-isolate.) Presumably omicron since they've all double-jabbed and have had it before. Not seriously ill, just feeling ... yugh.

    Anyway, at the last minute I've been shopping and obtained all the essentials for a Merry Christmas!

  • blisscuddlesblisscuddles

    @Babichev 👏👏. That’s true Christmas spirit!

  • Greg45Greg45

    Thank you @TouchofCherie!

  • CuddlebudBruceCuddlebudBruce

    Struggling with depression during the holidays is no fun. Being alone compounds the issue. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I spent last Christmas crying. I don't have time for that and need to do something to distract me.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    I'm just chilling and wait for my next session

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited December 2021

    As previously mentioned I'm on my own today. I have done this before, and for me the secret is to do it as if you have one or two friends here. Lots of treats for me today.

    Consequently I'm having a marvellous day. First treat, panettone for breakfast. Wish I had some real coffee but I've made do with instant. Top Gear Patagonia special on TV .... I don't always love Top Gear but I do love the light in Patagonia. Video call with a friend at some point - she's on her own too and not enjoying it.

    I will have a proper lunch - roast pheasant - and there is a very nice bottle of claret to go with it. Then at 3pm the highlight of the day, the Queen's speech. She's always worth listening to. The Queen is an intelligent and thoughtful woman. 4pm Zoom call with the whole family. Then a bought Christmas pudding from the local baker's for pudding/tea. Perhaps a glass of port with some nice cheese this evening if I feel like it.

    A number of people have sent me messages which I wasn't expecting and I really, really appreciate. It's very lovely to be thought of. Throughout the day I'm going through my contact list and sending nice messages to people I haven't seen for a while, or might appreciate it. (So much easier than Christmas cards.)

    Finally, should there be any kind of emergency, I have taken the precaution of putting a half bottle of champagne in the fridge. Well, you can't be too careful.

    Edit: my diagnoses are depression, anxiety and dysthymia (look it up like I did). I'm on two types of medicine and I'm in twice weekly therapy. Overall I'm better than I was a couple of years ago and Cuddle Comfort has played a big part in that, so thank you.

  • Rajesh21Rajesh21

    In this everlasting pandemic it’s not a bad idea to be alone and pretend that you are in quarantine!!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @Rajesh21 =)

  • misternatureboymisternatureboy
    edited December 2021


    I spent Xmas eve doing much-delayed chores (primarily laundry and way past due aquarium maintenance) and--thanks to anxiety/seasonal depression--decided not to travel to the Bay Area to spend time with my sister and her in-laws. Spent today enjoying my 20-gallon community tank, listening to music (just discovered Shey Baba--his voice is tremendous!), and enjoying some 420.

    I'm no stranger to being alone during the holidays, but practice doesn't make it easier, especially when one's depressed. (Not fishing for sympathy. It is what it is.)

  • WriterGFWriterGF

    My daughter left at 1 for her Mom's. I came home, had lunch, and took a nap with the cats.

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