Platonic cuddling

silvergriljack

It makes me very unhappy to know ithat there is people on here that want more than just a cuddle we are not escorts so please keep that in mind .you're a professional cuddler to please read the guidelines and remember that this is somebody's business way of life we are not escorts. I have been put in several positions that I have been very uncomfortable with due to people in my state that has allowed cuddling sessions to go to the extreme please be advised that anybody in the Georgia Florida area please be professional.

silvergriljack

Just getting tired of driving and meeting ppl and not able to have a professional session!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬

SuperManCuddles

@silvergriljack I am very sorry to hear that others are pressuring you. You can message me anytime, if you need to communicate with someone about this. Also you are individual, so even if others claim that hey have done more in the past, that’s no excuse to pressure you at all.

Mike403

Require payment before sessions and if they cross the line, just get up and leave and you still got paid.

sillysassy

@silvergriljack welcome to the site!!! And Happy Birthday!! 😊

Hopefully you also reported the boundary pushers. We don't need those kinds of people sticking around. Thank you for trying to keep this community platonically minded.

sunnysideup

I'm sorry. Those clients as well as the professionals should be reported and hopefully banned from the community. We can all make sure this community is what we want it to be.

You can also do like a 15 minute screening/consultation over zoom/whatever to see what the client is looking for before meeting a new client.

Lovelight

This is why so many of us are sick and tired of seeing people trying to bend the rules left and right. No, we aren't being a 'mob' for being beyond patient with such people, then wanting to take back our dignity and safety! Unless you're the one being put in these situations, which many of us are being put through over and over again: I don't think you really know what you're talking about when you interpret us setting our boundaries as being anything other than exercising our right to not be assaulted and disrespected.

@silvergriljack I'm sorry you're being put through that! All I can say is I hope you get better at seeing potential red flags and follow your gut. If something doesn't feel right, you have the right to take a step or a hundred of them back. Most of all, you can report any offenders.

I'm on bed rest, dealing with health issues. So I'll likely not be available for much commentary. Wish y'all well.

UndeadFaith

It's not generally recommended, but in the event that we ever meet. I can teach you a plethora of simple yet effective methods for immediately halting any form of unwanted advance.

KozyKim

When they asked me what should I wear, I say well what does the rule say. They never say is it OK if I wear shorts and a tank top wanted to make sure I’m extra comfortable. What they’re asking is can I wear underwear or be naked. That’s a big red flag because if I was wanting to make someone extra comfortable I would make sure they were OK with shorts and a tank top even though that’s the minimal. But what they really want to know is if I’m OK with more than just cuddling. That’s one of my screenings. Some guy was trying to undress and get into his shorts right in front of me I’m like you can go to the bathroom. It’s hard to screen for these things. When someone says hey or hello and then they wait for me to say something else that’s usually a sign to. That sounds like they just want to meet up. I feel like it’s hard for a lot of men to platonically cuddle for some reason they’re not in a place to do it. They are either vulnerable or needy. I have yet to have a perfect cuddle session something always happens. I wouldn’t say it’s severe but it’s annoying, because platonic means strictly friendship cuddling. But I think the lines are blurred on what platonic means for them.

silvergriljack

@kimberly77 thank you so much.@all thank you all for the help and Information .

lilithgrowlithe

Yes I'm in Florida also and can sympathize. Out if the last 10 cuddles I had to walk out on 6 because they tried to push that boundary and treat me like an escort. Its had me reconsidering even being a professional cuddler anymore and just retiring.

Here's the issue with pro cuddling and this goes for male cuddlers to even more of an extent. We pros are our own business. One of the first steps in creating a business is determining a problem you can solve, a need or desire you can fill. You do market research and figure out if there truly is a need and space for you and what you want to provide.

I think as pro cuddlers, we're trying to fill a need that doesn't exist. I 100% admit I did not do any of this business research and planning. But it seems clear to me that there's very little demand for platonic cuddling. There IS a demand for more than platonic intimate services.

JoyfulHeart

@MaineCuddle I find it sad that there are so many men on here who push the boundaries. They affect everyone else on the site, but most of all they compromise the safety of those trying to provide a legitimate service.

It sounds like you are basing your conclusion on experience, and if that is the case, I'm sorry for the disrespect that has been shown to you.

Babichev

Those who have been around longer than I have sometimes said that several years ago this was less of a problem. I’ve often wondered if things like Craig’s List closing the personals created an uptick in men looking for non-platonic elsewhere. Massage therapists often complain about local “massage parlors” and want them shut down but the unexpected outcome is that when they succeed in shutting such places down there is often an uptick in the number of men bothering legit massage therapists with non-legit requests. Perhaps if there were places where the non-platonic folks could easily connect with each other without stigma then they would leave the platonic folks alone.

SoftHairForDays

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Mike403

I'm for legalizing prostitution. What two consenting adults does should be nobody else's business. It will (hopefully)divert the people seeking non-platonic encounters to those sites.

@Babichev That's probably part of it but Google any city and the appropriate word and
other websites will come up on your search. Craiglist and Backpage were not the only options. I would bet some of these guys have been blacklisted from other services.
@Mike403 I agree with you.

Sheena123

@Mike403 I’m with you on that. We need to decriminalize sex work. As long as there is a safe outlet and the sex workers are doing it out of their own volition, let them be. (I just don’t want them on this site. Be gone folk lol)

RadiantHugs

Unfortunately what we are noticing, at least in the United States, is a direct blowback from laws such as FOSTA-SESTA. Leaving aside discussion of the merits of such a law, the fact is that prior to this act there were legit websites where sex workers could go and advertise for their services. Yeah it would be advertised as a $300 "massage" but everyone going there knew it wasn't just a massage. Now under this act, the websites allowing this could be held liable - so that was the end of those sites, nobody was willing to take on a risk they where almost certain to lose. Sites offering legit platonic services did not have to deal as much with clients seeking sex work, as there were more reliable places where clients seeking that kind of service would gravitate to. Now with those sites not operational, those sex work clients are now likely trying their luck seeking for those services here, overwhelming many of the pros.

The site can take a number of actions to mitigate this if they choose - but it seems requests to implement any of these are going to meet with resistance, from either the members, the site administrators, or both.

1) Have "verified" profiles, where the members voluntarily submit identification, and potentially allow a background check to earn a "verified" badge. This obviously costs money, so an additional fee to do this is certainly appropriate. Pros can then choose to only accept requests from verified profiles.

2) Have verifiable training requirements for pros. As of now, any member can become a pro by signing up to do so, and that makes it much too easy for potential clients to try and "push" the envelope to see if a pro (especially a new pro) is willing to cross boundaries. The training doesn't make the pro better necessarily, but it acts like a "protected by ADT" sign, making the stakes higher for any client trying to push boundaries with such pros.

Okay, let the firing squad come.

@CuddlesByDeep I agree that those measures should be taken, even though at this point I'd be knocked down to enthusiast status (don't get any legit inquiries anyway). But I challenge you to go to google and search "your city, escorts" and you will find plenty of options. There are still functioning websites for that. I don't know why it's so hard for these men to find them. That's why I think they're blacklisted.

RadiantHugs

@Babichev you beat me to it as I was writing my reply. Indeed several years ago, when I sought cuddle therapy as a client, I had very little problem finding high quality pros. Those wanting and offering sex work had the personals section on Craigslist and that's where they went. Those who came on a platonic website were in a sense already "filtered out."

RadiantHugs

@MaineCuddle I have no doubt such sites exist - but then I haven't searched from them, I don't need what they offer. Craigslist and Backpage had an element of trust behind them - I mean they were running shady sections, but at least people trusted the sites themselves as not scam outfits. As of FOSTA-SESTA any such site operates with great financial risk, so they must be mitigating that some way (like operating from an offshore location.)

Mike403

Pornography is legal and is scattered all over the internet like confetti. Why sex work is only okay if a camera is involved doesn't make any sense to me.

Rezz

@silvergriljack
Sadly this is a problem all of us pros have to endure.

Be assertive. Doing a very thorough screening and being extremely clear about your expectations does wonders to chase off the members who want more. Leave no room for speculation about what you do and do not offer.

No one wants to book a cuddler who isn't going to give them what they want. It's a waste of time and money.

Some members are perfect gentlemen with some pros and absolute dirtbags with others. Newer pros seem to get the brunt of this behavior while the more experienced ladies here deal with it less frequently. So give it time and don't feel pressured to book anyone you're not 110% comfortable.with.

Feel free to double check karma left by pros. Most of us ladies welcome it and want you to be safe.

There's some terrific members here who do seek purely platonic cuddling. 🤗

CuddlesByGracie

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it @silvergriljack xx

Seconding everything that @Rezz said; there are some amazing cuddlers who understand true platonic sessions and their benefits. Once I stopped worrying about being too "not nice" when specifically addressing it during an initial screening video chat, the number of boundary pushers dropped drastically as they'd just instead find a reason to cancel.

As others have mentioned I'm sure FOSTA-SESTA, and the resulting site closures have impacted the numbers of people seeking more on CC, but here in the UK prostitution is legal and it still happens. Those types of boundary pushers just enjoy trying to get more than is on offer, whatever that is. Sending hugs and wishing you happier cuddles!

RadiantHugs

@MaineCuddle I agree there are much fewer clients seeking platonic cuddle therapy than there are clients seeking sex work, or other things which aren't platonic. That said, there are clients who legitimately seek platonic therapy, and their lives are absolutely transformed by it. I, for one, am deeply grateful for this work, and while I don't share any details of my journey outside of a safe container like cuddle party, I can say it transformed me from a touch starved, socially inept, needy person to the person I am today. I did talk therapy, antidepressants, and EMDR for years with very little effect, and once I coupled it with nurturing touch, things just suddenly all started to come together, my triggers started to disappear, I could get off the antidepressants, and my world was suddenly very different. If you started doing this work in hopes to facilitate changing lives in this way, I urge that you keep at it.

sunnysideup

@Mike403 It doesn’t make sense to me either. But in the eyes of the law as we have it, pornography gets a pass because it as seen as acting, no different than any other movie.

Babichev

I think one of the differences between Craig’s List and escort sites is that CL wasn’t just about that so there was respectability about going there, even if one were going to the “unrespectable” section.

A couple of years ago I asked a guy friend of mine about guys who go to see legit massage therapists and then make non-legit requests. What are they thinking? My friend said they want sex but there’s stigma attached to seeing a sex worker so they book an appointment with an MT and hope they will get lucky. That made sense to me.

The demand is there and, unfortunately, since our society can’t figure out a sane way to deal with it massage therapists and pro cuddlers end up having to deal with a lot of it.

@Rezz points out that newer pros seem to get the brunt of it and I’ve certainly seen that in massage world, too. Predators can sense when you’re unsure of yourself. There are guys who are perfect gentlemen with some and then will push boundaries with others, probably because they sense they may be able to get away with it.

Finding a good cuddle buddy is a treasure.

Mike403

Why is there a stigma of seeking out a sex workers, but not trying to get sex from a service that isn't for that. That baffles me. If two adults consent to having sex, it shouldn't be looked at as evil whether or not money is exchanged.

Babichev

@Mike403 - because that’s the world we live in. Emotions are not rational.

DaringSprinter

@Mike403: I'd guess it's because there's a stigma against having sex with someone unless you're in a dedicated relationship. (Especially when money changes hands.)

If you go to a prostitute, there's no plausible deniability (to borrow a term from the intelligence community). If you go to a massage parlor or to a pro cuddler, well! Maybe you had sex, and maybe you didn't. From the outside, who can know for sure?