Doing What Jesus Did

SincereGenuine

I believe that men cuddling is a way to heal the hearts & souls of guys who have been emotionally wounded by abrasive fathers and/or emasculating women.

My interest in emotionally bonding with men & platonic same-sex affection and endearment began when I held a guy in my arms overnight at a Fall 1996 weekend church retreat, and became really strong when I discovered the Biblical support for platonic, same-sex affection and endearment between men:

Did you know that Jesus cuddled the apostle John in his arms (John 13:23 NKJV)?

Jesus is my example of masculinity to refute the dudes who object to guys bonding affectionately on an emotional level through cuddling.

TheFunCartel

Just curious, how would you feel if there was no biblical support for same-sex cuddling?

coregulate

I love this so much. I'm sending it to my very religious father

SincereGenuine

FunCartel RE: Just curious, how would you feel if there was no biblical support for same-sex cuddling?

Thanks for asking!

Even without the biblical support for same–sex cuddling, I have a high need for homo-emotional bonding with men to the extent that I seek to bestow affection, nurturance, endearment, and companionship upon men.

Because of their experiences with abrasive fathers and emasculating women, men everywhere are hurting! I am perceptive and discerning enough to feel the hurt.

Men universally need to feel loved by other men without emotions being tainted by sexuality.

I feel that more men would choose to remain single if male gender role norms permitted interpersonal solidarity based on gender consciousness. This is why many women have stronger emotionally intimate relationships with their girlfriends than they do with their male partners.

Unfortunately, a man often has to choose between a wife and kids or having close male friends whereas married women have girlfriends with whom they are platonically intimate and the emotional bond between a married woman and her girlfriends is often more emotionally & affectionately close than the relationship between a married woman and her own husband.

What I find completely backwards is the notion that it’s perfectly fine, normal, or even healthy for two gay men to literally have sex, but if two straight men want to embrace for a few minutes that is considered to be weird. Yet, it is considered okay for guys to beat on each other in the boxing ring as a form of entertainment. That doesn’t make any sense to me.

TheFunCartel

@SincereGenuine Ok, thank you for answering.

SincereGenuine

vivalalife RE: I love this so much. I'm sending it to my very religious father

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your enthusiasm : )

HogboblinZwei

@SincereGenuine

I'm curious: what's "homoemotional"?

I searched the term and discovered an Urban Dictionary page, and something from New Life Ministries. Which I'm not super duper inclined to check out.

NicoSnuggs

@SincereGenuine - Thank you for sharing this man.

@HogboblinZwei

I'm not super duper stoked that religion seems to be injected on every corner of the human experience when it's literally just a construct.

SincereGenuine

@HogboblinZwei RE: I'm curious: what's "homoemotional"? I searched the term and discovered an Urban Dictionary page, and something from New Life Ministries. Which I'm not super duper inclined to check out.

Thanks for asking!

Homo-emotional refers to emotional needs such as affection, nurturance, endearment and companionship being fulfilled in the context of platonic, male bonding.

SincereGenuine

NicoSnuggs RE: Thank you for sharing this man.

I appreciate your enthusiasm!

DaringSprinter

@SincereGenuine
If you want to format something as a quote, you can put a > in front of each new paragraph. Typing this:

> Quoted text.

> Second paragraph of quoted text.

—will get you this:

Quoted text.

Second paragraph of quoted text.

HogboblinZwei

@Saysoh

Oh, I agree. I'm just wondering what the OP meant by "homo-emotional".

And there we go! Thanks, @SincereGenuine. I've got another question for you.

To preface: I've done a little bit of research, and it seems to me that "homo-emotional" is a term used by some Christians to deny that homosexuality exists and naturally occurs. From what I've read, "homo-emotional" does refer to emotional needs. However, I have seen it framed as "men without positive father figures/loving male relationships come to crave those things, and a mixture of confusion and society makes them desire sexual relationships with men."

This is...uh...extremely wrong. Not just factually wrong, but wrong in the sense that it says "homosexuality isn't real, it's just men who didn't receive warmth from their dad going overboard and wanting to bang dudes because they're confused and because society is corrupt". It's amazingly demeaning.

The problem is...so far, I have only seen the word used to mean that. And it's a very Christian thing.

My question: is this an accurate representation of what "homo-emotional" means?

Melancholy

I think there may be a flaw in the OP's logic. Jesus is not really a good example of how to be a man. He was basically God in human form. He never had a girlfriend, never got married or had children. He didn't do the things that most men do, and he didn't grow old and experience things like losing your hair or arthritis. He had no clue what it was like to be a normal man.
So I wouldn't really use him as an example of anything other than how to reach God etc.

SincereGenuine

Melancholy RE: I think there may be a flaw in the OP's logic. Jesus is not really a good example of how to be a man. He was basically God in human form. He never had a girlfriend, never got married or had children. He didn't do the things that most men do, and he didn't grow old and experience things like losing your hair or arthritis. He had no clue what it was like to be a normal man. So I wouldn't really use him as an example of anything other than how to reach God etc.

Jesus cried (John 11:35), was a eunuch (Matthew 19:11–12), and cuddled a man in his arms (John 13:23). Psychologically, I consider myself a eunuch, which is just another way of labeling myself ‘asexual’ based on choosing to remain celibate with no interest in dating/coupling, but I actually am a virgin who has never dated or been intimate with a woman based on having casually observed the dysfunctions of others’ relationships around me. I consider eunuch, asexual, and celibate to be synonyms somewhat although there are slight variations in terms’ meanings. For me, asexual means that regardless of past history, I volitionally choose to be totally uninterested in pornography, masturbation, dating/coupling, and sex. This is the kind of life that Jesus lived as a celibate, asexual, eunuch so if Jesus did it, I believe that it is possible for man to do the same as Divinely empowered through the Holy Spirit.

SincereGenuine

HogboblinZwei RE: My question: is this an accurate representation of what "homo-emotional" means?

Thanks for asking!

“Besides depriving the boy of an adequate male model and encourager of normal sexuality, the indifferent or hostile father may thrust his son into a continuing search for a father figure. This search, together with the boy’s lack of masculinity, may lead the boy to search for a father figure in the form of a male lover.” (P. 172) Henry Biller Father Power

“Same–sex attraction often represents a search for parenting – a man seeking paternal love in the arms of another man, and a woman seeking maternal love in the arms of another woman (of course, this drive may be completely unconscious). It may also represent a need for [homo-emotional] bonding with same–sex peers because these men and women never experienced successful bonding with those of the same sex in their preadolescent and/or adolescent years of development. Then, during puberty, those normal needs for [homo-emotional] bonding, with same–sex parent and/or same–sex peers, became sexualized and/or eroticized.” (P. 80)
Richard Cohen Straight Talk About Homosexuality: The Other Side of Tolerance

“A child needs the affection of both parents. The male child requires both male and female affection. When a breakdown occurs in the relationship with one of his parents, the child misses the affection of that parent. The need for this gender–specific affection goes unmet, and the child may grow into adulthood with a love deficiency. Thus, when a male child has lost the affection of his father, he may grow up with an unusually strong, valid, but unmet need for male affection.” (P. 54) Michael R. Saia Counseling the Homosexual: A Compassionate and Biblical Guide for Pastors and Counselors as well as Non–Professionals and Families

“Most homosexually oriented men do not enter into relationships with other men just to have sex. Rather, they are trying to fulfill their needs for unconditional love and a sense of identity. But sex often plays a part in these relationships, and after a while confusion may occur. The man may begin to think sex will meet his basic needs, so he attempts to satisfy his [homo-emotional] needs in that way. Since sex is such a powerful, pleasurable experience, it can quickly reinforce any behavior associated with it. This is how the habit patterns of thinking (sexualization) and behavior (promiscuity) can so quickly become entrenched in the homosexual’s life.” (P. 56) Michael R. Saia Counseling the Homosexual: A Compassionate and Biblical Guide for Pastors and Counselors as well as Non–Professionals and Families

“The man who has endured the rejection process as a child has a strong desire for male affection. A homosexual lifestyle thus appears to offer a source of warmth, affection, and love, so in an effort to have his [homo-emotional] needs met, he may enter the “gay community,” establishing friendships with homosexual men. Since sex is considered the most intimate form of affection, sex soon becomes a regular part of the friendships. As he associates sex with the fulfillment of his basic [homo-emotional] needs, the man sexualizes his needs, thinking sex will give him identity, security, or love. Eventually he is thoroughly entangled in the homosexual lifestyle.” (P. 56) Michael R. Saia Counseling the Homosexual: A Compassionate and Biblical Guide for Pastors and Counselors as well as Non–Professionals and Families

SincereGenuine

Melancholy RE: I think there may be a flaw in the OP's logic. Jesus is not really a good example of how to be a man. He was basically God in human form. He never had a girlfriend, never got married or had children. He didn't do the things that most men do, and he didn't grow old and experience things like losing your hair or arthritis. He had no clue what it was like to be a normal man. So I wouldn't really use him as an example of anything other than how to reach God etc.

Please excuse me, I forgot to thank you for asking me a question.

@Melancholy

"OP's logic. Jesus is not really a good example of how to be a man. "

I don't disagree with this because from my perspective, its a construct defining a construct. The human experience defines a person, but you have to think about variables that actually rob us of a true human experience and even question if such a thing exists anymore that ins't influenced by templates and rules.

HogboblinZwei

@SincereGenuine

So. "Yes". This is a term used to say that homosexuality doesn't really exist, and that gay men are just confused.

I have found it difficult to be polite in this thread. I tried to give it a shot.

But.

"Homo-emotional" is, clearly, a made-up term used by hateful bigots. Another thing: there's no solid historical evidence for the existence of Jesus. And if there were concrete evidence for Jesus, it wouldn't by proxy make him the son of God. This is a good thing, because it makes the whole "believe in me or suffer an eternity of punishment" bit absolutely irrelevant.

Please consider taking your bigoted nonsense elsewhere. Or, at the very least, keep it to yourself.

@SincereGenuine

You seem to be quoting instead of sharing original thoughts, so I'm interested in the references you're quoting. I'd honestly like to do some reading on your references and seeing what's up. Not to position myself, but from what I understand about religion and the disconnect between the two (homosexuality), it's not a happy place for so many people. I'm curious about your ideas, but I'm also curious about the contexts of your quotes. I'm also very curious about who coined, "homoemotional."

SincereGenuine

RE: Saysoh

I appreciate your observations!

Jesus cried (John 11:35), was a eunuch (Matthew 19:11–12), and cuddled a man in his arms (John 13:23). This is the kind of life that Jesus lived as a celibate, asexual, eunuch so if Jesus did it, I believe that it is possible for man to do the same as Divinely empowered through the Holy Spirit.

SincereGenuine

HogboblinZwei RE: Homo-emotional" is, clearly, a made-up term used by hateful bigots. Another thing: there's no solid historical evidence for the existence of Jesus. And if there were concrete evidence for Jesus, it wouldn't by proxy make him the son of God. This is a good thing, because it makes the whole "believe in me or suffer an eternity of punishment" bit absolutely irrelevant.

Thanks for your reply!

Although you express opinions contrary to what I believe, there exists no reason for me to react pugnaciously to your replies articulating a perspective opposed to mine. Please stay tuned for my reply expected tomorrow . . .

quixotic_life

Yikes! "Straight Talk About Homosexuality: The Other Side of Tolerance"... just, wow!!!

cookiecrumb

I don't think the OP is saying that homosexuality doesn't exist. I think he is distinguishing homo-emotion and homosexuality, and attributing homo-emotion as having possible causality for homosexuality, while also claiming you can have one without the other.

Are you actually asking for concrete evidence for Jesus and his claims as the son of God? Because that's a very involved conversation and a very bold claim. Just because you say it, doesn't make it true.

cuddles_ndream

We were 2 hours & 24 minutes away (eastern time) from having an entire positive day on the forum 👀

SincereGenuine

Saysoh RE: You seem to be quoting instead of sharing original thoughts, so I'm interested in the references you're quoting. I'd honestly like to do some reading on your references and seeing what's up. Not to position myself, but from what I understand about religion and the disconnect between the two (homosexuality), it's not a happy place for so many people. I'm curious about your ideas, but I'm also curious about the contexts of your quotes. I'm also very curious about who coined, "homoemotional."

I appreciate your reply! Please stay tuned for my reply expected tomorrow . . .

Babichev

I’m amused by the culturally narrow view.

In Kenya, it’s common to see men walking hand in hand, even men wearing military uniforms.

In Nepal, I’ve seen young men sitting on each other’s laps, arms around each other, laughing hysterically at some funny thing.

In Italy I’ve seen men embrace each other with great emotion.

I had a couple of male Saudi roommates for awhile, a pair of grad students. Their male friends would come over to visit. The camaraderie I witnessed among them was amazing; I’ve never seen anything like it among American men.

We don’t need to look at a single verse from a 2,000 year old text referring to a single incident involving a guy who may or may not have lived. If we look around us there are living examples today of men having platonic affectionate relationships with other men..

Blaming abrasive fathers and emasculating mothers is tired old b.s. that rests on scant evidence. Let’s face it, we live in a culture where affection is not expressed between men. If mothers are so emasculating, then perhaps men should take over raising their children and give the moms a break. As for abrasive fathers, the Heavenly Father who demands a blood sacrifice of his own son has got to be the most abrasive father of all. Not exactly an example of unconditional love.

Jesus is also said to have cursed a fig tree for not bearing fruit, even though it was not the season for fruit. I suppose one could use that as a rationalization to have unreasonable expectations of plants that are behaving exactly the way plants were evolved to behave? I think I’ll pass.

@SincereGenuine

So, are you combining bible quotes to build a narrative? Am I correct in that? I get the bible is a huge metaphor open for much interpretation, but I'm not seeing your angle here, yea? My male friends and I always hug, we tell each other we love each other after every phone call which is affection, but I'm still not understading, "homoemotional," and your perspective and interpretation of the bible connects all of this. Are you trying to redifine male affection through cuddling? I'm trying to think beyond the definitions of, "homo," and, "hetero," and just think about simple human connection. Truth be told, by definition, I'm not, "homo," but I've been with men and I have cuddled men (on MDMA), so I'm not sure why the bible is in play here and why you're trying to construct this narrative using bible quotes when society is evolving to allow same sex affection on any level to evolve naturally with outside influence moving aside albeing its going to take some time with societal ideologies in place for this, "utopia," we have in mind.

Also, still waiting on a clear reason why, "homoemotional," is a thing. And to expand, if you use this term, now you have to bring women into this then compare the comfort of women cuddling, holding hands, and just outright way more affectionate with each other and then you have to start thinking about programming of a, "man," in society and outside influence of this statue of men in history and how we're supposed to be, but I don't think comparing chopping up the bible to convey this idea when the reference is based on a human construct, because then this opens up another conversation about what the, "human experience," actually is.

SincereGenuine

Dear Respondents:

Your Enthusiasm for Topic Overwhelms Me & I Am Truly Appreciative But It is Night & I Am Going to Bed. . . . If I Can't Sleep, I May Visit the Site But I Will Try to Respond to Respondents with Replies Where I Left Off Tonight. . . . Thanks for Understanding : )

MCcuddles2

@SincereGenuine thanks for sharing.

While I do not have a religion, I value you as a human being and I think that your experience and identity as a male Christian cuddler is valid. 🙂

I am happy that you are brave enough to share it ❤.

@hogboblin

"To preface: I've done a little bit of research, and it seems to me that "homo-emotional" is a term used by some Christians to deny that homosexuality exists and naturally occurs. From what I've read, "homo-emotional" does refer to emotional needs. However, I have seen it framed as "men without positive father figures/loving male relationships come to crave those things, and a mixture of confusion and society makes them desire sexual relationships with men."

This is...uh...extremely wrong. Not just factually wrong, but wrong in the sense that it says "homosexuality isn't real, it's just men who didn't receive warmth from their dad going overboard and wanting to bang dudes because they're confused and because society is corrupt". It's amazingly demeaning."

This, but this makes me think what a human experience would be back in the day. Invention of fire, weapons, so forth and when ideologies became such an influence to what civilization is now defined and how much constructs have actually robbed us of the true experience of what nature may or may have not intended our experience of life.