Red flag, Green flag.

[Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)
in General

So, we've talked a lot about red flags that come up when talking to someone on here, or interacting with them in the forum, but what about green flags?

What kind of interaction would you consider to be a green flag when it comes to talking to and potentially meeting someone?

Comments

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Sending a photo
    Loves the idea of meeting in public
    Has pics of their adorable kitty or puppy

    For booking me:
    Telling me their name, when and where for cuddles, fave positions if they have any. Maybe telling me their fave band songs or something about their pets to show they read my long profile lol 😆

  • BabichevBabichev

    Has photos & filled out profile.
    Treats you like a real person.
    Takes things at a relaxed pace.
    Takes time to get to know you.
    Asks genuine questions, engages in real conversation.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    Responsive in communication. Is interesting and/or is interested in me. Seems happy, or atleast tries to be. Doesn’t lie, doesn’t try to manipulate me. Sends photo if they don’t have one up. Says they’ll let me play with their pets. As a guy, I have less to fear physically when meeting up with a cuddler.

    I propose a new kind of flag - blue flags. They’re not really bad but not really good either.

  • Cuddle_RNCuddle_RN

    One green flag that really stands out to me: accepting my influence. https://www.gottman.com/blog/husband-can-influential-accept-influence/

    "Research by Dr. John Gottman has shown that relationships are much more successful when men allow themselves to be influenced by their partner. It’s important for women to accept influence too, but the research has shown that the majority of women already do this."

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    @sunnysideup what would be the benefit or purpose of having blue flags?

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited February 2022

    @BuggleBear The blue flag proposition is probably a superfluous change. The purpose is just a way to have all comments in a communication fall under the colored flag categorization to potentially help simplify things, though it may not have this effect (one could just say so and so’s conversation didn’t give off any flags rather than say the conversation consisted primarily of blue flags). This might be confusing though, as to some, a lack of red flags might be a green flag itself.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    I think neutrality is fine, I personally don't see the need for a blue flag when assessing how safe I feel with someone. I think it's enough just to say 'well, there are no green flags, but no red flags either' (although the absence of any green flags for me IS a red flag, much like the absence of any red flags could be a green flag)

    A truly neutral 'blue flag' for me would be something like 'this person has arms'.

  • TouchmesoftlyTouchmesoftly

    @MCcuddles2 😂

  • BabichevBabichev

    I don’t even require arms.

    I’ve not cuddled with this woman but we were at a party and she massaged my shoulders with her nubs.

  • [Deleted User]rhorho1234 (deleted user)
    edited February 2022

    Wow, thank for sharing this @Babichev. She has such a bubbly personality. Time would fly in her company!

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited February 2022

    Wow, what an amazing video. Thank you for sharing @Babichev. I remember getting so annoyed at a cuddle party client because he ignored my suggestion to go on a website like everybody else to register for one of my events - insisting on doing it all over the phone. Then he showed up, and I learned it was all because he was blind. I learned a big lesson that day.

  • PlushandPerfectPlushandPerfect

    Profile picutre (or states in profile they are willing to send one)
    Starts message introducing themselves with a picture.
    As a professional i like when it shows thry have read my profile, i put work into trying to answer all questions and when they ask something that is clearly on my page it shows they didnt read.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Sounds like this whole system of flags was proposed by Peter Gabriel 40 years ago on “Games Without Frontiers”. Here is the verse:

    Andre has a red flag, Chiang Ching's is blue
    They all have hills to fly them on except for Lin Tai Yu
    Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games
    Hiding out in treetops, shouting out rude names

  • JkayJkay

    On this website really basic things have become "green flags".

    1. Things such as, being able to make several suggestions about dates and times they are interested in cuddling so we can come to a consensus.
      1.b When I give someone my cuddle avaiblity and they respond with a meeting time that is during my avaiblitiy time. You have no idea how many times I say things like "I can't meet on Saturday nights" which is followed by a booking request for Saturday evening.
    2. Telling me in advance about their touch and cuddle preferences
    3. Not asking for my phone number
    4. Mentioning things in a message that show they've read my profile.
    5. Graciously excepting a disappointing answer or a no.
  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @jkay there is a startling proportion of the population who are unable to cope with words like "not" or "can't". When discussing things like availability with clients I always try to avoid the negatives, and just don't mention them at all.

  • IggyJReilly55IggyJReilly55

    @Babichev thanks for sharing.

  • notmymichaelnotmymichael

    That’s my red flag. I resist influence SO much. Working on it, now that I’ve identified it.

    @Cuddle_RN

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