Second session not as good as the first

Morpheus

Have you ever had a cuddle session that was so amazing that you booked a second cuddle session with the same person but the second time it wasn’t as good? I ask because the last few session that I’ve had have been off the charts amazing to the point where I feel, how can they possibly get any better? I almost don’t even want to see them again for fear that a second session wouldn’t measure up to the first. I would rather be left with the memory of what was an amazing time rather than being let down and the let down diminishing the feelings of that first session. Has anyone had any experiences like this?

Melancholy

I had this happen before.
It was very disconcerting. I finally asked her if something was wrong.
In this particular case, she told me that another client had become too attached to her so she thought it was her fault
and she decided to be colder or less friendly incase I got the wrong idea like the other guy.
Once I reassured her that I wasn't going to mistake her kindness for something other than her being a wonderful pro cuddler she relaxed and was more like her old self.

loveroftat

I’m new to cuddle comfort and I can’t wait to do a session with someone and build a good cuddle connection and let you experience an amazing time with me over and over again whenever you need (: don’t hesitate to message me . I love pleasing people . being addicted to me is welcomed (:

robroo

Both of my cuddle sessions were amazing but my second one was better for 2 reasons. First I was on time Instead of being 15 mins late and second I added an hour. My brain was so overloaded with all those feel good chemicals that when I stood up I almost fell over lol!

Babichev

There are so many variables at play when two people interact that it’s probably impossible to say. If I found this happening repeatedly with different people I would ask myself what might be going on with me that this might be happening since I’m the common denominator. Perhaps the lack of newness the second time diminishes the experience or perhaps my expectations of the first experience are getting in the way of my being fully present.

If it only happens sometimes or with a particular person, then I’m more likely to think something may be going on on their end or something has shifted in the dynamics between the two of us. Maybe they are distracted for some reason? Maybe they aren’t feeling their best? So many possibilities. The only way to know would be to ask them in the moment, express that something does not seem right, and explore that. That may be difficult for some people but I’d encourage it. If something can be changed to make the experience better, why not do it? A good pro would want you to have a good experience and would want to know if something isn’t going well.

waynewv

I have never had that happen, for me they get better, I feel the trust level grows with each cuddle.
I feel better about getting to know the person more and more.

JohnR1972

@robroo
I am glad to hear I am not the only one that has happened to 😂
I am in excellent health but during my most recent cuddle (my second cuddle with an amazing pro in Michigan) I became so relaxed that I felt like I was going to pass out when I stood up. Not sure if it was the feel good hormones or just really low blood pressure because of my extreme relaxation but either way, I am not complaining 😊

KozyKim

My very first session was really amazing my client really took charge of the cuddle and it was very intense and fun. But the second time I cuddled him it felt more like I was a Girlfriend that he couldn’t kiss. Which made me slightly attached to him and he me, so I had to drop him as a cuddler/ client, bummer because it sure was fun the first time.

Babichev

People become addicted to their massage therapists. I’ve always discouraged it. If people want to see me they are free to do that but I don’t want them to think that they are dependent on me. That would not be in the best interest of the client.

Sometimes a first encounter with someone has a quality to it that is never repeated, kind of like our first experience with someone/something can be particularly exciting. It can be disappointing to lose that experience but if we’re lucky we end up replacing it with another kind of appreciation.

UKGuy

I've had the same experience at restaurants. Went there once and the food was amazing. Went there again and it was blah.

Gallowglass

When I'm going through a rough patch, I try to focus on whether I feel better when I left, than I did when I arrived.

If you want to duplicate a really great session, talk to your cuddler. "I really had a great time, _____". "I liked doing this____". "I didn't get as excited about that...". Session ___ made me feel_____ I'd like more of that." "can we do XYZ again, but without the extra elbow?"

These sorts of conversations will help you establish a rapport, and trust with your cuddler. You'll learn really effective communication. You'll get more of what you want, and all the benefits. You'll eliminate the activities that don't benefit you.

You can plan and communicate your way to better and better sessions. It was only slightly uncomfortable at first and in my entire life, it has taught me ways to go after what I want and to know that I can control my journey of healing.

KYtransplant

I have experienced both. With one it was the second cuddle that I understood I was not entirely comfortable and decided not to continue to see that person again.

Nothing bad, but some people tend to be energy vampires. Not something as an enthusiast I want. There is enough emotionally draining stuff in life. Cuddles should not be one of them.

With the individuals I see regularly it seems it only gets better as there is no awkwardness and I understand them more deeply. Conversations both light and deep well as long periods of quiet time are equally comfortable and soul recharging.

It is a chance to let go of life's every day demands, society's expectations of what sharing intimate time and touch should be and just being present with a safe, gentle caring person. Best feeling 'evah.

KozyKim

@KYtranspant Sounds like you found some good cuddling friends what a blessing❤️

cuddles_ndream

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Nature_Lover_

My experience has been that the cuddles and connection get deeper, more comfortable and better as the sessions progress! The first couple of sessions even though we may both be able to just melt within each others' arms based on prior video chats, screening, and rapport building -can be exciting as we have so much to learn about one another. The bond between repeat connections grows exponentially when the vibe is right.

While I could only begin to speculate as to the variables at play for the experiences not getting better and better, more comfortable, more connected, ect, I can share some general tips which I find helpful.

My first tip would be to have conversations / interactions prior to meeting, even beyond general safety screening to ensure expectations are aligned. The number one reason I have heard within networking with other paid cuddlers as to why sessions digress or otherwise halt is due to misalignment of expectations during the session. Such interactions and conversations are also a great space to ensure you understand your cuddle partner's needs, boundaries, and expectations all together.

The second most common reason I am hearing from cuddlers is that sessions are halted after a party discloses they lied about something serious such as their marital or relationship status. If a cuddle buddy is not open to sessions with someone who is married, then is subsequently told after sessions with a cuddle buddy that they are married or in a relationship, I could see where that would cause a level of distrust and a feeling of having been possibly put into harms way, disrespected, ect. My tip here would be to try and find a cuddle buddy who is ok with your current situation whatever that may be, or otherwise not to lie or a cuddle buddy's trust for granted.

I have heard an abundance of horror stories from people within the cuddle community who had a subsequent session or even a first session go so poorly that they decided to discontinue further sessions. Poor hygiene, showing up late, no call - no show, bringing another person to a session unannounced, and the list goes on. For these circumstances, its case by case for sure, but I could understand someone not wanting to try and salvage future sessions.

At the end of the day, as clients, providers, and enthusiasts, we are all human, are all allowed bad sessions, bad seasons, ect and we can either attempt, by way of communication, to either navigate the digression in sessions or simply seek or select alternative cuddle partners.

As far as clients and pros go, personally I don't care about relationship status and I actually don't want to become or have a client become more and more connected or bonded with each visit. That is just getting into dangerous territory beyond a professional rapport. IMO For enthusiasts, that may be a different story and not my area to comment on.

PlatonicSeeker

@Moxytocin
Thank you for your comment about relationship status. I have not had my first pro cuddle yet and honestly I am not sure that I will actually pursue one with any pro from this site.

I am new to all of this and still trying to figure out exactly what “this” is all about. I’ve been reading the forums for several weeks now and I have read many profiles from pros within a 200 mile range of where I live.

I thought this was a site for making human connection and sharing an hour or two of warm embrace, something I have severely missed since my wife passed away. I have been surprised and disappointed at the amount of information some pros post about things that have been shared with them by clients. I am guessing things the clients said with an expectation that it would not be repeated, at least not on a public forum like this.

Thankfully, I have never seen anyone mention clients by name but I have read comments about how recently multiple men have shared about being abused as children or other such personal and painful information that the client probably did not want to share with the world. Men may open up to someone when they feel safe with that individual but that does not mean they want what they shared repeated, even without mentioning their name(s). And let’s be real, it would not take a genius to look through the pro’s recent karma and quickly narrow down who they might be talking about.

I am a widower. But for a purely platonic site that has rules against discussing religion on the forums, I don’t understand why that should matter. I doubt anyone is coming here for confession or forgiveness.

My wife and I had a beautiful, loving and nurturing relationship for nearly 15 years. But I know not everyone has what we had. I know married co-workers who openly talk about how cold their relationships are with their spouses and at least one doesn’t even sleep in the same room as their spouse. I have another co-worker who is married but in a very open relationship. BTW, I am not repeating anything said to me in confidence, these people regularly give TMI to anyone and everyone.

Does any of this matter if a person is looking for purely platonic touch? Pay for a cuddle and get a free moral judgment and as a bonus anything you say in private may be repeated online.

@PlatonicSeeker I am so sorry about the loss of your wife. ♥️

And also about conversations that you've seen on the forums.

If you read around quite a bit you'll find that the site started out as purely an enthusiast site. But the problem with this site just like any other similar or dating site is that there ends up being an imbalance of men versus women, and women get inundated with messages.

There were also other websites out there creating certification trainings and making cuddling an actual career field. So between that and the imbalance of demand, charging money for their time became just one way for (mostly) women to weed out men who are looking for something less platonic.

Also, on this site, anyone can sign up and apply to be a pro without any kind of training or certification at all. I have taken trainings, but I haven't finished any certifications. I do have a history in the medical field though and understand about client confidentiality, and I agree that info about clients shouldn't be discussed in the forums. Unfortunately, there are many people who sign up out of curiosity and get approved as pros thinking 🤑🤑🤑 and then post saying "Help! Now what do I do?"

I wish you the best in your search for an enthusiast, whether here or elsewhere. There are many active in the forums. There are plenty of men here who have seen a number of enthusiasts. A lot of them have also seen pros though to get started and get some karma.

TheFunCartel

This has happened with a couple of pros that seemed to think they had me permanently as a client and decided they could sleep through most of the second session. I am sure they are wondering when I will ever get around to a third. To me their actions on the second time around demonstrated what their motivations were regarding me as a client. I certainly do not have Sealy stamped on my forehead, nor do I plan on getting a bed brand tattoo in the future.

Nature_Lover_

@PlatonicSeeker I am deeply sorry for your loss and find your viewpoints to be very valid. Thank you for being authentic and for sharing and I also commend you for being actionable within exploring options to meet your needs. Above all else I wish you the best.
Regarding relationship status, I find many people feel it should be irrelevant to the service provided though in some cases people strongly consider relationship status highly applicable. This is an infantile and unregulated industry with the exception of course of the terms and conditions listed on the applicable booking platforms ect -
I’ve heard many state that with respect to the platonic nature of the service it should not matter who is single or who is not as we wouldn’t choose a barber, a hair stylist, a talk therapist ect based on such a status. The reality is some people prefer to know because they may worry about a jealous spouse, or harming directly or indirectly a spouse or person’s family. How could something platonic cause harm? Something intended to help people seeking comfort and meet their needs in a safe way be so “hazardous,” ? In my opinion it speaks to variability of what the parties involved. For instance, some people may view the sharing of energy and ideas and closeness of cuddling, laughing and crying together for instance, as more intimate than intercourse. Certain folks of differing religious and or cultural backgrounds may be positioned to view things differently as well. I don’t think there is a one size fits all, and it’s a matter of what LENSE you are viewing the matter from. I also know some people prefer to cuddle with people of different sexual orientation to alleviate any fear of unintended sexual arousal or undesired sexual advances.
I also fully understand where you might be upset to read about people referencing relationship status impacting their feeling of safety based on prior abuse or trauma while confidentiality is key, just sharing those general reasons as to why such a status could make someone feel more safe or secure might still be upsetting but perhaps ultimately the matter could be more directly answered by the site owners / operators with respect to the applicability portion.

@Moxytocin Just to clarify, when I say my sessions with repeat clients get better or progress this is not to imply there is any romantic or sexual progression as there is not. Due to the release of oxytocin and serotonin, for me, the bond is real. It’s always platonic and friendly, respectful, ect, but it’s real and the comfort, the trust and connection does typically get deeper.

@FunCartel I once had a client mention some paid cuddlers had fallen asleep with him and while I’ve yet to do this unintentionally- in their defense he was such a warm, wonderful and comforting person that it was easy to relax and feel safe enough to just slip into dreaming in his arms. So while in your case of course, you anticipated a conscious session and that is not great that the other party just went to snoozing but for what it’s worth that does speak to their comfort with you.

PlatonicSeeker

@Moxytocin @Nature_Lover_
Thank you both for your responses.

When I read through the forums as a whole, not just a couple random samples, I see a LOT of hurting people here. I do not mean that in a negative or condescending way, I count myself among the hurting. I had not anticipated this when I joined the site but in hind sight it makes perfect sense.

Some people posting in the forums are very open about the source of their hurt, others… not so much, but it is still very evident they are hurting from the comments they leave.

I have also noticed MANY people (men, women, pros and enthusiasts) leave their marital status blank in their profiles. Whenever I see a blank marital status, I do not assume the person is single or married or divorced, I just assume they don’t want to share that information with a bunch of strangers.

While I don’t condone lying, I understand it and I will tell you it is pretty common on this site. I am a digital artist and over the past 8 years I have edited thousands of photos of models so I am very good at guessing ages within +/- 1 year and there are some pros on here taking 4+ years off their real age).

But back to my main point, about relationship status, I can understand a legitimate concern about potential harm from a jealous spouse but I don’t see how that would be any different than the risk from a jealous ex-spouse or jealous ex-girlfriend. For that matter, are there situations where a client could be at risk from a pro’s ex-spouse if she is divorced?

I can also understand someone not volunteering, or even lying about, very personal matters to a stranger. While you can exchange messages with or do a video chat with someone before a cuddle, when you meet for the first time you are still essentially strangers.

If things go well and both parties agree to additional cuddles, I think it likely they would start to open up to each other more as they get to know each other better. That may involve sharing things they previously withheld, avoided talking about or potentially even lied about. While it may be hurtful to know someone initially lied, everyone has the choice of focusing on what someone said (or didn’t say) when you were still a stranger or focusing on what they were willing to share when they felt comfortable enough to open up.

Just my proverbial $0.02 on the matter.

Nature_Lover_

@PlatonicSeeker I again commend you for your transparency and honesty! Your points are valid and I truly appreciate you sharing because often I see things from my small viewpoint when in reality there is a bigger picture to consider ! With respect to lying I was once in a relationship with a partner for over a decade who originally lied about his core religious beliefs. The love was so strong between us that he was willing to lie about something that big to ensure he could still be with me. Again the love was deeper than the oceans and I don’t regret the memories we made, the life we shared, despite the incongruence in our core beliefs which I originally stated in courting would be a deal breaker. My personal issue is when I am multiple sessions into growing, healing, sharing, investing time with clients and they disclose they are actually married and seeking love and or physical or emotional intimacy on the side and have chosen me for such. I understand and respect everyone has needs and I just simply do not desire to waste anyone’s time, energy or resources if our goals or intentions are not both set to platonic cuddling. The need for and benefit of platonic touch within a safe container are HUGE and if I am spending time with someone who is lying about marital status with the hopes of sexual coercion that can be upsetting as I am turning away other prospective clients who are up front about their status, or respectfully keep it private though do not have motives beyond platonic cuddling.
I think this is a case of two things which can be true at once and I am grateful you are civil and open to productive dialogue because at the end of the day there will always be divisive issues but we all stand to benefit when we can respect one another, really listen and consider one another and just hold space for each other.

Also with regard to the disparity in reported age and actual age, I’ll cop to this one, I’m really 23 🤷‍♀️🤣🤪

TheFunCartel

@Nature_Lover_ Uh, when they go to sleep in the first ten minutes and are so asleep that I can hardly rouse them then that is a paid sleeper, not a cuddler in my book. I can see it if they doze off unintentionally, but this was pretty much unconsciousness for an hour and a half before I figured a way to get them to leave.

Nature_Lover_

@FunCartel I hear you %100. When expectations don’t match outcomes and the stakes are high such as the need for platonic touch and interaction - that’s a real bummer. If I fell asleep immediately I would probably offer a refund or credit that time in a session going forward especially if my cuddle buddy did not specifically want to connect and melt away into sleep together.
I have had multiple cuddle buddy’s crash out on me and that is a compliment to me but I am not the paying party and my needs for platonic touch and interaction are never the primary focus of a booked session obviously.

@PlatonicSeeker I am actually 49 and my husband knows I'm here, but it really shouldn't matter if anyone knows that. I have no idea what the relationship status is of my doctor or my massage therapist and it doesn't matter to me.

MissX

@PlatonicSeeker Although pros are asked their relationship status when they set up their profiles the field is not publicly shown regardless of it they answer or not.

Wonder why they would ask if it's not displayed?

@dpl It's because the site is a database, so everyone sees the same fields when they sign up and fill out the profile. The function that displays the relationship status field is set to turn off for members with the pro designation. Likely because relationship status of a professional is irrelevant.

PlatonicSeeker

@Moxytocin I never doubted you for a minute and I am smart enough to keep my strongly held suspicions to myself about who may be using “creative accounting” when adding up the years since their birth 😊

@MissX Thank you for clarifying that for me. As a non-pro I had no way of knowing that was the case and it just seemed hypocritical for any pro to make an issue of a client’s marital status if they did not share their own marital status. I agree with Moxytocin that it should not matter anyway but everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Nature_Lover_

@MissX Yes, thank you for clarifying than above misconception as I thought our relationship status was visible to all. Beyond that, I now wonder if our sexual orientation is also concealed ? It seems to me there would be no reason to collect such data if indeed it is irrelevant and also concealed. With respect to templates, filters, code by which website functionalities are dictated, simply not collecting the unnecessary information seems more efficient?

MissX

@Nature_Lover_ I believe the sexual orientation is hidden on pro accounts too. Although I answered it I don't see it showing in my profile.