Taking the communication offsite

achetocuddle

Has anyone ever had a good result from quickly taking the chat offsite? My personal philosophy is the same as the site's philosophy. I am sticking to my guns and never going to take communication offsite until I know someone extremely well.
Just curious.

You mean like emails?

Gallowglass

Until I've met a person, I'm leary. However, it makes it easier/faster/more convenient to use a phone or other app, to arrange and maintain contacts and communications. I've only once had to deal with a creaper.

@achetocuddle Yes and no.

I trusted and met with one individual who became a long term cuddle partner. Zero issues, who he said he was, I would have liked him instantly even if we had met in passing elsewhere.

And then another who once I felt comfortable enough to take the communication off site it slid into a ditch fairly quickly.

Now I will not take any communication offsite until I've met them in person and gotten a good feeling about them.

achetocuddle

I felt like it was 50/50 at the very best. It's hard to believe how many guys think you will almost immediately go offsite. You can tell they are not thinking about the people they are messaging and their concerns for safety. I daresay some of the people that have messaged me do no thinking at all. Lol.

Cuddle_RN

@achetocuddle, you're absolutely right, it's unbelievable how many men seem to be completely oblivious to women's safety concerns. Every time some bozo does something offensive, I add it to my profile as a DON'T. I NEVER take the conversation off this site until after the first time we meet, and even then if I'm not 100%, and I mean 100%, comfortable with him, he does not get another way to contact me. Do not be nice when it comes to your safety!

Lovelight

Yes. While I'm not SO quick to offer or accept to take it off the site, depending on whether or not there are red flags: I may accept to use another platform more early on. Even the ones that may not go well, I consider them going well because I get to see their true colors when they aren't so much afraid to have their account banned or something. Not to say that they aren't still at risk of a ban or their conduct possibly getting noted, even after they go off the site. Though I get where you're coming from. I do still try to get a feel for the person I'm interacting with and what they may be about. All in all, go about it how you feel comfortable which may change from time to time and over time.

Lovelight

Though there are also extremes like guys who'd message something like "cuddle tonight?" and it's like 10 PM or something like 12 am. No, thanks?* Can't even really do evenings, especially with someone I don't even know. So nah.

SunsetSnuggles

@Lovelight said:

Even the ones that may not go well, I consider them going well because I get to see their true colors when they aren't so much afraid to have their account banned or something.

This is sooo true, the real colors can come out!

~ Sunset Snuggles

CuddleDuncan

@LatinMan1963 possibly email, although more likely Whatsapp or another message app.

It's a infra-red flag if they want to use an app that has disappearing messages, such as Snapchat.

If you do receive an untoward message on an app, feel free to screenshot it and send it to the mods along with the username. Evidence is very helpful. (In other words, if you have technically broken the TOS by taking the conversation offsite, don't worry about it. You're not going to get banned just for doing that.)

bekah_cuddles

Not until I've already had a session with them that went well. I learned early on that once you take communication off site, they're far more likely to try to push boundaries and it's harder to report them.

Shake

@Lovelight Am I a terrible person for picturing them with a caveman voice?

11:30pm- "Me ready. Cuddle now? Ooga taga!"

achetocuddle

@Shake49 Hilarious! Some of you are so funny you should take your act on the road. I'm being sincere, not sarcastic.

@Lovelight Yes indeed! When you go off site you see the true colors of the person

I currently communicate with a few cats I met on the site. No issues for me. Guess I'm lucky.

I have to see a picture of the person if they don't have one posted on their profile. Then I want to go on video chat with them before meeting to get a sense of what they are like and to see if their pic matches them. No pic and they are blocked. No video chat and they are blocked.

TheMidnightOwl

@achetocuddle

Quickly? No, it's rarely a good result if done quickly, especially if pressured. However, as some have mentioned, if someone's intentions are not good that often becomes apparent much quicker off site, in my experience. I have apps that keep my phone number private to do video calls with people I don't know so well yet before an initial meeting. But anyone who pressures to move off site right away, that is typically a red flag. But keep in mind if someone crosses a line, you can still take screenshots and report it even if it's not on-site, if it's in text form. But if you feel that hard boundary is needed, go with your intuition. There are a lot of predators in all spheres of life, so naturally many end up here.

Also, snapchat now has a feature where you can save messages in the chat so they don't disappear, which is great for such text encounters with members.

With that said, if this platform had an instant chat and video call features, and came in an app form, it would essentially eliminate the need to go elsewhere to do video interviews before meeting.

Yep to what @Cuddle_RN and @Lovelight said.

Also, yes to: "I daresay some of the people that have messaged me do no thinking at all. lol"