How It Works
How It Works
Hugs vs cuddles
In a cuddle group on Fetlife, someone made a comment about hugs vs cuddles, and that cuddles should be reserved for 'someone special'. The following was my response.
A hug can be just a greeting if that is all you want it to be. It can also be a way of establishing a bond with someone. A long sustained hug with a lot of yourself and emotion put into it can be so much more. I disagree that cuddling should only be reserved for 'someone special'. There are professional cuddlers who provide non sexual platonic cuddling for a fee, and I have heard that it provides the same benefits as cuddling between two people in love. I personally will provide cuddling for free to any woman who wants it. Whether they want the non sexual platonic cuddles, cuddles with a full relationship involved, or anything in between, I will always give them as much love and caring as I possibly can. BTW, 'platonic', at least in its original definition, means loving deeply in a very spiritual manner that is above physical needs, but does not necessarily exclude them. It later took on the meaning of being non sexual.
I thought that this might start a good discussion here. I look forward to reading the thoughts of others here on this.
Glad to hear another Fetlife user is on here
I love this and agree with it.... a hug can be just a way to greet someone, something a bit more intimate than a handshake, but still kept I guess platonic would be the right word for it... more welcoming than a handshake, but doesn't have to mean that you're intimate, if that makes sense.
It could be said that a hug is an embrace that lasts for a few seconds and the longer the embrace, the more intimate it can become. I say "can become" because as most Pros here can tell you, they open up apart of themselves to cuddlers to help heal others and be intimate without it being sexual. So there is a point where a hug becomes cuddling and, depending on the people cuddling, if the cuddling is intimate in a platonic sense or a romantic one. If cuddling was reserved only for "someone special", there would be a lot of lonely and even depressed people longing for touch that they would get into relationships solely to be held, regardless if the relationship was good or not. So while it may be the view of some that it should be reserved, I think that is unhealthy, but each person has their own reasons for their views on it and not one to judge.
I think it can be nearly or just as rewarding for both people cuddling, regardless if they are together or not, if both are open about the intentions. In the case here on this site, it's clear between Pros and clients that it is platonic cuddling.
I may just rambling if I keep talking, but loved your post and wanted to add to it
One should always invite someone into a hug to confirm they want it; i'm just opening arms and stepping toward someone pressures in a little bit to go along with it. Always invite verbally, unless you are already very close
I am mainly on Fetlife because my wife created an account for me to distinguish between me and her master. My screen name there says it all, Vanilla_Jay. Thank you for loving my post, and wanting to add to it. ;-)
You are absolutely right about asking for a hug rather than just stepping into it. Different people have different comfort levels that should always be taken into consideration. The same thing can be said for cuddling. Communication is paramount.
chococuddles (deleted user)
Fetlifer here. Don't know why I haven't looked for cuddling groups on there. Thanks for the tip.