Why I think this merits special appreciation requires just a scrap of backstory.
Speaking as a 42 year old gay dude in the south I remember any number of horrible things. Being backed up against a door by 3 dudes from the football team, a guy who had loudspeakers on his jeep (who does that? Lol) blaring slurs at me when we were stopped in traffic.
This post isn’t about woe is me. In a lot of ways I am incredibly grateful for a lot of that- twisted as that sounds. I learned resilience and compassion and the gift of having been hopeless and wanting it all to end and then coming back from it. Repeatedly.
Walking that path both ways makes it familiar territory and I can now walk it with others. In fact I do so professionally.
I suspect fairly strongly that most of those guys look back on what they did and feel horrible. While I don’t think what happened was anywhere near okay, I have moved past it in most ways.
On the very off chance loudspeaker guy reads this- we’re good. Pinky promise, bro. If we need to hug it out then let’s go.
Straight guys- you offering basic physical closeness with people who have histories like mine is finally having a tangible piece of counter narrative. An example that proves that it’s possible to not have to be on guard, not required to always have that feeling in your gut like going down a set of dark stairs and miscounting the steps by one. That oddly buoyant lead balloon that sits there for years and for some of us it never goes away.
Thanks for letting it finally be safe to have touch. It helps a lot more than most people even know how to say.
-all the love
Rusty