Do People Just Lack Social Skills and Good Old Fashioned Manners Nowadays?!

I’m totally just venting right now. It really irks me to no end when I receive a message from a potential client and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is “when are you available?”

No “Hi! How are you?” “Nice profile, can we chat?” Nothing. It’s so offputting to me and while I understand that I am here to provide a cuddling service for people, I’m still human and not a nameless vendor. In addition, cuddling is an intimate action—why would I want to cuddle with someone who hasn’t even made minimal contact to get to know me. Maybe it’s a Los Angeles thing, but people can just be so rude. 😖

stormydaycuddle

Some people are shy but I do understand that it can be disregard. My big one is people telling me when we are going to meet like its set in stone and their word is law. I always pass on that.

SunsetSnuggles

Check out this thread: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/13870/let-s-get-to-know-each-other

~ Sunset Snuggles

Rezz

Oh trust me it's not just you.
I give people the same energy they give me.
When I receive these types of messages
I just respond with

No.

Or

Not interested

I don't care if it's viewed as rude , uncaring or if I lose a prospective client, it's one I didn't want anyways if they can't muster up a basic half ass greeting.

I don't let these messages bother me. They just screened themselves and saved me the headache of doing it myself. ♥️

quixotic_life

"Do People Just Lack Social Skills and Good Old Fashioned Manners Nowadays?!"
I do, and I'm a "people", so yes, yes they do.

Mike403

I did that to the first pro I contacted when I joined this site. I was booking her like I was booking a plumber. I'm still seeing her a monthly basis nearly 5 years later. Some people may be on the autism spectrum like me and be unable to properly interact with people.

WriterGF

I sometimes think "Request to Book" sends the wrong message. It doesn't sound like you are being invited to introduce yourself and make small talk ... just make an appointment.

@Mike403 I appreciate your response. I never considered that maybe some of my prospective clients may struggle with social skills due to autism; I’m glad you were able to eventually communicate with her and have had a successful friendship since then 😊

MCcuddles2

Well, they're just following instructions 😁

@MCcuddles2 I feel like you’re justifying being rude. How would you explain the people that actually give a greeting instead of a curt “are you available today” or “when can you meet?” Ummm first of all…do I even WANT to meet up with you??

Mike403

@Mama_Ang - I'm just glad it worked out with the first pro I contacted. If I was met back with a "no thanks", I probably would have left the site and never returned.

Paid cuddling was a very new concept to me and I didn't understand the unwritten etiquette that you should introduce ourselves and make small talk first.

@Rezz Thank you for helping me feel seen and heard 🧡🙏🏼

MCcuddles2

@Mama_Ang my comment is tongue in cheek, of course, based on the site's instructions to new members.

Of course people should act like they are talking to another human being.

UCpaaHVg6u0

When I contact anybody who is conducting some type of business, I try to get to the point under the assumption that they are busy and not that interested in my inquiries about how their day is going. But I guess I had that wrong. Maybe I'm on the spectrum too. When I meet clients of mine in person, I pull extroversion out of thin air. I make people chuckle and see me over and over. But in this forum... 🦗🦗🦗
I think there may be some widespread introversion among the cuddle community.

cuddles_ndream

They actually have both , they just choose
To ignore or disregard them when not physically infront of you , Jadakiss said it best - “social media is giving cowards an outlet”.

People would let others call them a derogatory name on a bus or gas station straight to their face & do nothing about it but fold & complain about it here, than turn around & play the tough role here as a perfect example…

If you choose to ignore those entitled people that feel like you’re just here to say yes - they got what they deserve ! If you choose to correct them and or tell them off, they got what they deserve as well.

achetocuddle

Yes.

And social media is definitely giving cowards an outlet. Just read some of the other threads in this forum.

This is a simpleton way of saying my thought, but it is strange and puzzling how many people think that not being nice here is a way to get anywhere.

xxRCubedxx

Yes. The answer is yes.

CuddleWho

Well, yeah, some people are just rude. That's a thing.

But, to be a little generous towards these people

1. some people are neurodivergent in a way that makes it hard for them to be social in a way perceived as normal by others, and

2. many more people, especially older people, function normally in person, but just come across weird online due to not understanding online social norms.

stormydaycuddle

@CuddleWho 💯

PeopleLikeUs

You can pretty much bet that when someone approaches me cold with "I'm down for anything today" that it ain't gonna happen especially in L.A. where people need to learn relationship skills.

pmvines

Some people do assume that it's ok to book a session this way . If you contact someone in a different field in the service industry, it is pretty normal to not have a dialogue other than to schedule. Some folks may be of that same mindset on here. So I wouldn't necessarily say that they are being rude or weird about it on purpose

achetocuddle

@UCpaaHVg6u0 I assume when I do business IRL that people want me to get to the point too, especially since I'm an old wide women. Lol. Sometimes I finally figure out they actually want to talk to me. And I am an introvert.

If I were a pro I would really dislike what @Mama_Ang is putting up with. I know she's not the only one. It happened to me once also. Very off-putting. Especially since he kept plowing right thru without reading my response. He has since been banned. YAY!

TheFunCartel

Ok, there are some things to consider here, namely, that not every pro is the same. I don’t say are you available off the bat and generally send a medium paragraph or two introduction. Yet on a few occasions I have received a message back to those introductions saying “do you want to schedule an appointment or chat?” meaning get busy booking or get busy leaving. And that’s planning a week out! So I think some understanding needs to be applied here. Anyone that would out right eliminate someone over that introduction is under the impression that all pros want the same approach and my experience is pros are people too, and people being people, you can never predict what their reaction will be. Maybe just message back and say “tell me a bit about yourself”. See what they say.

Mela_B

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because you never know where people are coming from. I understand that it can be off-putting, but I've had people that I didn't really understand or relate to online show up in person and be absolutely wonderful. And then I was glad that I had given them a chance.

TheFunCartel

@Mela_B We definitely concur on that.

Mela_B

@FunCartel and I'm sure people have felt the same way about me at times. We all have off days.

Shake

Honestly I didn't know what the proper manners for bookings was at all when I was new. Was just finding out what cuddle therapy was and was eager to ease my anxiety, if cuddling had that kind of healing power. The first person close enough that I got a good vibe from, I read their profile, saw they like a two weeks notice, and sent a request three weeks from that day with a generic "hi I'm new and..." type of message. She was pretty understanding and kind.

Another pro, I kinda felt worse for in hindsight because I didn't have an intent to book and just sorta acted on a random thought that entered my head. Sent a message saying along the lines of "hey, you look like Gal Gadot" and not until after that did I think to myself "yea, that was probably an odd message to get from someone without a face" lol

Since then though, I try to personalize first messages the best I can. Who knows? Maybe some of the cuddlers in your DMs are just stumbling at the start, and about to try a new approach with someone else like I did. That's not going to be the case for everyone, but it's still worth noting I think.

Rezz

@Mama_Ang

Ummm first of all…do I even WANT to meet up with you??

This.

This is why a proper introduction is important. Say hi, introduce yourself, make me feel comfortable and WANT to meet you.

Going straight to "I want to hire you now" does not instill any comfort or confidence that you are here for the right reasons.

We are human offering human connection, treat us with some respect. Nice first impressions when you want us to offer an intimate service like cuddling are more likely to receive a response.

I realize there are some people here who struggle with communication, that's why this discussion is crucial. In the same breath it's also important to those who have difficulty with communication to understand that people who send us these types of messages very typically have serious issues with crossing boundaries and treat us like sex workers.

If you're someone who finds it difficult to send a first message or communicate this opening line is simple and shows us you took the time to read our name at minimum.

Hi _____, I'm _______.

I'm interested in booking a session ( day / timeframe ) if you have any availability.
Thank you and have a great day!

Much better than

available 2night?

Mike403

@Rezz - I wouldn't want to meet anyone who spells it like "2night" either. How much more work is it to type out the entire word?

Jokes aside, your suggested method works, and I believe that's how I met my first pro. I wasn't sure if you were implying that it was rude to ask for a session in the first message.

nature700

I agree with @FunCartel and @Mela_B . It’s important to give people a chance. Those that are rude often continue to be, making it more obvious. Sometimes, they are just having a bad day.
From an enthusiasts perspective, I’ve had rude responses from Pros on this site— from initial questions too!
Some people lack the ability to communicate well over messages.
You may try a cordial response when you get short messages. For those favorable replies - Awesome! For those who continue to be short, you may get them
to open up. For the rest, that’s okay too. You’ve all learned something.

achetocuddle

@Mela_B You are right, but I've never seen you have an off-day in the forum. I enjoy your posts.

@Mike403 It's not a deal breaker, but I don't like 2night/2nite either. It's Ok, but much prefer spelled out words and letter style writing. When I see someone is a keeper I ignore it.