Deep thoughts and feelings from my first cuddle

**So started typing this out and it became something between ramblings of a long ass diary post and an inner monologue essay pondering my feelings. lol

So real talk on your first cuddling session and the head space it placed you in after.

I'm sure I have similarities behind my reasons for joining the site as others. I shut down years ago trying to meet someone on any type of dating site. I'm not the person to go out into the world to do things that allow me to meet new like minded people. I'm a geek so dating almost always existed exclusively online. To get to a point of cuddling, affection, basic human contact not derived from an occasional hug from family or friend takes work, time, and effort. A long time ago that drive to actively seek it out dried up for me. I wasn't in a place in my life where trying to date or seeking that outside affection just wasn't in the books for me.

During that time, still up to now it does not mean I didn't want a connection to be touched, held, gripped tightly in a close embrace. But as Spock would say for me at least, it hasn't been logical to attempt to seek it out.

Let's fast forward. I moved to a region with a huge population density compared to where I was. I had heard of cuddling connection sites before but now I finally looked it up. Created a blank account to look at profiles, read faq, search and discover what this form of cuddling connection is about.

After lurking casally for months, I got the courage to at least fill out my profile. Add a picture, just a little text description with enough to hopefully get me started. Reached out to see about setting up a booking and ended up set a time a few days away which gave me time to dive deeper into the forums, videos, other sites and reading experiences good, bland, and bad before my first session.

The day arrives. My room and myself is as clean as it was going to be. I had read a forum post here that said don't go into a session with halitosis. I was like *hit I haven't been in a situation of being that close to a person in years. So I put extra effort in dental care the last few days before.

For my first ever session, sitting there before anything starts while making small talk with a huge rush of my own awkwardness as it is with meeting a new person face to face with the intentions of sharing an close intimate experience in the sense of breaking that personal boundary of touch from someone just meeting face to face which is how we chose to meet.

Not getting into the actual session but it was a positive experience. Afterwards it left me pondering a lot in my head. It's hard to explain but it was like exposing my soul on a plate and offering or maybe handing it to someone while trying to make a human, or maybe personal, connection through touch and warmth. Thats coming from all previous experinces of touch could only come after a period courtship or sex.

For me at least it left me with a feeling of deep scaredness. Not scared about the person I was with but for the future of meeting other people on the site to seek more human connection through cuddling. What it means to expose my most inner self, or maybe it's more from the feelings of what it means to open myself to being touched. Since before that moment being touched ment being loved or thinking or wishing you were loved by a partner or person you're in bed with.

I was not expecting or had the notion of the deep questions for myself I was left with after. Do I want to allow myself to feel that with someone else I may just meet once? Do I want to feel that way over the possibility of multiple experiences on this site? I don't think I can answer that right now.

I still do not have a drive to spend the energy and emotional toll to seek out anything like dating for that kind of connection at the moment. So where does that leave me if I feel that feeling of being touch starved again? I sat on that feeling for years without it really bothering me. I could fall right back into it and keep to myself in my own little bubble I stay in day to day.

I didn't mean to write an entire essay this morning but I read a lot of forum posts here. If someone could at least understand my ramblings of where I'm coming from, it's someone here. Not my first time writing where once it starts flowing it keeps writing itself. If this gets comments I'm not usually bad at replying but I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Snuggluffagus (deleted user)

    Dude, that's really cool to see the opposite of me. Hopefully it keeps working for you. The women I've been chatting up have all been super nervous too. Luckily for me, I'm a calm voice in a storm. Although I haven't used the site much, in person it is so easy for me to put a woman at ease.

    Thanks for sharing man, I know you're likely to enjoy additional great and exciting experiences.

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    @homebody286
    I totally understand what you have shared and admire you for doing so. It takes strength to bare your soul in an open forum. I am glad your first experience was positive and I really hope you pursue other opportunities because you are worthy of touch and affection. This is a great community to make connections and develop new friendships.
    I look forward to seeing more of your participation in the forums.

  • ❤❤ I loved reading this. Its certainly a scary thing to be emotionally vulnerable with any human, but also very beautiful.

  • @homebody286 You were so brave to share this, and you express yourself wonderfully!

    I am in a relationship, but I have the exact same questions as you do, even before cuddling anyone from the site, because I know myself... I've only cuddled my three boyfriends, and I know there's a huge possibility of regret if I begin "promiscuous cuddling". It's something that, once done, I could never take back. Sharing that kind of closeness with someone who, as you said, I may never see again, holds a high possibility of regret for me.

    This is due to many factors specific to me and I realize many people are not this way, but it's something that has made me take it very slow on this site, as I get to know people, question myself, have talks with my boyfriend, and just let the concept soak in. I have a deep desire to share closeness and love with more people, but your questions are absolutely something I fully identify with. Thank you so much for sharing!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • @homebody286 I loved reading this so much. Though I found myself jealous of the professional you selected getting to experience your first cuddle experience, and them or another professional getting to possibly continue you on your journey through touch reconnection and thought exploration. 😆 I love that so much in this work, and I'm always so excited to start new journeys with people as open and inquisitive as you are! I'm so glad it was a positive experience though. You picked good! 😊

  • Very good post, @homebody286, very good post. Thank you.

  • @homebody286 Great post of your experience. Brave step in taking the plunge after long period of being in your bubble. Hopefully the positive experience helps overcome the doubts and get your touch needs met, if you wish. Good look in your thoughts and journey.

  • Thank you for sharing this extremely vulnerable sentiment. It's valuable to read other perspectives.

  • @SunsetSnuggles at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I don’t think I’d be able to handle “promiscuous cuddling” while involved with someone. Especially if one wasn’t up front with or disclosed it.

    There seems to be a hazy grey area there and IMO, it’s an intimacy I’d only want to share with a gf/wife/partner and not others when I’m in a healthy, committed relationship. That’s just me and I’m well aware not everyone shares my views. I also understand people do this for money and it’s purely transactional. I just wouldn’t be comfortable with a significant other doing it and that’s just me being 100% honest. I’m only going by my brief interaction with the lifestyle and I’m sure others have had different experiences or outlook and I respect that. I hope I haven’t offended anyone here, it’s not my intention to do so.

    I continue to operate with an open mind and from reading the forum, it’s been beneficial for many of you.

  • edited May 2022

    @homebody286 thanks for sharing this. I'm new to the site, and I have been considering hiring a pro. I have mixed feelings about this, and your post sums it up well for me. Even if it is a positive experience, how will I feel about the intimacy factor? And yet, the simple intimacy of touch is what I'm craving. It isn't going to bed with someone, though that is a way I have gotten my needs for intimacy met in the past. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

  • @CobaltRacer55 I'm not entirely sure I can, either, hence my turtling my way very slowly towards the concept. :3 I 100% agree with you about disclosure. It's the first question I ask married people on this site, and while I will be friends with them, I would not cuddle someone who didn't have spousal knowledge/consent, like I do with my boyfriend. Thus far, I've been tremendously enjoying making friends on this site, but I'm unsure when I'll be ready to go out there and cuddle. I love the idea of cuddling friends, but I'm a slow mover when I'm concerned with regret. Thank you for sharing!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

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