The last significant thing you changed your mind about?

JohnR1972

In my “former life” (pre-2012) I was in middle management of a well known Fortune 500 company where I interviewed many people to fill open positions in my department. One of my favorite interview questions to ask was “what is the last significant thing you changed your mind about?” To me the only “wrong” answer was a blank stare or something really trivial.

Growth requires change and I found this to be an excellent question to give me insights into an interviewee’s mindset. Are they open to new ideas and re-evaluating their existing beliefs from time to time or do they cling to ideas just because that is what they were told / taught as a child and they are not intellectually curious enough to challenge themselves and, in the words of one author I have read, “think again for the first time.”

I have gone through so much change in the past year I feel like I could write a book on this subject but I will lead off with just 2 personal examples…

1) the importance of “clean eating” - doing away with processed food and added sugar not only for physical benefits but also for mental clarity. This was the first step of my physical, mental and emotional transformation that started last year.

2) the danger of all forms of, for lack of a better term, tribalism. One example of tribalism is political parties but the concept is certainly not limited to political parties. Any group or activity that promotes “us vs them” thinking is dangerous in the long term and many are dangerous in the short term as well.

What have you changed your mind about recently?

Carl2714

Learning to emphathize more and judge less

JohnR1972

@Carl2714 - that is a beautiful list. I especially identify with #6

SunsetSnuggles

Fantastic topic, @JohnR1972!

Two things sprang to mind. I will remain vague on the first, since it directly involves someone here, but getting to know them and hearing their experience the past two months really opened my eyes to something I was entirely ignorant and uneducated about, before, and as a result I am more open-minded, informed, and compassionate.

The second thing was eating animals. I went from a meat lover to a full-blown vegan, overnight, in 2017. A mindset switch was flipped, and it changed everything for me. I lost weight immediately upon becoming a vegan, but much more importantly, it really meant something to me emotionally and morally, and following a conviction made me feel very happy and capable. Zero negativity toward non-vegans, FYI.

~ Sunset Snuggles

JohnR1972

@SunsetSnuggles - thank you for sharing and I appreciate the non-judgmental attitude toward us meat eaters 😊 (Keto works for me but I am all about people finding what works best for them).

I follow several health channels on YouTube and there can be a lot of judgment between diet “tribes” (vegan vs keto vs carnivore). While conflicting studies exist, one of the largest and most recent studies on Vegan vs Keto diet showed both produced similar weight loss and health improvement. The conclusion of that particular study suggested it had less to do with whether or not you eat meat and more to do with the fact both diets eliminate most highly processed foods and sugar.

SunsetSnuggles

@JohnR1972 Absolutely! I ate meat multiple times a day for the vast majority of my life, so I have nothing to say against those who still do so. 😊 I'll even admit that dead pigs smell absolutely scrumptious! 😆 It is what it is.

I tried keto very briefly once, and loved it! (The difference for me was, keto was a diet, while veganism is more akin to a religion, for me.)

~ Sunset Snuggles

sillysassy

WOW!!! @JohnR1972 what a fabulous and thought provoking topic. ✅✅✅

I am going to process that and let it marinate for a minute but I wanted to say thank you!!!

@SunsetSnuggles of course you are such a doll.... sharing yourself and being vulnerable. Every time I see your pic I think of how cute and sassy you are showing off your purple pedicure!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! 💜💜💜

@Carl2714 Thank you for sharing such a lovely list AND having a fabulous profile!! Welcome to the site…. anyone joining during Covid still feels like they need a welcome if you ask me😊 And as always... May the Cuddle Gods Be EVER in YOUR Favor!!

In support of your list…. Setting boundaries for ourselves is loving us…. New to me too!!

SunsetSnuggles

@sillysassy Aww! squeak Thank you! 🤭

~ Sunset Snuggles

justjennn

@sillysassy YES to boundaries!! YES YES YES! That feels REALLY significant every day. I'm practicing hard on that, this week, in particular. Navigating relationship changes to pull back some energy and time from places neither are being best utilized for my goals is really hard and needs to be done.

I changed my mind about another business I have had for a few years. It took a huge pressure off of myself when I removed the time constraint I had placed on myself to measure success.

GreatHornedOwl

I used to be a Republican.

DaringSprinter

I used to believe every word of the Bible was literally true.

Just like my parents, who beat me, isolated me, and taught me using garbage fundamentalist programs like Abeka and IBLP, science-denying "science" books written by people like Jay L. Wile... did everything they could to keep me and accurate information separate, essentially. Right down to threats of eternal damnation.

I was raised in an alternate universe, a fantasy world in which accurate information was lies and if I listened, if I considered it, I could be "sent a strong delusion that I might believe a lie," because I didn't love the truth enough.

That's a mind-change that it's still taking me every day to get through.

JohnR1972

@DaringSprinter - I too was raised in a fundamentalist environment but without the type of abuse you had to endure. I wish I had the words to take the lingering pain away but I doubt they even exist. Words can be very powerful and healing but they still have their limitations.

I know this isn’t much but I want you to know that the things you have shared on the forums have impacted me. You and I disagree on a number of issues but thanks to you, I now have a better understanding of your perspective and you have changed my thinking on some issues.

achetocuddle

This is wonderful stuff and I hope none of you ever leave cuddlecomfort. It's hard to find meaningful conversation like this and I am as starved for this as I am touch.

CharlieBear

[stares blankly and then wonders if switching from Heinz to Hunts ketchup counts]

For me, the biggest change in the way I have been thinking has to do with cuddling and touch in general. I am one of the those people that gives those half-assed one-handed barely-touching hugs, only if forced, and even then reserved for only my closest family and friends. I didn’t think about being close with anyone and certainly not touching them. And the thought of cuddling with a stranger? That never entered my brain as anything I would remotely ever do. I didn’t know people even did that. And then I started seeing some TikToks by a couple of pros on here who introduced me to the world of cuddling. For reasons truly unknown to me, I gave it a shot and had a cuddle therapy session. My mind was blown. I immediately realized I had made a massive mistake in my life choices and I needed to fix that immediately. If someone told me that within a month I would have my picture and personal info about myself on a cuddle site to meet strangers to cuddle with…well, that would have sounded absolutely insane to me. Yet here I am ☺️

CrissyKat

Corn dogs.

TheFunCartel

@CrissyKat I concur. The brown outer crust is hiding horrible secrets on the inside. Corn dogs are the upside down of the food world.

achetocuddle

@Charlie_Bear Yay! And you are still young and have a lot of time to enjoy your discovery about yourself. And you are supposed to change from Hunt's to Heinz. Lol.

CharlieBear

@achetocuddle I know right?? I was at my parents celebrating my brothers birthday and I made a comment about why we had hunts and not Heinz, and my mom was like, we are a hunts family and everyone agreed. I was shook. I was like, when did this happen? I have literally never bought hunts in my life, you all are crazy! I have my routines and my preferences and I could not see how I missed this. I bought hunts for my house but it’s just not the same and I am switching back.

achetocuddle

@Charlie_Bear Lol. I really do prefer Heinz. Don't they notice if they eat restaurant fries that Heinz usually comes with it and it tastes better? Lol. Some people prefer sugar to spice. To each their own. And it is funny that you did not notice your family always uses Hunt's. You seem like you could be a detail person. I've had to work on mom to get her to use Bullseye BBQ sauce. It doesn't help that it can be harder to find. I should start a long tedious condiment thread. ha ha
Actually I think an interesting condiment thread may have been done before.

Mine was work related. In 1995 I was working in downtown San Francisco managing a Mergers and Acquisitions team when I was offered a job to start a new division of our company in Chicagoland. Lots of perks that go with relocations and a new adventure. I declined the offer thinking how secure and happy I was being in the Bay Area all my life.
After two sleepness nights I got ip pneumonia morning and totally re-evaluated things.
I convinced myself that this would be a great opportunity to expand my skills and engage in a ground up endeavor. I got energized and called to see if I might be reconsidered. I was fortunate the position was available and I accepted the offer. A really good decision for personal growth and development.

cuddles_ndream

Are they open to new ideas and re-evaluating their existing beliefs from time to time or do they cling to ideas just because that is what they were told / taught as a child and they are not intellectually curious enough to challenge themselves and, in the words of one author I have read, “think again for the first time.” @JohnR1972

Just stumbled on this thread now, I really like it as well as the example about tribalism.

The last significant thing I changed my mind about is what party I’m voting for November 2024

Up until my mid 20’s I was Democrat, simply because that’s what I was born into (not family wise but community wise), mid 20’s I came to the realization that both main parties are in the pockets of lobbyists & special interest … I became a huge fan of Ron Paul (an independent in the guise of Republican) … supported him relentlessly, than later became a huge fan of Bernie sanders as well (an independent in the guise of Democrat) supported him relentlessly as well since Ron Paul took a back seat … I decided to only support grassroots ever since my upper 20’s, none of them ever won … this very last election was the last time I wrote independent / grassroots in (i realizes I’m wasting my time & literally throwing my vote 🗳away, people are too influenced by the media which are owned by the lobbyist or special interest or have a connection with and or affiliation) … I am now choosing the better of 2 evils , the better of the 2 monopolies in this country, & I can’t wait to vote red straight down the line cause this is literally a disaster on both a state level (where I’m from) & as a country. P.s. We literally dropped the ball on 2 people who accepted no favors (Ron & Bernie) and were genuinely for the people (love them both god bless them both 🌌)

achetocuddle

@cuddles_ndream Dude, I would like you the same regardless of who you vote for or if voting and politics did not even interest you, but what I really like about you is how open and free you are online! You refresh me.

GreatHornedOwl

@Charlie_Bear - This is just barely related to the subject, but I'll forever stick with Heinz. Around the beginning of the 20th century, they were the first of the large food processors to discover that they could actually make a profit while producing a clean, safe, unadulterated product, without resorting to some very unsafe preservatives, that have since been banned. They also came out in favor of the establishment of the FDA, while virtually all the rest of the food processing industry was fighting it tooth and nail. That's enough to engender my loyalty.

If anybody's interested, The Poison Squad: One Chemist's Single-Minded Crusade for Food Safety at the Turn of the Twentieth Century by Deborah Blum, Kirsten Potter, et al. is a fascinating read.

cuddles_ndream

@achetocuddle you’re literally one of only a few who truly gets me 🌌 ty for always putting a smile on my face. 🫂

CharlieBear

@GreatHornedOwl I have always bought Heinz because it tastes the best to me. I had no idea about any of the history of these condiment companies, so that is good to know. Maybe I’ll sneakily empty their hunts bottles and put Heinz in them and see if they notice their food suddenly tasting better 😅

achetocuddle

@GreatHornedOwl Glad you wanted to post on this off-topic portion of the thread. I love Deborah Blum and will be reading the book you recommended. I'm glad to know that about Heinz. And that's enough to engender my loyalty also.

22cuddle

@JohnR1972 that's a really, really good question to ask, or rather, to have people to ask of themselves. I'm not yet super comfortable sharing personal stories in the forums here, but I do have something to add which I think is closely related to your second item. And that is that it's very easy and maybe even natural (in the sense that most of us start this way) to interact with others as if they are static. It's easier because then we can put them in boxes we've already prepared in our mind.

But people are anything but static. We are constantly changing. We all go through many great changes of mind, but also, we change our minds in little ways. Little micro changes, multiple times a day. Maybe you have a discussion with someone about a topic, and you leave thinking they felt one way, but as it turns out, something you said led them on a little path that flipped one little switch they hadn't considered. And it turns out the consequences of flipping that little switch dominoed into a more substantial change in their mind. Or perhaps the same thing happened on their own time, just by virtue of their own self-reflection.

This does not happen with people we are very close to in our lives (ideally), as we are able to observe them change over time. But we have wider circles of people in our lives that we have to interact with daily - acquaintances, neighbors, fellow parents at school, and indeed other people on websites like this - who, unless you've got a tremendous amount of extra space in your brain (I uhh, do not), it would be very difficult if not impossible to keep track of each one of their personal stories, their string of changes along the timeline.

So the easiest thing to do is to just straight up consider the person static. If we have some awareness of this problem (problem in the sense of a challenge), then maybe we employ various tricks to approximate or kinda fudge it. Some people, recognizing the challenge, say ok, I'll just keep an archetype in mind which overwhelmingly encompasses as many people as possible - in essence, giving everyone the most abundant benefit of the doubt, if you will - and I'll apply that to everyone. That's rather admirable, but for many (most?) people, with our idiosyncrasies and our insecurities, myself included, it's not really feasible.

I don't have the answers - ever. Of course, right? How could I?? I am constantly reminded and aware of how little I know and understand about the world. We can't be omniscient. But we do know - and by that I mean, we can't really deny that IF we knew everyone we interact with as intimately as say a partner - we would definitely have a better understanding of that person's communications than we are able to without that intimate knowledge. It sucks, it's hard, it's exhausting, but it's right and just to somehow attempt to do something to account for the flux, complexity, and history that are swirling around in each of our utterly ridiculous brains.

TheFunCartel

Speedos. I am for them now. I think at my age if I wore them people would give me a wide berth and I could pretend I am Godzilla coming out of the surf as a result. I love to see the terror in the eyes of the general public.

SunsetSnuggles

...I don't like ketchup.

~ Sunset Snuggles

achetocuddle

@22cuddle I can't wait until you post more good food for thought! I've never thought extremely personal things should be shared in the forum, for everyone's sake. Tho sometimes I am glad when someone does what I would consider oversharing.

MCcuddles2

Government.

Rome was mighty because it had systems. Barbarians did not.

A lack of systems is not a good thing. Chaos will not make life better.