Fun poems

Here is an old one. If you know one please share.

WeLcOmE!!!
*Ladies and JellyBeans: I come before you to sit beside you. To tell you a story I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, at the square corner of the round table, there will be a women's meeting held strictly for men. Admission is free, so pay at the doors. Plenty of seats so sit on the floors. Now to get on with my story.

One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, took out their knives and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came to kill the two dead boys. And if you don't believe my story is true, ask the blind man cause he saw it too.

Anon

SunsetSnuggles

@Btown You're the best! I have heard that one, before. So cute and clever!

I don't know many poems, but this one is quoted in one of my all-time favorite John Wayne movies, El Dorado. 🐎

Eldorado by Edgar Allan Poe

Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old—
This knight so bold—
And o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow—
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be—
This land of Eldorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied—
"If you seek for Eldorado!"

~ Sunset Snuggles

P.S. Okay maybe I failed the assignment; it's not exactly fun, but it sure brings me good memories. 🐴

@SunsetSnuggles I enjoyed your poem. I love that movie also.

GreatHornedOwl

This is a song by Carl Sandburg.

Oh I had a horse and his name was Bill
And when he ran he couldn't stand still
He ran away one day
And also I ran with him

He ran so fast he could not stop
He ran into a barber shop
Fell exhaustionized - with his eye teeth -
In the barber's left shoulder

I had a gal and her name was Daisy
And when she sang the cat went crazy
With deliriums - St. Vituses -
And all kinds of cataleptics

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside out
And jumped into the river
He was so very sleepy

I'm going out in the woods next year
And shoot for beer and not for deer
Well I am, well I ain't
I'm a great sharpshootress

At shooting birds I am a beaut
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eye, in the ear, in the teeth
And in the fingers

I went up in a balloon so big
The people on earth looked like, a pig
Like a mouse, like a caddydid
Like flyses and like fleases

The balloon had turned up with its bottom side high
Fell on the wife of a country squire
She made a noise like a doghound, like a steam whistle
And like dynamite

What, could you do in a case like that
What can you do but stamp on your hat
Or on your mother, on your toothbrush
And on everything that's helpless

Here's Carl himself singing it at the age of 80

@GreatHornedOwl That was a fun read. Thank you. A Father To His Son is one of my favorites of his.

GreatHornedOwl

Ogden Nash was the master of fun poems. He was very prolific, so here are just a few favorites:

"The Pelican"
A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His bill can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But I’m damned if I see how the helican.

'The Cow'
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

"Reflections on Ice-Breaking"
Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

"The Duck"
Behold the duck.
It does not cluck.
A cluck it lacks.
It quacks.
It is specially fond
Of a puddle or pond.
When it dines or sups,
It bottoms ups.

"The Fly"
God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.

"Lines On the Antiquity of Fleas" (The title is much longer than the poem)
Adam
Had'm

"The Pig"
The pig, if I am not mistaken;
Supplies us sausage, ham, and bacon.
Let others say his heart is big—
I call it stupid of the pig.

"A Caution to Everybody"
Consider the auk;
Becoming extinct because he forgot how to fly, and could only walk.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to walk and learned how to fly before he thinked.

"Crossing the Border"
Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendants
Outnumber your friends.

"A Word to Husbands"
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

"A Drink With Something In It"
There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.

"I Didn't Go To Church Today"
I didn't go to church today,
I trust the Lord to understand.
The surf was swirling blue and white,
The children swirling on the sand.
He knows, He knows how brief my stay,
How brief this spell of summer weather,
He knows when I am said and done
We'll have plenty of time together.

"Lines To Be Embroidered On A Bib"
OR
"The Child Is Father Of The Man, But Not For Quite A While"
So Thomas Edison
Never drank his medicine;
So Blackstone and Hoyle
Refused cod-liver oil;
So Sir Thomas Malory
Never heard of a calory;
So the Earl of Lennox
Murdered Rizzio without the aid of vitamins or calisthenox;
So Socrates and Plato
Ate dessert without finishing their potato;
So spinach was too spinachy
For Leonardo da Vinaci;
Well, it's all immaterial,
So eat your nice cereal,
And if you want to name your ration,
First go get a reputation.

SunsetSnuggles

@GreatHornedOwl posted:

""I Didn't Go To Church Today"
I didn't go to church today,
I trust the Lord to understand.
The surf was swirling blue and white,
The children swirling on the sand.
He knows, He knows how brief my stay,
How brief this spell of summer weather,
He knows when I am said and done
We'll have plenty of time together."

This is truly beautiful, and I'm not even a Christian anymore. Thank you for sharing.

~ Sunset Snuggles

Hannie868

Thank you guys for sharing those!

This one always makes me smile and puts things into perspective:

Dust If You Must
by Rose Milligan

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

@Hannie868 That was fun to read. I had not heard of that author. Thank you for joining in.

SunsetSnuggles

@Hannie868 That was really sad, yet beautiful. It reminds me of a plaque that said, "An immaculate house is a sign of a misspent life." I wish my mom would have taken such advice to heart. I hope I can take such advice to heart. OCD is a lying little devil.

~ Sunset Snuggles

justjennn

@CuriousNCaring you need to get in on this goodness!

SunsetSnuggles

It this isn't some of the most incredible "poetry" I've ever experienced, I don't know what is. This man was brilliant.

~ Sunset Snuggles