What is the most powerful emotion / decision?

JohnR1972

Several years ago I heard Stan Lee speak at DragonCon in Atlanta, GA. During the Q&A session following his remarks, he was asked “who would win a fight” between between two Marvel characters. Mr. Lee’s response was “whichever one the illustrator wants to win.”

I want to modify that question and ask, what emotion / decision is the most powerful (which one would win if a person has mixed emotions / thoughts about a person or situation)?

Some emotions are very natural (fear, anger, love, etc.) and many emotions are progressive (in the words of Yoda, “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate…”).

But I asked the question the way I did because of my favorite Winston Churchill quote, “Fear is a reaction, Courage is a decision.”

My personal answer to the question is “Forgiveness” which is more of a decision than an emotion. However, Forgiveness has the ability to calm fears, release anger, and promote healing. What do you think is most powerful and why?

On aggregate, Fear is clearly the primary emotion of the human race.

TheFunCartel

My personal answer to the question is “Forgiveness” which is more of a decision than an emotion. However, Forgiveness has the ability to calm fears, release anger, and promote healing. What do you think is most powerful and why?

Then you really haven’t answered your own question.

quixotic_life

Empathy.

JohnR1972

@FunCartel the question in both the title and 2nd paragraph is “what is the most powerful emotion / decision?” so I am not sure how I failed to answer that question.

TheFunCartel

Oops only saw the emotion part. My bad for skimming. But my answer is you can’t pick one because sooner or later you will always be wrong. Context and situation determine the most powerful emotion/decision. So in my mind it is a is a fool’s mission to assign a superlative to any one decision or emotion.

achetocuddle

I did not know aggregate could be used that way. I love to learn new definitions.
I think I am INTJ, if one goes in for that stuff, and such an atypical person that what would be most powerful for me would not be the norm or the best. I would have to think more about this.

I would say happiness because it has the ability to reduce/eliminate stress, anxiety, and helps promote a healthy lifestyle.

JohnR1972

@GoodRightHook - I agree fear is probably the most frequent and “fastest” emotion. I read a great book a few years ago called “The Science of Fear: How the culture of fear manipulates your brain”. The book was organized into chapters called “the merchants of fear” because the only thing that sells more than sex is fear. Some of the “merchants of fear” included
1) politicians - “if my opponent gets elected…”
2) nightly news - “new danger discovered on playgrounds, details after this commercial break…”
3) entertainment industry
4) alarm companies and insurance companies
Etc.

@Btown - I love your answer. It reminds me of one of the best animated movies ever, Monsters Inc. where they discover at the end that laughter is more powerful than screams 😊

JohnR1972

@achetocuddle - I describe myself as a “recovering INTJ” 😂

I have taken the Meyers Briggs Type Index (MBTI) 3 times over the past 25 years and I scored as an INTJ every time but I have not taken it since going through a major life transformation last year. I suspect I may have shifted to one of the other 15 types.

Grief. If you want to talk about emotional journeys that change you to the core, it's grief.

Soft_Hug84

I think the hardest emotion to deal with is regret. Regret stands in the way of forgiveness, and is one that I haven't solved yet.

Sideon

Willful ignorance.

JohnR1972

@Saysoh @Soft_Hug84 two great answers that I think are sometimes related. Forgiveness can be toward someone else or toward yourself. That sets up a “Super Bowl” level conflict between regret and forgiveness and only one can win. I am still a believer in forgiveness but as @FunCartel said, context and situation play a huge role so there isn’t one answer that is always right.

DaringSprinter

Seconding @Sideon. Willful ignorance is emotion and decision reinforcing one another in the strongest possible way: it just never ends, winning out over anything and everything else.

Best not to get caught in that cycle.

JohnR1972

@Sideon @DaringSprinter I once read “a conclusion is where you decided to stop thinking”. Unfortunately some people don’t seem to even make it to the starting gate before they quit thinking.

One of my favorite YouTubers uses the phrase “people who argue from a conclusion rather than toward a conclusion.”

DaringSprinter

@JohnR1972: I think that second bit describes it well. My father (for instance) has certainly never stopped thinking—but he thinks of ways to not learn new information and never accept what he doesn't want to, rather than evaluating new evidence on its own merits and changing his old ideas so they accord with the facts.

He wants his beliefs and reality to match!

But rather than expanding his knowledge and changing his beliefs to match reality, he chooses to block unwanted knowledge as though he could change reality and make it match his beliefs by arguing that it really isn't what it is.

That takes a lot of mental effort, but his emotions demand it, and so....

achetocuddle

@JohnR1972 LOL.

I know this forum can be read by anyone in the world, not just members; but I have to say the dad of @DaringSprinter kinda reminds me of mine. It can be a tiring task having a convo with my dad, especially now that he is forgetful and we might have to have another similar convo (insert rueful smile emoji here).

HUGGGGGG

Decision: Consistent positive/ good/ better action
About emotion: if you practice patience, then at the right time it may allow you to act with the most powerful/appropriate emotion whichever that may be

Jealousy.

SunsetSnuggles

Wow...great topic. When I was in my teens, I would have said Hate. In my 20's, I would have said Regret. In my 30's, I would say Injustice and Passion.

~ Sunset Snuggles

CuddleDuncan

Tsh tosh, children! ANY emotion is swamped by a full enough bladder.
(And that's also a case where wilfull ignorance is going to land you in trouble quite quickly. 🙄)

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On a serious note, I do see wilful ignorance as a strong candidate. The others all come in a variety of strengths: intense grief or jealously absolutely can change you to the core. Deep fear can define a life, but then so can courage. Wilful ignorance, however, only comes in nuanced flavours of strong

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@Soft_Hug84 consider telling us the regret story. We might be able to help. As @achetocuddle has just demonstrated, stories resonating with people because they've had similar experiences is not rare on this forum.

JohnR1972

So many great responses on this thread, thanks to everyone for sharing!

@Alexjustforu70 - jealousy is definitely a top contender. I think it lays on the emotional family tree somewhere really close to fear and like fear, it can become all consuming like a forest fire.

@SunsetSnuggles - you bring up such a fantastic point about how our most frequent and powerful emotions change over time. As a baby, it tends to be extremes (laughing and crying) but as we mature, our emotions become much more complex and nuanced. Our life experiences definitely play a role, especially when we have transformative experiences such as any form of trauma or we choose to risk opening ourselves up to others. I was in that condition for a long time without even realizing it. It scared me to death to start opening up to others (and I am still very selective about who I open up to on some things) but in general I am much more open today than I was even a year ago.

@HUGGGGGG - YES! Patience allows us the time to see and understand things more fully so we can respond with the most appropriate emotion and/or make the best decision (assuming we didn’t choose to waste that time being willfully ignorant).

@CuddleDuncan - Thank you for the humor. Early in my career I took a class on negotiating and the first lesson the teacher taught us was “never enter into a negotiation situation with a full bladder” 😂

I love your statement “Willful ignorance only comes in nuanced flavors of strong”

TheFunCartel

If you look at the world today I would think if you had to pick one—and I am not of the thought that there is just one because emotions/decisions, like humans, are fickle and temporal—but avarice has to be at the top because those with the most power throughout the globe are driven by it. Why are people interested in a plot of sand full of fleas and scorpions? Because there is black gold. The examples are endless and it dictates how the world works and why everyday people sometimes feel powerless and depressed—why we grasp at what emotion or decision best helps us. Did you know that the US’ top 8 billionaires’ wealth is more than the world’s bottom 31 countries wealth combined? That is avarice. Avarice drives many of the wealthiest to put a sheen of normalcy on this to present to the public as they influence laws, wars, and the very welfare of humans. That is my case for avarice.

Soft_Hug84

@CuddleDuncan I'd be happy to share.

In a previous relationship, I found myself getting bored after 13 years and 2 kids. I created in my mind problems that weren't as severe as I suggested they were. This allowed me to justify leaving and pursuing a new relationship that filled all of the false holes I had created.

Flash forward 15 yrs, the kids are grown, and the ex suffers a severe stroke at the age of 49. While we maintained a friendly relationship for the kids, there was still a lot of bitterness on all sides. Months later, she took a turn, and during her last days reminded me of how she always loved me, regardless of my actions. She took the time to forgive me completely, and made sure that our children knew of it.

Looking back, I see that her love was genuine and I had made an unforgivable error years before. Her forgiveness was the easy part... forgiving myself is the hard part.

I regret my behavior, and that is the strongest emotion I have experienced.

SunsetSnuggles

Wow @Soft_Hug84, thank you so much for sharing. hugs tight

~ Sunset Snuggles

JohnR1972

@Soft_Hug84 - I am speechless. Like Sunset said, thank you for being so open and sharing something so deep and personal. I wish I had better words of advice for dealing with a situation like that. All I can say is it is impossible to change the past, all any of us can do is learn from it and apply those lessons to the future. It probably sounds cliché but beating ourselves up over mistakes of the past does not help. Dwelling on the past can easily turn into the most inescapable prison on earth, the prison of our own mind.

@Soft_Hug84 For you to be able to share that story in this public forum says volumes about who you are today. And we can only be who we are now. I am sending you rays of positivity to be used to forgive yourself for something in the past. You deserve to move forward full of zest and without tarnish. I admire you and wish you the best.

achetocuddle

@Soft_Hug84 Even tho your story reminds me in some ways of my bad ex-husband, I agree with @Btown.

Soft_Hug84

Thank you all so much for your kind words! I try to remind myself that I can't change the past, only work towards a better future. I am a work in progress!

Minestrone101

Desperation is one. Pple use it survive when they are in deep need, and sometimes they climb out and become successful: whether a survival situation, economic, love/relationship, or some other area in life.

The flip side is that emotion can also self-sabotage when not channeled into a constructive way (stealing, lying, cheating, being socially inappropriate, etc.).

The powerful emotion that I like the most is joy: it can completely change the course of your day in a moment or in a short instance- interaction w a loved one or stranger, food, exercise, nature, reading, reflection, etc.