Reserved Intimacy?

SunsetSnuggles

Hey guys! 🙂

As I prepare to dip my toe into the warm waters of cuddling, I'm wondering if any of you reserve anything specific, strictly for your intimate relationships? Kissing and sexuality of any kind is a given. But is there anything you won't do with your fellow cuddlers, because you want it to stay special for your relationship (whether you're currently in one, or may have one in the future)?

Maybe holding hands as you walk, or tucking your nose into their neck, or falling asleep with them? Just curious, as I was discussing this with my boyfriend, and it's an intriguing subject.

Thanks, peeps! 🤗

~ Sunset Snuggles

IsMeArrggh

Well no, other than what you already mentioned. I’m here mainly because my spouse does not desire nor do the other cuddle activities like holding hands, spooning, or being affectionate. So this is my fix. ☺️

UCpaaHVg6u0

@SunsetSnuggles I'm wondering why you would bring up the issue of cuddling with a romantic partner in a forum that specifically is built around platonic cuddling?

SunsetSnuggles

@UCpaaHVg6u0 I think you may have misunderstood; I'm asking about saving things for a romantic relationship, by reserving them from your platonic cuddlers. I want to know if people here see no boundary (other than the obvious sexual and kissing), between cuddlers and romantic partners, or if they keep some things in reserve for their romantic relationships. Basically, I'm about to start cuddling platonically here, soon, and I'm contemplating if I should have some boundaries above and beyond the Terms of Service, so that some things remain special for my boyfriend.

~ Sunset Snuggles

UCpaaHVg6u0

Still sounds like the topic is about what things you do special with your romantic partner. I don't care. I asked you why you would make that a topic here, and I still don't know. I don't see what your question has to do with platonic cuddling. Sorry to be disagreeable, but it's an honest question.

SunsetSnuggles

@UCpaaHVg6u0 Let me phrase it this way for you: Is there anything you won't do with a platonic cuddler, besides the obvious (no sexuality, no kissing)?

~ Sunset Snuggles

TheFunCartel

It is a strange topic and seems to be one that should be discussed between you and your romantic partner if that is a concern. No one knows how your BF feels about it but you and your boyfriend. Otherwise it is highly suggestive on a site for platonic cuddling and is also fishing for people to reveal deep feelings and conversations others have with their partners. Hell, I wouldn’t reveal details of a platonic cuddle with a romantic partner let alone other stuff. No one else’s business. I think it could have been worded much better.

SunsetSnuggles

@FunCartel

I'm asking for people to share their experience and opinions, which is what this board is designed for.

There is nothing suggestive in my question, as sexuality was explicitly already mentioned as being off-limits.

You certainly don't have to reveal anything deep if you aren't comfortable. But as this message board consistently shows, many people are happy to share their experiences. Maybe they won't on this topic, and that's perfectly fine. Everyone is free to answer or not.

~ Sunset Snuggles

TheFunCartel

@SunsetSnuggles We will agree to disagree. You walked a line and I think you know it, but carry on. I merely pointed out this could have been worded much better as someone else pointed out as well. The title itself is sensationalistic and suggests something other than platonic cuddling.

SunsetSnuggles

@FunCartel I don't consider wondering if people hold hands to be walking any line.

~ Sunset Snuggles

@SunsetSnuggles I totally understand your question and I think it clearly distinguishes activity with a romantic partner as opposed to activity within a platonic cuddle.
Yes. there are things that romantic couples do that they won't/shouldn't do within a platonic cuddle. I am not sure how many would be willing to share that information.

SunsetSnuggles

@FunCartel

Intimacy is defined as "close familiarity or friendship; closeness". The title does not suggest anything beyond platonic. There is emotional intimacy, physical intimacy...it is not anyone's responsibility but your own if your mind jumped to sexual intimacy, despite my repeating in every message that sexuality is clearly off-limits.

~ Sunset Snuggles

@SunsetSnuggles I agree with @FunCartel—Your question should be posed to your romantic partner, not necessarily a forum of individuals who are completely unrelated to your relationship. Every relationship dynamic is different and what one person does with their client may not be in alignment with what another person feels is acceptable. It’s not about reserving one thing for your relationship and another for your clients. This question should be posed for your boyfriend and not us IMO

TheFunCartel

@SunsetSnuggles you are practicing willful ignorance now. I am referring to the title. If you had not written it yourself and you saw the title “reserved intimacy” what would you be thinking of it on a platonic board?

But I guess you deflect it to everyone else’s imagination when you are questioned. Even though your first sentence in you write about intimate relationships. I pity your bf.

SammyG_

Respectfully, isn’t this something that should be discussed with one’s partner, rather than polling strangers on the internet?

SunsetSnuggles

@Mama_Ang As my original message mentioned, this question was spawned directly by talking to my boyfriend about it. We discuss these topics nearly every day. One can still appreciate getting others' experiences and suggestions.

@Btown Thank you.

~ Sunset Snuggles

SunsetSnuggles

@SammyG_ See above to Mama_Ang.

@FunCartel You seem incapable of having a disagreement without resorting to hatefulness.

~ Sunset Snuggles

TheFunCartel

Retracted

TheFunCartel

@SammyG_ and @Mama_Ang 💯

TheFunCartel

@SunsetSnuggles I do apologize for what I said about your bf. That was uncalled for but I stand by everything else.

SammyG_

Just curious, if you already discussed with the bf, why is this still an open issue? Are you going to tell him, “hey, some strangers from the web say it’s ok to bury my nose in my platonic cuddler’s neck, even though you prefer I don’t do that so I’m gonna do it anyway because the nice ppl in cyberspace say it’s fine, ok bae”?
No ill will intended here, but it just seems like an odd approach.

SunsetSnuggles

@FunCartel Thank you. Unfortunately, retracting hatefulness on this occasion does not change the behavior I have seen from you consistently ever since I joined this board two and a half months ago. You seem to seek out fights and always turn it personal and vindictive, name-calling others and making disparaging remarks. I have been carefully avoiding you in all of those many instances, but because you have finally turned it toward me, I am going ahead and blocking you. Obviously we will still see each other around the boards, but as you did not want to share personal information on this thread, so I do not want my personal information shared with you. I have never blocked anyone before, but you have pushed me too far. I'm sure this makes me much more sad than it makes you.

~ Sunset Snuggles

SunsetSnuggles

@SammyG_ No ill will taken. It is an ongoing discussion, with my boyfriend. I would absolutely honor any boundaries he requested. He has already given free consent to me cuddling other people. I haven't begun cuddling yet, because I'm still making up my own mind. My mind flows most freely when I can bounce ideas off of other people, hear their experiences, and consider the big picture. But you're absolutely right, if my boyfriend had any boundaries, they would be honored and I wouldn't be asking, here. It's because he and I are both open, that I was curious what others' experiences and thoughts were. This community is amazing and always gives me something to think about, and there are people here who have been cuddling for years and have a lot of perspective that I would love to hear from.

~ Sunset Snuggles

@SammyG_ I don't see it as as odd approach at all. There are numerous topics discussed between significant others yet those topics have been appearing in these forums for years. The OP who is new to this site was merely attempting to do due diligence before she began cuddling. I find it hard to believe that people could not see how she clearly differentiated romantic partner and platonic cuddling. Then there are the usual suspects who merely want to overpower people with their opinion.

TheFunCartel

There is a response my 10 and 12 year Olds come up with.

SunsetSnuggles

@Btown posted: "was merely attempting to do due diligence before she began cuddling."
Exactly. This board is used for benefitting from the advice of others with more experience. That was my hope for this thread.

@FunCartel Thank you for hammering your level of maturity in deep with that GIF.

~ Sunset Snuggles

blisscuddles

Sure is unfortunate that there is this mob mentality to go after someone posing a question especially as they are looking to have their first cuddle. Kindness and empathy goes a long way.

TheFunCartel

@Btown Kind of like the baiting you are engaging in?

TheFunCartel

@SunsetSnuggles Now you are baiting

Sideon

Stop. The reports are flying. My patience and tolerance level is zero.

@FunCartel - you know better. "I pity your bf" is a personal attack. Don't be a hypocrite and do what you don't like yourself. Please do not further engage with @SunsetSnuggles .

@SunsetSnuggles - while I am glad you're open and clearly communicate and emphasize the platonic focus on your question, I'm concerned that this is parsing so close to what is private and "intimate" between two individuals. I question the validity in keeping this thread open. If this devolves into any more additional flags, I will shut it down.