Dark Humor or Sarcasm Anyone?

Minestrone101Minestrone101
edited June 2022 in General

Anyone have some dark or sarcastic jokes that you care to share?

Folks, if you're not interested, then move to another thread. You have every right to be offended; you also have every right to not read that which you know is going to trigger you. Know that us mods are not babysitting this thread. [-Sid]

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Comments

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Yup:

    A wife and husband were in the hospital. Wife was giving birth. She was feeling a lot of pain. The doctor said “I have a pill that takes 25% of the pain from the mother and transfers it to the father”. The husband said “hell yea, give me one”
    He had one pill and started laughing. “Give me another. I’m not feeling anything”. Doctor gave him another pill. Husband said “I still don’t feel anything. Give me another”. Doctor gave him a third pill. Wife is feeling almost no pain now and the hubby is saying “you women are a bunch of wusses. Complaining about the pain of birth” he ends up taking the last pill. Wife is having a painless birth, happy as can be.

    After all is said and done, the hubby and wife are bringing home their new born baby. When they got to their house, the mailman was dead on the doorstep.

  • [Deleted User]Viy011 (deleted user)

    This was hilarious!

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    @Sheena123 Drum cymbal!

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    @Sheena123 That made me laugh. Thanks

  • BabichevBabichev

    OMG, that was hilarious!

    An old Ollie and Lena joke (and old Norwegian-American couple):

    Ollie is in bed, terminally ill and dying. Lena is wondering what to do and thinks to herself well, after Ollie passes people will be coming over. I should make some soup to serve them. So she starts a big pot of chicken soup. Ollie, from his bed, can smell the soup cooking. “Lena!” he calls, weakly. She goes to his bedside and asks him, “What is it, Ollie?” Barely able to speak, Ollie manages to get out the words, “Soup . . . Soup.” “Oh, no, Ollie,” Lena tells him. “That’s for later, for the company.”

    Did you hear that Ollie and Lena died? Yeah, they went to the drive-in theater to see the movie “Closed For The Winter.”

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    @Sheena123 Love it! Lol

    @Babichev Call me dense! This is the joke flying over my head lol.

  • Maverick07Maverick07

    10 year picture challenge

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    @Maverick07 Oo...I'd call that dark, but she's quite fair! :)

  • HumbleBaronHumbleBaron

    What do you call a wooden boomerang that doesnt come back….?

    A stick

  • munkgmunkg

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited June 2022

    @Eduardobel lol. What do you call a human boomerang that doesn't return?

    An ex! Lol

  • Maverick07Maverick07

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl
    edited June 2022

    After hearing his wife wishing for the fiftieth time that sh had bigger breasts the husband told her "I know how you can make your breasts get much bigger. All you need to do is to wad up some toilet paper, and rub each breast with it, 2 or 3 times a day."
    "Will that really work?" she asked.
    "Sure it will. Look what it did for your butt."
    History has not recorded how much longer the man survived.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    @GreatHornedOwl

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    My mom died because I couldn't remember her blood type.

    She kept saying "be positive," but it’s going to be hard when she’s not around.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I've liked all of this so much, but that IS dark @Daringsprinter. LOL.

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    This is all so very tacky. I may be getting on a giggle roll :)

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @achetocuddle: I've got more where that came from! Try this one on for size.

    One year I had been a naughty child, and Santa left me a piece of coal. So next year I poisoned his cookies. But the sneaky bastard found out and killed my dad!

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life





  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

  • HumbleBaronHumbleBaron

  • HumbleBaronHumbleBaron

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    Guys,
    If your dark humor mocks the disabled, maybe don’t share it.
    🙈

  • HumbleBaronHumbleBaron

  • HumbleBaronHumbleBaron

  • Mike403Mike403

    I have Asperger's and I still find this scene from South Park to be hilarious:

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @Mike403 that's because it is! =)

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    Funny stuff on here. Thanks everyone.
    BTW disabled people have a sense if humor too.

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