Would you prefer a professional Cuddler to have a life coaching certificate?

ExoticLotus

When choosing a professional Cuddler, does qualifications add value to your decision? If she/he is holding a life coach certificate. I am asking since cuddling is all about connecting, bonding and relaxing, don’t we all need to talk to someone who’s understanding and supportive?
I need your feedback, since I am considering studying life coaching… much appreciated 🥰🤗

herby357

@bigbeauty Great question.

I cuddle to heal myself through the nurturing energy exchange between my partner and myself, not so much the verbal exchange. Therefore, I'm always on the lookout for someone with a medical (i.e., caregiver, skilled nursing aid, nurse, physical therapist, etc.) or holistic healing (e.g., therapeutic massage) background. They seem to be more intuitive in that regard.

waynewv

No, I would rather see good Krama.

CuddleDuncan

In my experience any kind of caring background is helpful, whether that's a previous career, qualification or whatever.

However, nothing beats a Cuddling qualification. There are several out there.

Having said that, I would guess that a life coaching certificate, highlighted on your profile, would make only a small difference to they number of enquiries you receive. It may have even reduce the number slightly because it may be offputting to the more pointless or frivolous enquirers. I suspect that the difference would come in the proportion of repeat clients: your new skills would make you more worth coming back to.

AnthonyM757

Not really, no

pmvines

I am personally usually really skeptical any time I see a cuddler use terms like healer, therapist, problem fixer , etc . I get concerned about unrealistic and false expectations being placed on cuddling, and how that will impact someone who might be seeking something more from it than what is practical, and foregoing seeking appropriate interventions/help. I get concerned about it being reduced to snake oil .

I say all this to not discourage anybody from seeking out these certifications if it provides you with extra tools , nothing at all wrong with that. Learning is learning. However I would caution against touting yourself as being a somehow enhanced cuddler who is capable of providing additional things, and would also caution potential clients to not seek out cuddling as a catch all fix to your problems , or to he healed from anything that causes any sort of significant impact to your life .

ExoticLotus

@herby357
Agree, since I have been actively practicing meditation, currently studying reiki healing, I understand why holistic living affect cuddling..

@waynewv
Agree as well coz nothing beats word of mouth.

@CuddleDuncan
Let me paraphrase, your opinion is it’s not worth it but indirectly can affect me personally, thus I can connect more and have repeated clients? Did I get it right?

@AnthonyM757
So what is your criteria when choosing a Cuddler?

Thank you guys so much, your feedback is really appreciated 🥰🤗

ExoticLotus

@CuddleDuncan
I got the trainings available for cuddlers through different providers, got listed on different online platforms, frankly the idea of “life coaching”, was suggested by few of my clients! And hence it was repeated, I am currently seriously considering to do so.

CuddleDuncan

@bigbeauty I'm so sorry, I have not been clear.

Doing a life coaching course can't possibly do any harm to your cuddling career, and it may well do some good. In my opinion I don't think it will make much difference to the number of bookings you get. It might help a little. (As far as I can tell, in no particular order the key drivers of professional selection by clients are: log-in frequency, cost, location, age, karma, quality of sales copy, unconscious response to photos, and looks. I would guess that specific technical factors (smoking, 420-friendly, etc) would come next. Qualifications don't affect any of these.)

I have no idea how your cuddling practice works, obviously. However, in general there are a large number of clients who will book a particular professional once, have a perfectly good time, but never return. Depending on the approach and skills you have now, and the things you learn while doing such a course, it may mean that you can offer clients a deeper experience in some way, which will make them more likely to return.

You could ask the clients who mentioned it whether they thought it would help your cuddling, or whether they thought it was something that you might do separately in addition to cuddling.

For what it's worth, if you're seriously considering it I would say do it. Where's the downside to having an extra qualification? I can't think of one.

ExoticLotus

@pmvines
I like this point you highlighted. Cuddling is for cuddling full stop. No one should promote himself as extras! Healer, life coach, therapist…no expectation should be set but cuddling, bottom line.
Expectations in any kind of connection, only cause hardship and struggle sooner or later. This is a very VALID and important point. Thank you 🙏🏻

ExoticLotus

@CuddleDuncan
Thank you so much, now very clear 🤗🤗
Appreciate your realistic and true opinion. My respects

CuddleDuncan

@bigbeauty thank you, happy to help!

I also liked @pmvines's point.

JohnR1972

@bigbeauty - I have enjoyed cuddles with some cuddle partners were “just” comfort and relaxation. I put “just” in quotes because I am a very high energy person and while my demeanor is laid back, I have a very hard time shutting down my mind and truly relaxing. I really value my time with cuddle partners who help me relax and unwind.

I have also had a few cuddle partners who I have connected with at a very deep level who have helped me immensely on a personal / emotional level. I also really value the time with those cuddle partners.

So to answer your question, I would agree with @CuddleDuncan that the certification can’t hurt but I do not know that it would automatically increase your business. It may however attract more cuddle partners who are more likely to become repeat partners.

CuddleWho

I would consider this a negative sign. I don't want a cuddle session to be any kind of therapy or too formal.

WriterGF

I wouldn't ask for or require that. If I want life coaching or therapy, I can find someone to do that. Not looking for it from a cuddle sessiom.

Babichev

If a pro cuddler has taken cuddler training, that could be an advantage, but self-described life coaches, amateur counselors, or anyone who describes themselves as any type of healer are red flags to me and I run in the other direction. I’m looking for cuddling. If I want counseling I’ll seek out those services from someone qualified to provide them.

ExoticLotus

Thank you so much for your feedback, truly valued and well noted 🙏🏻🤗🥰 @Babichev @WriterGF @CuddleWho @JohnR1972

Minestrone101

At this time, I've hired a life coach since the pandemic and a pro cuddler. Both do diff kinds of work. I feel life coaching is super rewarding and the pay is good, but I'm sure it might be hard to find new clients. Don't see why you can't do both.

PeopleLikeUs

Being a life coach brings with it a lot of flexibility in what you can and can't do. In fact, I know a licensed psychologist that is considering becoming a life coach instead for those reasons. But I have one big question for you. We all know what transference is. Would you really want that happening within the context of a cuddle, especially in your own physical space? I would go after relatively normal, mentally sound people to cuddle, not people looking for mental health or life coach professionals. If I were a life coach I would not cuddle a client. However, I'm cuddling a psychologist LOL.

ubergigglefritz

I just want to add some thoughts to this conversation. I think it can be hugely beneficial to have ANY related training to doing this work. Specifically psychology and coaching. Not because those services are to be given alongside a cuddling session (as a lot of comments seem to be commenting on not wanting), but because it gives you additional knowledge and skills on communicating with people in a non-harming and productive way. I have heard stories of professional cuddlers speaking or behaving in a way that actually can harm their clients, and I consider it a huge responsibility in this space to avoid that. My education in psychology, experience with trauma healing, cuddling education, and other mental health training, has been immensely helpful in guiding how I approach different situations.

Two lesser known classes I found very helpful were mental health first aid and ASIST (applied suicide intervention skills training). I definitely need to try to do a refresher in ASIST in the nearish future. It's a lot of very important information, so I think it's going to take a few times through to really ingrain it all into my brain. To be fully transparent, the time I called the suicide hotline in my past, I actually recognized everything the person did as the exact process they teach in ASIST, which was pretty cool to identify what I had learned and to see how it impacted me when I was feeling down. 💜

Minestrone101

Agree w everyone here and def didn't mean to do both in the same session. But I enjoy the work I get from each type of professional.

Babichev

@ubergigglefritz and @PeopleLikeUs - Agree that the training is useful. Mixing it with cuddling is fraught with potential problems. I think it would be useful for ALL pro cuddlers to become familiar with basic psychology, not that they would counsel clients but so they can recognize potential problems and avoid stepping into messy situations like transference and countertransference, also urge people to get appropriate help when it appears they need it. Having a list of providers of various services would be a good idea.

Mixing other services with cuddling presents a potential conflict of interest. I’ve already seen, and have had to warn, pros who offer services outside of cuddling who use this site to promote their other services. When people are cuddling they are in a vulnerable position. Trying to influence them to sign up for life coaching or other services, even if it’s just making it known that one offers them, when their guard is down is not acting in the best interest of the client.

A problem with “life coaches” is that there are no requirements. Anyone can call themselves a life coach and certification is meaningless. In some instances it means they were “certified” by an MLM and what they are doing is selling products under the guise of being a life coach. Someone who has qualifications as, say, a clinical psychologist is required by their state licensing and professional ethics to keep that practice and anything they do outside of it separate. My personal experience - not in hiring them but just social interaction - is that many have an overblown sense of their qualifications and abilities which is what has made me extremely wary of them. One I knew was giving people potentially dangerous advice, was grossly ignorant about basic human physiology yet advising people on nutrition, and when evidence was presented to him about why his advice was dangerous, was completely resistant to expanding his knowledge beyond what his organization taught him. Sadly, I’ve encountered this repeatedly which is why I run in the other direction. Most of the folks I’ve encountered who call themselves life coaches want to be in a position to counsel people but don’t want to do the work of getting real qualifications as a counselor, registered dietician, etc. There’s no defined scope of practice for life coaches and that leaves them open to thinking they can do whatever they want.

I do think there can be a place for someone who is helping people to make a plan in their life to achieve goals that don’t require psychotherapy and/or to provide support so that a person can stay on track with their steps towards those goals. Unfortunately, without any standards in place it’s hard to know if someone is really qualified to do that or just trying to make a buck without putting much effort into it.

ExoticLotus

I agree with @Babichev, the first question that came to my mind about life coaching, is there a license or state exam to pass in order to become one? The answer was awkward, in California you don’t actually need a proper license to be a life coach. Though it might be tempting, yet being accountable, I would not put myself in a situation that I am not sure how positive/negative I can affect or influence someone’s life. Though again, I still agree that an extra study would help me personally to understand more, about myself and connecting with others. Without the use of the name or branding of being a life coach. I would never ask a client to signup or offer any other service not listed on the website. It was a probing question as for the necessity or added value to myself.