Common pro-platonic graphic for photo set

CuddleDuncan

Here's a thought.

What if there was a nice graphic saying something like "platonic cuddling = non-sexual" which everybody who wanted to could put in their photo set?

Many of the annoying clients do not read profiles. But they do look at photos. Such a graphic won't stop all of them, but it might stop or at least slow down some.

The repetition of finding it on many people's profiles would reinforce the message.

Just a thought. What do you think?

Rezz

I like it. But I also like catching and reporting the dumbasses who proposition me for more. 😈

achetocuddle

@Rezz Lol. It can be very satisfying to report someone who so deserves it. I also like this idea tho.

MorganMont81

I like that idea too.

Rezz

@achetocuddle It feels good when someone slithers into my messages thinking they found easy prey, only to be met with a block and report. Mwhahaha

achetocuddle

@Rezz exactly! When they have incidentally insulted my intelligence to boot, it feels extra good! I wish all the women here understood what I can tell you do. There would be less women getting hurt and traumatized. I worry about a few of them.

CaringSoul

I like that idea.

CuddleDuncan

So, something a bit like this but ... you know .... good.

If anybody could use that as a starting point, and make the real one, that would be brilliant.

I've added it to my profile temporarily so you can see how it looks in-situ.

Mike403

After being on YouTube for awhile, I discovered that there are a lot of people who would try it with a child. There are many channels popping up that specialize in catching and exposing predators. They can't get it from an adult so they go after those who can't consent. It's sickening.

@Mike403 Oh, that's a whole disturbing thing. I've been watching a channel that exposes family vlogger channels and they posted a video showing what I believe was the YouTube creator app that analyzes statistics of viewers by sex, age range, and the sections of videos that get peak viewership, they can see exactly which parts of a video people"rewind" and rewatch. It was disturbing. These family vloggers make more money, the more their kids are shown in the videos and dependent on what they show, like kid's chest, feet, kids eating. And it's almost like the parents who heavily feature their kids know this and are putting their kids out there purposefully. It's pretty gross.

ubergigglefritz

@CuddleDuncan needs to be simpler and straight to the point. The people you're talking about aren't going to read that. 😉

Even just a simple "platonic and non-sexual cuddler" badge or something. 🤷‍♀️

CuddleWho

If you wouldn't do it with a child...

I've always found this a very strange way to put it. I'm not going to spoon a child, but I spoon cuddlers all the time.

CuddleDuncan

@Cuddlewho really? I've spooned children although now I come to think of it it's mostly younger children or babies.

I do agree with your fundamental point that it's not an ideal way of expressing the point. I only made that in the hope of inspiring somebody to do a real one.

@ubergigglefritz yeah .... sometimes I wonder how many of them can read at all, beyond the most basic level.

ubergigglefritz

I find a better phrase is "if a child walked in, you wouldn't need to change anything you're doing". 😇

Mike403

If a child walked in, I'm leaving. I hate kids.

Sheena123

@Mike403 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Babichev

This would be too long for the graphic but I once heard a great rule of thumb for discerning whether what you were saying or doing would be harassment. The context was for men in relating to women but one could switch it around.

1) Would you say/do this to your spouse, your partner, your mom, your daughter, or any other woman you cared about?
2) Would you want someone else to say/do this to your spouse, your partner, your mom, your daughter, or any other woman you cared about?
3) If what you say/do were on the evening news tomorrow, would you be embarrassed by it?

It seems a shame that on a site devoted to platonic cuddling we feel the need to find a way to broadcast that yes, I really am here for strictly platonic cuddling.

ubergigglefritz

@Babichev "It seems a shame that on a site devoted to platonic cuddling we feel the need to find a way to broadcast that yes, I really am here for strictly platonic cuddling."

It does. At the same time, the presence of people here for other reasons is essentially inevitable. Is it better to both try to curb/catch violators AND accept that they are here so to try to passively identify people who are here for each reason? Or is it better to continue to pretend that everyone on the site and not caught are here for the intended use for the site? 🤔🤷‍♀️

There seems to be a lot of contradiction on this site and I'm not sure most of the women in this conversation qualify. So please know, I am NOT talking about most of you here.

I am talking about the kind of photos I see as a man looking legitimately for platonic therapeutic cuddling (for a number of issues including PTSD, panic disorder and myasthenia gravis all I was recently diagnosed with) that 100% do NOT send the message that they are "just offering platonic cuddle therapy". Not at all. And I think that makes it harder on you women who actually ARE offering what I came here looking for. Not only that, there are some strange things here like, why do I need to see more than a headshot of a person that is offering a platonic cuddle therapy session? Why would I be concerned with your body type AT ALL if I am legitimately looking for platonic cuddle therapy? And additionally, why does the site itself offer body type as a search item in the first place? Platonic cuddle therapy is supposed to be a sort of extension of talk psychotherapy or counseling. It truly does provide therapeutic results and it is backed by science. So why do I care what you look like then? Why do I need to know if you are single or in a relationship then? Is this a dating site or a therapeutic offering site? Guides? Overnights??? Oh and you can search whether they also offer massage too. That one is not so bad actually. But the others wreak of self-contradiction.

And who is traveling to cuddle with people? Again, imagine a traveling mental health counselor. Imagine a mental health counselor listing their hobbies, favorite foods, whether they are single or not, and oh yeah also had photos that include zeroed in on cleavage, sexy short skirts and heels next their beds, seductive selfies that bare zero resemblance to what a platonic cuddle therapist would advertise with and so on and so forth? Who would take them seriously as a legitimate counselor? I literally see photos of girls in the shower in a bikini downward angle to show whole body or laying on the beach in a skimpy bikini posing seductively. Oh their written descriptions "say all the right things", but I mean, come on. If I can admit that in a perfect utopian world you should be able to pose nude in your photos and not have it be assumed that you are offering more, can you admit that these photos are either bait and switch or legitimate "wink wink can't say it because of the rules, but I am down for more" and again bare zero resemblance to what a serious and legitimate cuddle therapist would use and they simply make your problem worse? Because guys are horny dogs. That is gonna be there no matter what. This isn't a perfect utopia. There isn't one. So both parties could do diligence and stop treating this like a dating site or an escort site and actually use it for the mental health therapeutic service that was intended to be.

Like I said, most of you are using pictures that a guy like me would see that signal "serious cuddle therapist here". So congrats for practicing what you preach and leading by example. I WISH you were in my area! I don't know if an employee or rep from the site reads this, but truly consider revamping the site to make it look more like a site where therapists advertise therapeutic services. No they don't need a license at this moment if they do it that way because cuddle therapy isn't currently regulated like that and this anarchist believes it needs to stay that way too.

So you can make a graphic like proposed, but if your photos send a different message or hey let's be super honest for second and just say "if you are using anything beyond a head shot" you might want to ask yourself those same tough questions you want the guys to answer. "Why do prospective PATIENTS need to see my body or know my hobbies or relationship status and what kind of platonic cuddle therapy involves overnight visits in bed with your patient? Or going on dates holding hands in public?" If this is legitimate therapy, this site and some of it's members have a funny way of showing it. The site is doing all of us who are here legitimately a major disservice and a major disservice to legitimate therapeutic cuddling as an extension of the mental health counseling discipline.

ubergigglefritz

@cuddleholic71 You are absolutely correct on the photos front (imo). This is an often discussed and defended subject. To continue...

There is a wide spectrum of professional cuddlers, ranging from the ones who offer sexual services (shouldn't be here), to ones who offer a legitimate but disconnected service (poor service, but won't be banned), to ones who offer a legitimate and authentic but social service, to ones who offer a legitimate and authentic and therapeutic service, to ones who offer purely therapeutic but disconnected service, to any combination of those or others I didn't even list.

There is a wide spectrum of people seeking professional cuddlers, ranging from those seeking sexual services (shouldn't be here), to those seeking sensual services almost sexual but not enough to be within the TOS, to those seeking social services which are more therapeutic than you would think, to those seeking purely therapeutic services, to those seeking any combination of those or others I didn't even list.

Because of this wide spectrum of offerings and needs, and the very limited number of professionals in almost all of those categories, it is VERY difficult for most people to locate a professional close to them. Thus, it is actually very normal for people to travel some distance for a cuddler they feel is a good fit for them and their needs.

For you, this service is purely therapeutic, which is amazing and I love the opportunity to work with people seeking that level of service. For most, there is a social aspect. They aren't or don't wish to be in a relationship, but the platonic touch and connection need is still there (or they are in a mismatched relationship, and seeking this service is a healthy and safe way to get those needs met so they can feel more fulfilled in their relationship). I believe most people don't get these needs met from family and friends (those who do are really lucky) and since it is a real biological human need to feel connected and experience physical touch, that's where this service is needed. I can explain further if requested the HUGE list of benefits to seeking this service for just meeting basic needs...

For people seeking that level of service, that is where overnights can be an extension of that battery charge (I'm not sure what guides you're referring to are). Especially in my situation, because almost all people who see me travel to me from a distance, an overnight is a way to maximize the benefit for the drive. Similar with the public social time. I don't personally offer public cuddles, but my sessions do occasionally extend to the public purely for more connection time. All cuddling takes place at home.

So I completely agree with you on the picture front, but that's not going to change anytime soon HERE. There are other sites available which may be more in line with what you are seeking. Cuddle Comfort is the top site in the category of sites that seem kind of in the gray area, but it's still in that category at least somewhat. You come with purely therapeutic needs, which is just one part of the potential benefits to cuddling, just understand that there are other people here with legitimate platonic needs that may just look a little differently than yours, and that is completely ok, as long as it's not sexual.

*Also note that my observation is that most people, even if they think they're here purely for social needs and they like cuddling, actually do have therapeutic needs as well. There are so many affects a lack of connection and touch can have on us, which we don't even realize because we don't teach people the symptoms of having a lack of these in our lives, that adding them into our lives have therapeutic effects that people couldn't have ever predicted.

@ubergigglefritz I totally get all of that and agree. Thanks for the explanation. I think the site still needs to be revamped and categorized to separate the different kinds and so lists could contain people in multiple categories. And hey, like you say, maybe even I am mismatched in a relationship perhaps or just dumb luck my GF can't cuddle for long or can't do certain recreational activities for no fault of her own. Do you end the relationship of 7 years? Or find a safe, platonic, legitimate outlet that also has all of these amazing therapeutic benefits backed by science that can help my medical issues I listed too?

And for the record? I am not shaming in any way those who ARE offering or looking for voluntary, consensual, transactional, sexual activities not involving human sex trafficking. If our society took the stick out of its butt and allowed for a legal AND socially acceptable outlet for those desired services, then the people sneaking here to offer or receive them wouldn't be here because a safe and legal and socially acceptable alternative would be available. But I digress. :-)

So I am down with what all of you legit providers are looking to provide and agree with your concerns. It just doesn't help that this site and many members on it present like a dating site and less of a therapeutic site with a whole bevvy of different but as you showed, related services. It should present like that. So those wanting what they want can find it without judgment or people bothering those who don't provide them because some who do pretend they don't but actually do and the men just start asking everyone and assuming the wink wink nudge nudge phenomenon.

Edit: I just realized I was combining two cuddle sites search parameters. I mean technically the point still stands if this is legit cuddle therapy then why does body type come into play at all? Or full body pictures? But I was wrong about the search here and wanted to correct that. Everything else I stand by. It is confusing and blurs lines and is easily fixed by sectioning it off so people know where and who on the site to get what they want.

CuddleDuncan

@cuddleholic71 a couple of other points which may give a little more clarity.

Your point about the seductive photos is quite right, as @ubergigglefritz says. However, there may be a generational point here. I work with teenagers, and what you and I might regard as a somewhat sexualised picture they often regard as just a picture. Yes, you can argue that their world is so sexualised they don't even notice it. But the point is that what one person may see as sexualised another person may not.

It is also the case that many professionals offer companionship as a secondary service (which they are permitted to do). It is the case further that there are many clients who are really looking for what you might call touch-based companionship. Perhaps a walk in the park holding hands, with a lingering hug at the end. In a situation like this looks do come into play, like it or not.

For more serious cuddling, body shape is a factor for some people. Some prefer to cuddle stick insects, others prefer to cuddle those built for comfort rather than speed. It's a legitimate, if ultimately self-defeating, preference.

In any case, it is desirable if not essential to create a strong rapport between professional and client. Shared interests are not essential for that, but they can be, and they also provide a useful starting point.

@CuddleDuncan I agree completely. And someone else pointed out the age thing to me too. I think it still blurs lines for guys. Maybe we should be more sophisticated than that. Fair enough. I just feel for the people getting pressured and the people pressuring because they are both right, they just aren't compatible and there should be a safe outlet for both needs. I am learning a lot here though and I really appreciate the feedback and information. I think I too could benefit from a platonic social outlet for things I like that my gf doesn't that she's happy to have me go do with someone else as long as platonic. I just don't know anyone. Especially after 2020 being isolated. So this being a legit platonic outlet is really perfect for me I think. I may have to dig for the more psychotherapeutic care and trauma healing but they are on here too. I saw some energy healers on here in my area too. Reiki. I am into all of it. Conventional medicine and I do not get along. lol I trust the eastern, holistic, plant based, energy based healing stuff way more. Acupuncture, Chinese Herbal Medicine and of course my medical cannabis that is all I really have right now and it is a savior for me. This is an interesting little pocket of the internet for sure. Nice to see people thinking outside the box for healing and therapy.

CuddleWho

@cuddleholic71

Why would I be concerned with your body type AT ALL

Body type actually makes a big difference in the cuddle. Whether someone is tall or short, fat or thin, whatever, it's a different experience, and people may have different preferences.

Platonic cuddle therapy is supposed to be a sort of extension of talk psychotherapy or counseling

No it isn't. You probably shouldn't use the phrase "cuddle therapy"; what you get on this site is not therapy. It's meeting someone and cuddling with them. Hardly anyone on this site has any qualifications to make them any kind of therapist. It's definitely possible to have a healing experience of some sort with a cuddler, and if that's what you're after it's reasonable to seek that out, but... they're not therapists. They are women you can cuddle with.

I literally see photos of girls in the shower in a bikini downward angle to show whole body or laying on the beach in a skimpy bikini posing seductively

In addition to what some others mentioned about this being partly a generational thing, I think it's also sometimes a difference in how men vs women see it. For women seeing bodies as sexual can be more context-dependent: "Yeah showing a lot of cleavage/butt cheek/whatever is really sexually provocative over in that context, but in this context it's just a cute outfit." Whereas for men it can be more just "Uh, yeah, your parts are showing, that's sexually provocative, end of story."

ubergigglefritz

@CuddleWho it's just inappropriate to have a picture in a bikini or lingerie when advertising professional cuddle sessions. I don't care about culture or context in this case. But I'm in the older generation I guess. 😆

Mike403

@ubergigglefritz - That's like a nudist thinking that it's okay to post nude photos. It might be appropriate around their kind, but not here.

ubergigglefritz

@Mike403 👍

pmvines

To the OP. Cuddling might have some secondary therapeutic benefits for some , however please dont come into this thinking it is actual therapy. It is not. And if someone tries to tell you they can cure your ailments through their hugs , they are wrong , and chances are they will.tell you anything you want to hear in order to book with them. Cuddling is great and there are certainly some amazing folks on the site as well as on this thread who I can personally vouch for as being amazing humans who I wouid cuddle all the time if I could. But I wouid never look to them to be a therapist to me as it is out of their scopes and honestly puts way too much onto them, which isn't fair.

CuddleDuncan

@pmvines cuddling has had important therapeutic benefits for me, which is partly why I get so exercised about it sometimes. But nobody ever suggested to me that it could cure anything, and both then and now I would have laughed in their face if they had.

My original experiences with cuddling were not on CC and were, as I know now, at the very top end of the range in terms of knowledge and understanding. Since then I have encountered a number of professional cuddlers who, while being lovely people with whom I had a lovely cuddle, had not the faintest clue of what they were doing.

In other words I would agree with your post

@cuddleholic71

Yeah and to suggest that it is not backed by science as helping reduce stress, anxiety, help with PTSD, help with intimacy issues and etc...I mean that's just not true. It HAS been shown to help with those issues and more. However, if all you dissenters are saying is "maybe it is, maybe it isn't or maybe it can be, but this site isn't for THAT type of cuddling", then fine. Fair enough. I misevaluated this site. My bad. Still seems like some potential good can be experienced, but for therapeutic touch therapy, it is not a strong option.

For the record, no one said it "cures" anything. That's people hearing what they wanna hear. But still, respectful dialogue all around so I appreciate it.

ubergigglefritz

I call it therapeutic, not therapy, when describing my work. But I have some education and knowledge in what I am doing. I am always honest in what I am comfortable and knowledgeable in handling versus not, because I certainly don't have experience with every situation (for example, I am very interested in learning more about working with people with PTSD and gaining experience there). There are a LOT of pros who do not have that knowledge and can definitely be harmful to people with certain needs. There is nothing wrong with the full spectrum of professionals (though I wish rates correlated more), but anyone who has therapeutic needs should be honest in that and seek out a professional who is a good fit for them. There is so much harm that can be done in the cuddle environment. 💜