Overwhelming GRATITUDE for my cuddle MENTOR 😊🦋🌈🌻🎈🌞

sillysassysillysassy
edited July 2022 in General

📢📣🚨WARNING - - - TAKE HEED - - - EMOTIONAL POST AHEAD!!! 🚩🚦🚥

I don't know how many of you cuddle peeps have experienced something like this.

I have someone from this community that I am so very thankful for. He is such a beautiful human being and has a desire for such severity of kindness in a way that I've rarely encountered. This gentleman's name is @respectful and I am here to tell you how much he helped me in my cuddle journey.

When I first joined, I noticed there were some “veteran” cuddlers on the site and I reached out to him for some pointers and advice. I was a newbie and scared a bit of the unknown. This kind soul took all sorts of time to listen to my questions and curiosity over and over and over. I was just reading through our first messages from Feb 2018 and it struck me how thoughtful he was. This morning my heart is filled with thankfulness and gratitude. 😊

Whether your person is from CC or the outside world, has anyone else experienced this or is it just me??
Do you have a personal cuddle mentor? Are you self taught and have no need for such frivolities? Are you tired of these silly threads and wish we could just GET TO THE CUDDLES?!?!?

Comments

  • munkgmunkg

    @sillysassy Those are humble, kind and very sweet words.

    Your threads are surprisingly refreshing 😌

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Awwwww @munkg thank you so much. 😊

    I do feel pretty glad I had him to teach me the ropes.

  • respectfulrespectful

    What a beautiful thing to say @sillysassy -- thank you. I've enjoyed all our conversations, and you are a super encouraging person!

    We might even get to cuddle one day ... that's the problem with being in different countries. :)

  • RezzRezz

    @respectful He really does live up to his username. He's the Mister Rogers of Cuddle Comfort.
    Mister Respectful

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @respectful SOMEDAY!!!! Country to country is my goal!! Everyone would want to snuggle you if you were in the U.S. Do you have a cuddle mentor? Some wise and seasoned person such as yourself who helped you on your journey?

    this is not a thread about me silly its about you and other kind helpful humans! 🤣😂 but thank you for the kind words. 😊

    Awwww @Rezz yesssssssss

  • respectfulrespectful

    @sillysassy There isn't a particular person who has been like a mentor, but I got a lot out of looking at past forum posts and interviewing some people here -- I loved hearing all the different perspectives and experiences people have had.

    Scarlette was a kind of motherly figure when she was around and had a lot of wise things to say.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @LlamasAreCool was my first cuddle partner. He gave me a safe space to feel out my cuddle wings over multiple sessions, to see how I could jump right into cuddling a stranger, and really see how perfect this work is for me and how well I could do it. I would have no reservations recommending him for people looking for an enthusiast cuddle partner. 🤗💜

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs
    edited July 2022

    The first person to introduce me to the power of healing touch wasn't anyone on this site, or even a cuddle professional. He was, in fact, a psychologist who was also a Buddhist priest and ran a traditional therapy group where his main modality was to apply the techniques of loving presence as developed in the Hakomi method. In this group members routinely held each other while sharing or talking out their stuff with the therapist, and it was the first time I realized how helpful feeling held was for me in allowing some of my early childhood trauma to come out. After a few months the psychologist voluntarily relinquished his therapy license - realizing that what he was doing within the group was not technically allowed by the terms of the license, but it WAS the key ingredient in what made the group so effective! So one day he declared that we would still hold the group, but it would no longer be a "therapy" group, that he was surrendering his license, and no longer going to operate as a licensed psychologist.

    The group continued that way for a few more months until he retired, after which I was at a loss to find anything like it! I tried to find another process group, but every other group I went to, members sat next to each other in their seats, said their piece in turns, and sometimes used monikers to protect their identity. No touch, no hugs, no nothing. When the group was over, that was the end of it till the next week. I was devasted. The one thing which worked in my old group - touch - just wasn't there to be found!

    That's when I realized I need to forget looking for a traditional therapy group, and instead look for someone who could give me what I needed - to be held! I found a wonderful cuddle pro. It wasn't a common thing at the time and there were few of them, this pro was two hours drive away. We had several sessions, and a few even in my talk therapist office where she held me while the therapist did EMDR to help reprocess some of those old traumatic memories around abandonment.

    That pro also facilitated CuddleParty, and going to those gave me the group setting I had such a hard time finding all this time! It was such a transforming experience. After a few appearances at those events it was clear to me that I myself had to learn to do it, and offer it to the world too. So I did the training and started offering my own events. I always had a clear model in mind for what my events would be like - lke that first group I went to! While people do come to my events to access touch in a healing way, I don't offer anything with the intent of healing anyone - I do it almost exclusively for the joy and healing it provides me.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @CuddlesByDeep check out The Mankind Project (formerly "New Warriors"). My friend sees a group with them and they hug. 😁

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs
    edited July 2022

    @ubergigglefritz yes indeed, I'm part of a mens group with The Mankind Project right now, and just love it! Did you read about this really cool men's therapeutic cuddle group in PA? It started life as one of the MKP groups and then evolved from there. https://www.ajc.com/lifestyles/health/men-cuddling-group-aims-redefine-masculinity-and-heal-trauma/3szHGnm7GEvJcTqhrace5N

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Omgosh this is so amazing!! 😊😊😊

    I love that there are people out there who not only HOLD us but also “hold space” for the emotions that can come out during the process.

    It is so fantastic that therapists are seeing the benefit of platonic touch and there is more acceptance in the social world to help us find healing from past trauma.

    And that ManKindProject. YAY!!! It feels somehow like these people are changing a long held world view…. One hug at a time.

    I like what @CuddlesByDeep mentioned… we get to take some of those learned tools and pass them on to others. All of the sudden…. There will be so so so many more who see the benefits. 😊☀️✨

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Awww love it.

  • QuietTimesQuietTimes

    Well, this is a beautiful thread. 💙 My mentor deserves a shout out, but I'll ask her before commenting.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @QuietTimes that is a very thoughtful approach. Good on you. I'm glad you have someone though!!

    I think often times its the WAY that people mentor you, sometimes even without realizing it. For me, over and over it seems like those who are willing to share their heart and give you freedom to take their ideas or leave them, are the people I enjoy listening to. The possibility of ideas and what worked for them. The notion that everyone does it differently but I'll share my story. It feels like there have been lots of people who really care. I just love that. 😊

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