Discretion does not equal anonymity

I would like to ask the cuddle patrons, what are the typical protocols for house guests in your daily life? Do you typically know their name, have seen them before, and have a general sense of their age/demographic? Cuddle patrons have repeatedly asked me to host them because of issues with discretion, but do not want to even provide their name, or submit themselves to a quick video chat (5 minutes or less). I'm thankful for the cuddle patrons who recognize that I to enter someone's home is a privilege, and that cuddling is best when both parties are comfortable.

SunsetSnuggles

I've seen quite a few Pro's who ask for ID (with sensitive parts blocked out) before they will book. It's all up to your comfort level. I, personally, do not host because I am not comfortable with pretty much anyone being in my safe space. 🏠

You could suggest that these people book a hotel, which would provide a neutral zone and require them to give ID to the hotel. But do you really want to book with people who aren't willing to honor your safety requests in the first place?

~ Sunset Snuggles

SoftHairForDays

So they want to know where you live, but won't do a video chat or tell you their name? That sounds like a red flag to me. Giving out your address is showing them that you trust them with that info. Why can't they at least do a video call to show you who they are? That seems to be a very simple and reasonable request. I would not host someone without a video call - absolutely not. That's just me.

Jubal

There's a great scene in the movie "Predators", when Laurence Fishburne shouts something like "You're in MY house, motherfucker!!"

When someone comes to my house, they abide by my rules. If someone comes to your house, they abide by your rules. I often have guests enter my home while knowing very little about them. But then, I'm a combat veteran and almost always armed. You have different considerations when allowing a cuddle guest into your home, and have to be more conscious of your personal safety. So your rules would surely be different than mine.

So yes, it's very reasonable to have some minimal screening - a name, video chat, or the like - before allowing a cuddle patron to enter your home.

biancalovecraft

Absolutely not.

CharlieBear

@Attica_Finch I think if someone is unwilling to provide basic info about themselves and won’t let you get a feel for them via video chat beforehand, they are setting off some major red flags and should not be allowed into your home. They don’t seem to be taking your safety into consideration and that makes me think that they do not deserve your trust.

achetocuddle

People acting like that is a bunch of bullsh*t and never meet them.

cde123

If they don't want to reciprocate the trust involved with giving your address then I'd point clients at dayuse.com or some other same-day hotel service. Come to think of it, I'd probably require that for all first-time clients, even with screening. You never know when you're going to have a bad one.

JohnR1972

I have only been in the home of 3 cuddle partners (2 pros and 1 enthusiast). One pro asked for photo ID during a video chat prior to our meeting (which I happily provided). The other pro did not ask for ID or even my full name (she knows it now but she did not ask prior to our fist meeting). The enthusiast was someone I had met for breakfast at a public location and had spent time with at a group cuddle before going to her home.

I 100% agree with the concept of “house rules” - it is your house so you set the rules. If you want to see a photo ID before giving your address to someone you have every right to ask. If someone doesn’t want to show their ID, that is their right but that doesn’t mean you should change your rules, it just means they are not the right person for you to give your address to. Never let someone talk you into compromising your vetting process.

Babichev

If someone does not want to verify to you who they are then they are not your ideal client.

Boundaries are NOT negotiable.

Boundaries are NOT to be "gone around" or "worked past".

Boundaries are to be respected.

Those who do not respect your boundaries should be shunned, avoided, reported.

Nickoli

A neutral meeting place like a hotel as suggested above may work for you. But even then I'd still want to know who I'm meeting. I've never been asked for an I'd or even my name to be honest but I wouldn't mind providing this or a short conversation if this makes the women I'm cuddling with feel more comfortable. I'd trust your gut and the feedback you've been given.

@achetocuddle Did you have an opinion on this? lol

@achetocuddle BTW I totally agree.

CharlieBear

@cde123 i had used that site for a pro I had a session with that lived further from me. It worked out great!

GreatHornedOwl

@Attica_Finch I think that @Green_Eyes has said it as well as it could be said.

As Atticus Finch said: “The only remedy for this is not to let it beat you.” Pass on this guy. and wait for the next.

Mare_Bear

Red flags! Please some training

RadiantHugs

No intent to give a name or show ID is a red flag. Just say no.

NO NO NO

CuddleWho

As a (male) cuddle client, I regularly host people I know nothing about, and often it turns out even the name they have given me is a pseudonym. I'm not 100% thrilled with this, but it seems the most expedient way to handle it. Many pro cuddlers are not inclined to give their real name before meeting, and they're also not necessarily amenable to any kind of meetup, virtual or otherwise, before the session. Plus I don't know if I'd want to bother with that anyway.

That said, if I were a woman hosting men, I would probably handle the situation differently.

achetocuddle

@Btown Lol. Sometimes saying it crass and plain works for me and the situation!

@achetocuddle Sometlimes it is best to just get to the point.

achetocuddle

@Btown Yep.